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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you feel if you received this email?

544 replies

SamCam349 · 20/09/2019 00:49

Is this (below) a nice email to receive? What would you think of the sender who wrote it??

‘I will reluctantly speak to you next Tuesday to attempt to address your discriminatory actions. As I mentioned last week, I, personally, do not consider you to be that important, and I would not be entertaining this call were your manager not also be participating.’

OP posts:
Original poster
SamCam349 · 20/09/2019 00:52

Vote:

YANBU - The email is not nice
YABU - The email is nice

OP posts:
PeterthePainter · 20/09/2019 00:52

I would think that you have pissed the recipient off in spades!

MissPepper8 · 20/09/2019 00:53

Person is an arse who thinks very highly of themselves

joyfullittlehippo · 20/09/2019 00:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 20/09/2019 00:58

Slightly more detail needed like a vague idea what has gone on.

It could be that your actions are racist/homophobic/disablist/agest/sexist and the sender quite rightly doesn't want to themselves in a vulnerable position dealing with you

Or it could be that the sender is highly strung and thinks a lot of themselves

Without a little more information about what has caused the email to be sent who knows??!

100PercentThatBitch · 20/09/2019 01:04

The email is obviously not nice and would never be described as nice.

The bigger question it leaves is :

Is it justified/accurate in the circumstances?

madcatladyforever · 20/09/2019 01:07

What is the back story to this?

Morado · 20/09/2019 01:07

What did you do?! Hmm Confused

HappyBumbleBee · 20/09/2019 01:13

I'd think whoever sent it was a complete dick who is sat up on their self constructed pedestool looking down on people from a great height! (ie a dick)!

Original poster
SamCam349 · 20/09/2019 01:14

It is very difficult for me to explain the backstory. I just wanted to get an idea of the tone of the email, and how one would typically expect to feel on receiving it.

OP posts:
Shatteredmummy30 · 20/09/2019 01:14

oh no someone isn't happy with you.. i'd be pee'd off to recieve that

CSIblonde · 20/09/2019 01:15

(Sorry, but the voting thing is pointless faff to me) ..... It's hostile: & a warning shot across the bows (think that's the right phrase). I'd be making very sure I was prepared for said meeting. What did you do?! Discrimination as in their sex, disability or sexuality? Or was it perceived favoritism by you to a client or coworker?

Shatteredmummy30 · 20/09/2019 01:15

receive **

Gingernaut · 20/09/2019 01:15

I'd need to see/hear the back story to this.

For any number of reasons, the writer may have right on his/her side, but that is one pissed off writer.

HappyBumbleBee · 20/09/2019 01:15

Ps is not very professional either.... If it's to discuss discriminatory actions the receiver of the email has committed - but that's hard to tell as there's no further information

Neveam · 20/09/2019 01:15

Sounds like an email DP would send to someone who has pissed him off at work. Continuously.

BritInUS1 · 20/09/2019 01:17

Hard to say out of context - what was the tone of the interactions prior to this?

BlueBirdGreenFence · 20/09/2019 01:20

Depends. If they think you were racist/homophobic etc towards them then they're probably really angry. Totally depends on what happened.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 20/09/2019 01:20

Well someone's obviously pissed off with you.

Is it from a colleague at the same level or a manager? It doesnt come across as written in a professional manner from either, but more so if it is from a manager. Whoever it is, is definitely trying to assert that they have some form of moral high ground/importance above you.

Context is kind of key here OP!

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 20/09/2019 01:22

It doesn't really make much sense (even without knowing the backstory).

I can't tell if the meeting is happening (a) because the manager has asked for it, or (b) because the writer wouldn't be willing to meet without a third party present.

I think it could still display the same displeasure, but be shorter and clearer. I don't think it's really designed to be "nice" is it?!

sofato5miles · 20/09/2019 01:23

Oh dear, what did you do?

7salmonswimming · 20/09/2019 01:23

The sender is offended by you, and doesn’t care for or about you.

What on Earth have you done to have someone feel this way about you?! That’s some cold shit there!

isabellerossignol · 20/09/2019 01:24

I think from the question being asked that perhaps OP is thinking of sending the email.

In which case I'd say don't do it, unless you want someone to think you are a monumental arse. Even if the other person has indeed been offensive, that email is not the way to address it.

VenusTiger · 20/09/2019 01:27

The sender can’t be arsed (as in doesn’t care for you or your actions) or is too angry to deal with the issue.
Sounds like they’ve had enough.

IsobelRae23 · 20/09/2019 01:27

Hard to say without knowing the backstory.