To think that 3 glasses of wine with a meal is hardly ‘downing a bottle’

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Dh and I went out for a meal last night for our wedding anniversary. We had a lovely evening. I typically have 2 glasses of wine when we go out but ordered a 3rd last night as it was very nice and I just fancied another one. So 3 glasses over the course of a meal. Yes they were large so about the equivalent of a bottle but AIBU to be a irritated at dh asking me how my head is this morning as I ‘downed a bottle of wine last night’? For context we had a stupid mini row at the end of the meal which was a shame but we both overreacted over something fairly minor. He seems to be implying that it was my fault because of how much I drank.

The background is that dh doesn’t really drink, maybe only at the odd special occasion or on holiday. He used to but stopped a few years ago. I would say that I’m a fairly typical drinker, I pretty much never drink sun-thur (last night obviously being a special occasion) I may have a glass or 2 at home on a Friday night but often don’t. We usually go out for a meal on Saturdays and I usually have a couple of glasses then, and maybe another one at home. I am very rarely properly drunk. The last time I had an awful stay in bed hangover was over a year ago. I think my drinking is pretty average? And yet dh feels the need to comment on it all the time and act like I’m some kind of alcoholic just because I enjoy a couple of glasses of wine. I am getting really tired of it to be honest.

So, aibu to think that 3 glasses of wine with a meal is not excessive and hardly the same as ‘downing a bottle?’

@spanglydangly it’s hard to argue your point and listen to others particularly when they’re mocking you and insulting your intellect.

Alcohol is pure evil for some! I definitely think that begins when social acceptance skews the lines of what’s acceptable and I don’t know anyone in real life (even in professional occupations where this is relevant) who would agree that drinking a whole bottle in one go isn’t excessive drinking.

I’m not saying op has a drinking problem or anyone who does this instantly has a drinking problem, but I definitely think if people are drinking a bottle of wine to themselves, by themselves and not in agreement that it’s excessive to do so, is the beginning of an issue, because it’s not responsible.

Non drinkers are boring now?

@Jellybeansincognito it's perfectly responsible for an adult to do this! You're talking absolute rubbish as MANY have pointed out!

@spanglydangly many agree that a bottle of wine is excessive.

@Jellybeansincognito Sorry you're assuming anyone who has had alcohol is argumentative and the cause of any row, but we can't assume that non drinkers are boring! How judgemental are you?

@spanglydangly I haven’t once said anywhere in this thread that drinkers are argumentative.

I have repeatedly said that I:

Believe a bottle of wine in one go is excessive and it becomes an issue when people deny that it is.

That is it!

But ok, keep pinning others comments onto me if you wish!

You can’t say that drinkers are boring then call the poster who brings you up on that judgemental? Hypocrite.

If I drink a bottle of wine in one go once a year then once a year I drink excessively.

Someone who drinks a whole bottle to themselves in one go once a month drinks excessively twelve time a year.

Someone who does it weekly drinks excessively 52 tines a year.

I don't the posters who are saying doing it once a year is the same as doing it 52 times a year, or that you'd be addict.

That's how I'm reading it anyway.

You are displaying such bullying behaviour

Disagreeing with someone isn't the same as bullying.

Non-drinkers aren't boring, but sanctimonious people who think they know better than HCPs are. You refuse to accept the opinions of those qualified to know better than you, and posters here who work in the field of addiction. You continually denigrate those who enjoy alcohol now and again and insinuate that because they do so without guilt or worry, they have an alcohol problem. You also think that eating a tub of ice cream now and again should be socially unacceptable. And now you're casually throwing accusations of bullying around.

If anyone is doing any bullying on this thread, it sure ain't me.

@BiologyIsntBigoted that’s pretty much how I feel along with if those doing that are in denial that it’s excessive it then becomes an issue.

@BackToTheOIdHouse
I don’t care that people drink, or what they drink- they can drink as much as they like, but responsible drinking is understanding when you’re drinking to excess.
a bottle in one go is excessive to many.

@BackToTheOIdHouse it is bullying when you’re being picked at continuously on a personal level. I haven’t got personal or offensive at all, yet I’ve had to put with accusations of having an eating disorder, mockery and swearing aimed at me.

Aah why don't you give up.

Some don't as much as sniff a cork, others think having 5 buckets in one go is fine. And the rest just lingers on between those two.

Everyone of you think the other is judgmental.

Each to their own.

Perhaps it's just me and my friendship group, but this seems like quite a lot each week

Shiw I was thinking the exact opposite

Shit* sorry, too much wine.

I think your H has a point.

@Jellybeansincognito but it's ok for you to suggest people have an alcohol problem when they evidently and demonstrably do not? You bandy about opinions like that - based on nothing, and the exact opposite if what HCPs etc have told you - and you don't expect people to be upset/angry/incredulous?

If you hadn't made such ridiculous comments nobody would have taken issue with you.

Notice that those simply saying 'a bottle of wine is too much in one sitting' aren't getting the same attention. Why? Because they are acknowledging for the most part that that is simply their opinion, not fact. And also they're not accusing anyone of having an alcohol problem.

Your response reminds me of something an abuser would say to their victim

Lovely.

@Jellybeansincognito that last comment was ridiculous and you weren't answering anymore around 10ish this morning! Obsessed or what!

Your response reminds me of something an abuser would say to their victim.

Over. The. Line.

Wow! Accusing people of having alcohol problems and now using the abuser/victim statement.
There are people on here who have probably experienced domestic violence or sexual abuse. Using it as an insult is not nice at all.

@Jellybeansincognito I've reported your post. Comparing someone to an abuser because they don't agree with your opinion is deeply insensitive and too far.

People who drink don't all have an alcohol problem and people who disagree with you are not abusers.

The end.

@Greggers2017 very well said!

@woodchuck99 you’re trying to say that drinking a whole bottle of wine in one go is ok because it’s a one off, it is still excessive regardless.

Yes, it is okay if it happens about once a year because there will be no effects on the liver and no effect on anything else. i.e. it isn't a big deal.

When does alcohol suddenly because problem then?

It becomes a problem when it is damaging someone's health. A bottle of wine twice a year won't do that to a healthy person. It would have to be quite a bit more often.

There seems to be no middle ground with you.

Interesting that you are saying that when you are the one who doesn't seem to get the point that the frequency makes a difference.

I must be an alcoholic too if so as I have a bottle of fizz in the freezer for when my sister comes here this evening 😳

You probably shouldn't do that. It might explode!

@BackToTheOIdHouse you’ve personally attacked me multiple times, it’s unnecessary. You’re all in control of your own behaviours, don’t pretend to all of a sudden be a victim.