Children should be locked up and never heard

[LittleBlueBag]

I'm a single mother and today went to a large out of town store with my toddler twins who are almost 3. Too old for the pram and eager to explore.
I was paying for an item at the till and one of the twins was looking at a mug. He touched it but it remained on the hook. The other twin was happy playing with a car from the store.
They were being loud but were excited. A staff member who must of just finished her shift and was behind me waiting to pay for an item told me the children were very naughty and we should not be allowed out in public if I can't control them. She said they're behaviour is awful and just made me feel really shitty about myself.
They are a handful and can be naughty but just normal toddler behaviour.
I must of turned my back on them for a split second. It's impossible to carry them both.
So wise mumnetters? Are my children really that bad?
I did complain to the manager but I was so ashamed.

OP you risked your children running out of the shop and they could run into a road. It is doesn't matter if you are single parent or not.

This is why you see parents with small children who can clearly walk with buggies. They strap them in when they are likely to "explore".

Put them in a buggy. Who in their right mind would go shopping with twin toddlers and not put them in a buggy I put my 1 child who is nearly 3 in her stroller cos I need to whiz in and out of shops, I haven't got the time or patience to let her walk about.

Lots of very harsh comments here OP! Do people not know/ forget how loud toddlers are? They're not really known for comprehending volume easily and you do have to pay for things at the till sometime.

The staff member was rude. If they really thought you were struggling, there are far more productive things they could do.

OP said her toddlers were next to her, but on reigns. Not about to run into the road.

John Lewis often put lots of items around the till at toddler grabbing height.

She was really rude. Hard enough going shopping with 2 wee ones. Pretty sure they were no worse than many other kids. Don’t take it to heart.

@ColaFreezePop

OP said they were on reigns, but she couldn't give them 100% attention as she was paying at the till.

You are getting a very hard time on here OP. All these posters talking about paying for breakables - the child didn't break anything!

The woman was rude and unrealistic in her expectations of a toddler's behaviour. They are 2, not 12.

You are getting a lot of shit here, and I think a lot of it is uncalled for. All this dramatisation about the children running all the way out of a shop and into the road! Get a bloody grip!

I assume this organisation probably don’t want their uniformed staff making parenting assessments and provided feedback to their customers, and she’ll probably be spoken to.

If I let my son loose in a shop he would go wild and cause mayhem, which is exactly why I don’t.

I’m a single parent, it has absolutely no impact on my sons behaviour, being single doesn’t remove boundaries and expectations.

The supermarket isn’t softplay. They should only be allowed to play with things you paid for.

I do remember what toddler are like, @Bibijayne - and I don’t expect perfection. But it is not good parenting to let children play with things in shops - the goods are there to be sold, for full price, not to entertain children. I wouldn’t want to buy something that had been played with and was not pristine, and it is not reasonable to expect shops - or, in reality, the other customers - to pay for the costs of broken or shop soiled items.

As I said earlier - shops don’t absorb the costs of items that are broken, or that have to be reduced because they have been played with and aren’t in new condition any more - it is part of the percentage loaded onto the prices that you and I pay for everything.

And again, as I said earlier - I don’t expect children to be silent, but running around being loud and excited is not reasonable, and it is poor parenting to allow it without making any effort to get the children to calm down.

Loud and excited children running around shops and fiddling with merchandise are a complete and utter pain in the arse, frankly.

Control them, at least by stopping the running around. Mine were still in the buggy where necessary at that age, whether they liked it or not so you can certainly stop the running about (exploring, as you put it). I also had reins and a wrist strap which I would occasionally use, but the buggy was easier, even if they could be quite verbose in their dislike (which I simply ignored).

YANBU OP. She sounds horrible. Twin toddlers are HARD and allowances should be made. People have no compassion towards parents sometimes .

Yeah sorry their behaviour sounds pretty bad. It’s a really tough age and twins on your own must be really difficult but it’s still not ok for them to be really loud, playing with toys you’re not buying and picking up fragile stuff like china. Almost 3 is not too big to be in a buggy and would be the most sensible solution. Also consider shopping online or when they are in nursery (if applicable). Yes they’re being normal toddlers, mine would do exactly the same if I let her, but as parents we have to manage that!

No one to carry one toddler while I carry the other.

Parents who aren’t single still don’t have the other parent with them every time they go anywhere. The fact that your kids don’t see their dad isn’t really relevant to you letting them run around playing with things in shops.

Your kids were playing up, someone was huffy with you about it. She didn’t say ‘children should be locked up’. You’re making a big deal out of nothing.

Omg I cannot believe what I am reading here. My kids misbehave when I'm out in public when I'm on my own with the 2 of them, ones 4 and the other 2 almost 3! Kids do misbehave and try to push boundaries and also do be very loud. People should mind there own business and appreciate she's a single mom juggling shopping with twins, parents shouldn't feel isolated into the house and do shopping online just because they have kids. Jesus Christ give the woman a break.

Don't worry my two are devils aswell in public really show me up your not lazy for saying your child is naughty...

Totally agree brokenlady. Kids are loud. That’s life!

I used to put mine in a buggy if I ever ventured into shops with them at that age. If not the buggy then I had their hands 24/7. I would not let them out of my sight for fear of them causing utter carnage... I mostly shop online though because I really don’t need the hassle of children in shops.

Shop online as much as you can and yes, try to keep ahold of them in public. Reins if you have to.

I hope I don’t bump into you when I’m shopping, either, broken
How hilarious that your kids are ‘devils’ in public. You must piss people off wherever you go.

Got a feeling that poor mum here is having a bit of a hard or difficult time in her life, cut her a bit of slack please no ones perfect!.

If the children you were not watching had climb on a shelf and it had collapsed who would you be blaming, yourself for your negligence or the shop?

Do you people really say things like this in real life?!?! She was extremely rude even if she thought it she didn't need to say it. Im glad you complained. It just sounds like they were doing normal 3 year old things!! It's hard when they're that age I've been there.

OP had them on reins so they weren't roaming free around the shop. They were being loud at the till and touched some items in their reach while the OP was paying (I'm presuming you were also buying the car your other twin was playing with?).

OP was leaving the shop, the twins were also.leaving the shop. It was shitty of this woman to say what she did when it was clear that the twins weren't running around and the source of whatever noise washing created was about to leave the store.

parents shouldn't feel isolated into the house and do shopping online just because they have kids.

no, but they should lose that horribly entitled attitude: "unruly, misbehaved and loud kids are just being kids". No, you are a parent, do your job.

People are trying to mind their own business but it's hard when we have to put up with your little darlings.

The staff member was rude. If they really thought you were struggling, there are far more productive things they could do.

The staff are not there to be unpaid nannies, you have 'em, you watch 'em.