About these parents letting their toddler run riot in a restaurant?

[Cheeseoncrumpets]

I want to start by saying that I have no issue with children being in restaurants, but this really did take the piss IMO.

Went out with a friend to a well known chain restaurant for lunch. Very family friendly and lots of families there as a result. As above I have no problem with that, however one couple who unforunately were sat in the booth right behind us, continually let their toddler run riot.

The restauarnt have high chairs available but they had for whatever reason chosen not to use one and he was sat on the seat next to his parents. He kept getting down and running off, firstly he ran right over to the otherside of the restaurant then towards the serving hatch area where staff are collecting hot food, and finally towards the kitchen doors which suddenly prompted the father to go and retrieve him. They sat him down and kept trying to pacify him with lots of 'no don't do that Charlie' (not his real name), 'would you like to play on Mummy's phone Charlie?'. He then kept trying to climb over the booth, and was at one point standing on the seats. At no point did either parent do much to get him under control other than utter a half arsed 'dont do that Charlie'. A walk outside usually works IME.

Eventually he climbed down and went to sleep on the floor next to their table cuddling a soft toy, meaning staff and customers had to either step over him or walk around him. Both parents sat there and just gazed at him adoringly before paying the bill, scooping him up in their arms and leaving.

I'd like to stress I know this wasnt the little boy's fault. He wasnt any older than about two, was clearly bored and just wanted to go off and explore like toddlers do. Im just a bit shocked that either parent thought this was acceptable parenting?

AIBU to think that some parents are incrediably entitled and expect everyone else to tolerate their kids?

"Ginger if your child screams in a high chair and is uncontrollable otherwise you don’t take him to restaurants. It’s really very simple."

@CassianAndor where did I say my child is uncontrollable? He sits on a seat in a restaurant. My point was that the sweeping generalisation that a highchair solves everything is untrue.

Yeast? Twats!

Fine, if a child, any child, won’t go in a high chair and is otherwise uncontrollable, that family don’t go to restaurants. OK?

Here’s an anecdote for all the people thinking this is fine - friend and her mum having lunch in a nice restaurant (not a chain, not especially family friendly. Big groups of mums getting pissed while their DC run around the place. DC are around about eye height to the corner of the tables. Friend’s mum comments that one of these kids is going to have a nasty accident. Hey presto, about 5 minutes later they do - child runs into the corner of a table. Screams the place down. Eventually the staff told them to leave because they were disturbing the other diners.

Completely different scenario to what was happening in the OP though, isn't it?

Actually, this situation clearly is nothing to do with how your child is so I’m not sure why you felt the need to post.

It's the difference between a child being a child in a public place, vs a child being disruptive in a public place. For me the difference is the noise, what volume plus what type of noise it is. Screeching, banging, shouting, screaming are all disruptive. Exploring, climbing, lying down, talking are not.

The toddler you describe sounds perfectly toddler like and not disruptive. If you don't like children behaving like children then go somewhere else. They and their active DC have as much right to be there as you and your church mice DC.

I would love to see the parents' reaction if you'd said this to them all of this would have been prevented if they'd have just sat him in a highchair do you seriously think they haven't tried that?!

Cheeseoncrumpets

I think you are rather harsh.

I do let my child walk around table in restaurant while I walk behind him for a bit when he gets bored from the high chair.

He hates sitting in it and while I try to put him in it I also try to entertain him with many things and at times I let him climb and sit on the table enjoy the attention.

I don’t let him scream and I don’t let him run around on his own so I do follow him.

I wouldn’t let him sleep on the floor because I would be worried someone steps on him and on him getting dirty.

But I don’t think the world revolves around anyone. I do expect the people in the restaurant to not be judgemental about my child walking around tables and not wanting to sit in high chair for long and possibly standing on the table and possibly giggling and making noise.. I would only be embarassed if he was screaming and being all stressy in which case I would take him out until calmer... or pull through and distract him for few minutes..

I must be a horrible mum to expect people to be understanding that my child is a child..

I think it’s people’s fault if they can’t tolerate a child.. unless his behaviour was reasonably preventable and the parents didn’t do anything then I would tolerate.. and even if the parents slacked a bit I would allow it for a while and might step in to help, or might say something kindly and politely to them like “your son might run into the kitchen keep him with you”.

But really I wouldn’t think they’re crap parents if I’m honest. Would think they’re tired

I still remember what my mum used to say to us if we were getting loud ‘I don’t want to hear you screaming and everyone else sure as hell doesnt’. A straight talker, was my mum...

Venger no, not really. Children misbehaving in restaurants whilst parents do fuck all. Sounds pretty similar to me.

