Will he ever find himself?

[idonthalfpickum]

My partner of several years has gone on his annual pilgrimage to "find himself". He tells me he needs this few days (see two weeks) to be able to cope with the world. This is usually fine by me. However, this year:

1. It was not discussed with me. The first I heard of it was when he was talking over plans with his friend
2. We have a 6 month old. Its been a struggle as he works away a lot and basically I'm looking after them on my own most of the time.

When confronted with the fact that I'm not happy about this and he has been selfish/thoughtless, he informed me that I'm the one being unreasonable. So AIBU?

I have "found" the love of my life. She dribbles but talks more sense than my partner. Thank you not-so-DP you have made me really love my DD.

Don't let him spoil your time with Baby DD he is not worth it!!!

@RandomMess I had the "you are not ruining my time with DD"conversation some time ago. It didn't dawn on him then and it never will. The latest gem from him, after my hectic day of the usual baby stuff, nursery viewing, collecting repaired pram etc, "you need me as you aren't coping". Did I manage all these tasks? Ermm yes.

OP I was you several years ago. I was fighting tooth and nail to hold my marriage together. My ex DH was literally destroying me, physically, emotionally, financially. My next door neighbour, kindly said to me, (after I again apologised to her for his screaming and shouting at me and the dc), "you don't have to do this anymore, no one is making you stay in this marriage". That was my epiphany moment. I could see and think clearly for the first time in a few years, I ended my marriage within a week of that conversation.

Why keep up the charade of trying, going to counselling etc. Set yourself and DD free from this misery.

"you need me as you aren't coping".

I cannot....⛔...laughing

He is a 🐍

🚷

OP, you seem to enjoy telling us all how awful he is. Are you going to leave him?

Please change the locks, put his stuff out of YOUR house, and make him leave. He's a cocklodger.

"you need me as you aren't coping".

Ha ha ha ha - is the best reply to that!

I just read all of your updates from the weekend. I can't even express how angry I am for you OP. I feel it all through my body right down to my bones. In fact, I'm going to have to take a break and go chill out for a minute.

Fuming! I'm fuming 😤

I don't think OP is enjoying it at all. I think that she now knows he is scum, but she is struggling to accept that this means she will be a single parent, solely responsible for DD. Plus his attitude and nasty comments will have eroded her confidence in being able to do this alone.

OP's been a single parent all along, and she keeps saying she's strong, and won't put up with it, but she hasn't done anything to sort it out.

It is all well and good saying LTB, but is it that easy? Not in my experience.

OP is clearly strong in every other aspect of her life and the realisation of the reality of this relationship is perhaps a little confusing.

OP is still trying to understand him, which makes it clear that she is very confused, as do the headaches etc. If she was out the other side with her mind made up, she would know that he is a waste of skin cretin.

She isnt there yet and I think, she is still struggling with the ongoing narcissist attacks.

But I may be wrong

For all of you with unhelpful comments to my situation. You seem to need as much help as my partner. As far as I'm aware this is a forum for seeking advice/airing views.

What @chickenyhead said!

Oh and BTW I think you will find I don't need to leave him as the house is mine and I'm financially independent so I think we need to find an alternative acronym.

How about:
KCBO
(kick the cocklodger out!)

That made zero sense
I mean
KTCO

I came up with KTBO kick the bastard out

Will that do?!

@Nquartz @minou123 Not got the same ring as LTB?

CTLOTUBWCFHOAWBH

change the locks on the ungrateful bastard who couldn't find his own arse with both hands.

Catchy?

@chickenyhead ermmm yeah!

@chickenyhead btw isn't that a town in Wales?

Hahaha not enough double Ls but otherwise the random W means it could be.

DLTCI

Don't Let The cocklodger In