I think mine used to do WAY worse than this. There's no way he'd have been sleeping in there! He'd pick up the salt/pepper shakers if he could reach them, and coasters/condiments and lob them at other tables, scream, slam his hands down on the tables; offered paper and crayons... fab missiles for the other diners and serving staff. Placed in a highchair and restrained, he'd HOWL..- the place was just so exciting, sights, smells, music, he couldn't keep still and wanted to be everywhere. We stopped taking him pretty quickly! Have a 7 and 3 year old now and wouldn't trust the 3 year old to behave well enough even in a "family place", it'd just stress me out way too much trying to keep him under control.

I never said he can't 'behave' he just doesn't like being in a high chair but you're clearly one of those horrible people who just feels the need to comment on other people's parenting to make amusement for yourself.

So Im a horrible person for wanting to enjoy a quiet meal without someone else's child run riot? OK then, clearly I've hit a raw nerve somewhere. Are you Charlies Mum by any chance?

@CassianAndor yes, fine! FWIW I don't agree that kids should run riot in restaurants and I wouldn't let my child do it but I'm not quick to judge others for it, especially if I have no experience of what I'm judging.

So many variations of situations like this on here but the devil really is in the details. Of course this is unacceptable and the parents are crazy. This situation was dangerous for both servers, the kid and other patrons. Totally different from one of the other scenarios where the children were a bit loud and touching (not breaking) things when waiting in.line with their mum. Idk, there's such a clear cut difference to me making one completely normal and one completely unacceptable.

Haha, this sounds like my trip to Nandos with my daughter when she was 3 (she's now 7). I never went back, and I have only taken my children out to eat once since.

Trust me, it's shit for the parents too.

Venger no, not really. Children misbehaving in restaurants whilst parents do fuck all. Sounds pretty similar to me.

Except there wasn't a huge group of adults, only the one child moving around not "loads", no one was getting drunk, this took place in a "very" family friendly chain, and staff did not feel the need to intervene or ask them to leave so obviously wasn't causing that much of an issue to them or other diners (OP excepted).

But yeah, other than the totally different circumstances involved its completely the same

"I never said he can't 'behave' he just doesn't like being in a high chair but you're clearly one of those horrible people who just feels the need to comment on other people's parenting to make amusement for yourself.

So Im a horrible person for wanting to enjoy a quiet meal without someone else's child run riot? OK then, clearly I've hit a raw nerve somewhere. Are you Charlies Mum by any chance? "

No, I'm not and you are entitled to enjoy a quiet meal but I The smug, judgemental tone of your posts isn't very nice. I hope when you have kids (assuming you don't already) that they are always perfect angels for you.

Honestly, I am surprised you thought that behavior was “running riot”
for a two year old. He didn’t really do much imho. Running off 2x, climbing up back of booth and standing on booth seats are pretty run of the mill in my experience.
A toddler riot is more a child screaming, throwing things, running off continuously, stealing food from other customers, getting into fights with other children, kicking furniture....
Sleeping on the floor is gross...I would not have allowed that myself...but sleeping is not running riot either.

Someone who users the term breeders is someone wanting a bunfight.

SEN aside, in Europe it tends to only be the British kids left to run riot. Local kids tend to be far better behaved because their parents have socialised them already in adult restaurant settings and will talk to them directly instead of expecting the restaurant to amuse them. I have often seen French / Spanish / Italian parents leave a restaurant temporarily with a crying or screaming baby / child to calm them.

Yeah it's shitty parenting. Perhaps they're always like that, or perhaps they're having a bad day, who knows. But I'll bet that if Charlie ended up getting hot food or drink spilled on him, they would be furious about it.

Pregosaraus Nothing wrong with toddlers exploring, if its safe to do so. But a restaurant is a hardly a safe place with all the hot food, drinks, glass, cuttlery pottery etc that could potentually cause them an injury.

There’s no excuse for parents allowing behaviour like that. It’s lazy and careless parenting

It is interesting how the parents in these anecdotes are always ‘gazing adoringly’ at the child. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed other parents looking any particular way at their children when I’m out to eat, and I’m not sure what adoring gazes would even look like. Maybe people are just more observant than me/

SEN aside

This isnt a dig but SEN is not a catch-all term for children with disabilities.

SEN refers to learning needs, meaning a child needs support in order to access education and learn effectively.

Plenty of children with SEN have absolutely no disabilities.

The term you are looking for is SN - special needs (also called additional needs).

Children with SN do have disabilities however they may have no SEN as one does not preclude the other.

Using the terms interchangeably is offensive, please try to get them right in future.

Venger no, merely there were a group of inconsiderate twat parents rather than one. But it only takes one to cause a server to trip over them, it only takes one to be bothering other diners.

It’s all cut from the same cloth, I’m entitled to be here, I’ve got just as much right as you blah blah. Not if your Kids can’t behave, you don’t.

Just fucking say no to your kids and know that you can’t do everything you want if your DC aren’t ready for it.

Jesus. No wonder there are so many badly behaved entitled kids out there. Looks like for some it starts at day 1.