To think that 3 glasses of wine with a meal is hardly ‘downing a bottle’

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Dh and I went out for a meal last night for our wedding anniversary. We had a lovely evening. I typically have 2 glasses of wine when we go out but ordered a 3rd last night as it was very nice and I just fancied another one. So 3 glasses over the course of a meal. Yes they were large so about the equivalent of a bottle but AIBU to be a irritated at dh asking me how my head is this morning as I ‘downed a bottle of wine last night’? For context we had a stupid mini row at the end of the meal which was a shame but we both overreacted over something fairly minor. He seems to be implying that it was my fault because of how much I drank.

The background is that dh doesn’t really drink, maybe only at the odd special occasion or on holiday. He used to but stopped a few years ago. I would say that I’m a fairly typical drinker, I pretty much never drink sun-thur (last night obviously being a special occasion) I may have a glass or 2 at home on a Friday night but often don’t. We usually go out for a meal on Saturdays and I usually have a couple of glasses then, and maybe another one at home. I am very rarely properly drunk. The last time I had an awful stay in bed hangover was over a year ago. I think my drinking is pretty average? And yet dh feels the need to comment on it all the time and act like I’m some kind of alcoholic just because I enjoy a couple of glasses of wine. I am getting really tired of it to be honest.

So, aibu to think that 3 glasses of wine with a meal is not excessive and hardly the same as ‘downing a bottle?’

@Blue7 your post makes no sense. Are you sure you haven't had a bottle of wine this morning?

I linked to food because often it’s socially acceptable to overeat just like it is drinking, it’s not good and doesn’t make it ok.

What harm does eating too much at Christmas do if someone is a healthy weight? What harm does drinking a bit too much do once a year? Absolutely nothing to the person themselves let alone other people so why should it be socially unacceptable?

Same with the alcohol, it doesn’t matter how often someone does it, drinking a whole bottle in one go is excessive drinking. You seem to be excusing it because it’s not done very often, that’s irrelevant.

Of course it matters how much someone does it. You seem clueless.

How many of you would actually sit with a non drinker during a meal and get yourself drunk like op did? Surely you can see that’s an issue in itself.

Pretty much all my friends and family have had two or three glasses of wine in my presence and I can't see the issue.

@woodchuck99 you’re trying to say that drinking a whole bottle of wine in one go is ok because it’s a one off, it is still excessive regardless.

When does alcohol suddenly because problem then? There seems to be no middle ground with you.

@Jellybeansincognito I would absolutely not expect my DH to judge me for drinking three glasses of wine very occasionally, just as I wouldn't judge him. OP wasn't dancing on he table or vomiting in her handbag. That'd be different. But she wasn't.

As for the ice cream analogy, I originally suggested that eating a tub every six months wouldn't make you obese. You said it would be excessive.

Do people eating a tub of ice cream/drinking three glasses of wine impact you personally? If, as you claim, you have no issues with food etc, why should it bother you? Why judge? Neither of these things are a drain on the NHS/cause antisocial behaviour/will bring on the downfall of civilisation. It's not even going do the people partaking any harm (and any GP would agree). So why let it worry you?

I’d be smashed after a bottle of wine but I am an absolutely lightweight! I don’t really drink and honestly I’m not at all a fan of my husband when I’m sober and he’s tipsy so it does lead to unnecessary bickering.

I don’t really understand the need for casual drinking at home, but then I can knock back a share bag of peanut M&Ms in 20 minutes so who am I to criticise! That doesn’t change my personality of course....

When does alcohol suddenly because problem then?

Certainly not after three glasses as a one off and the occasional glass or two at the weekend, which can be taken or left.

What constitutes an alcohol problem for you, @Jellybeansincognito?

Drinking a whole bottle in one go and seeing no issue with it.

I can knock back a share bag of peanut M&Ms in 20 minutes

Oooh careful, the fun police will be breaking your door down any second!

@BackToTheOIdHouse it’s alright by your logic then to smash out a bottle of vodka in one go? So long as you’re not dancing on the table or vomiting into your handbag....

@BackToTheOIdHouse she knows it’s excessive to eat that, at least she’s not in denial about it or trying to make it sound better because it’s ‘occasionally’

@Blue7 your post makes no sense. Are you sure you haven't had a bottle of wine this morning?

Nope, having a black coffee.

It does make sense to me. You"ve obviously haven't seen the wax melts thread.

This thread could go on forever. People either think it's okay and other people don't. No-one is going to change their mind. Well I'm not.

@Jellybeansincognito so let me get this right. Drinking a bottle of wine as a one off and not tying yourself up in knots about it constitutes an alcohol problem? Seriously?

Probably in the same way eating a tub of ice cream twice a year constitutes a compulsive eating disorder, no doubt.

Speechless.

When you’re in denial about a bottle being excessive in one go of course it is @BackToTheOIdHouse

We all eat in excess, we can’t deal with it or be sensible about it when in denial.

How is three glasses of wine with a meal on a special occasion comparable with 'smashing out a bottle of vodka in one go'?

So to reiterate, you have an alcohol problem if you drink a bottle of wine as a one-off.

Never mind that the medical profession, addiction experts etc disagree with you. As does common sense. You know best

I stopped drinking 7 years ago. Last year I went out with old school friends and I know if it had been 7 years ago, I would have been leading the wine charge. However, sitting on the dry bank, the consumption looked large but no one was shit faced or being sloppy ( though by 1am that was a different story).
Its perspective. I dont think either side is correct as to what is an average intake...but, I wouldn't give someone the side eye about it and cast aspersions they were drinking in an abnormal way. If they are causing harm to others, tha6s different, until then it's their responsibility and choice.

I stopped drinking because it was harmful to me a d others.
OP you sound just about right and it's no ones business if you leave your lane once in a while and have a bit more than usual.

@BackToTheOIdHouse as I’ve just said, drinking a bottle of wine in one go is an alcohol problem is one cannot admit that a whole bottle in one go is excessive (as it is) yes. The frequency of this is irrelevant and shouldn’t be used to try and normalise it.

Also, you said it’s fine because she wasn’t dancing on the tables or being sick into her handbag, so by your standards of course drinking a bottle of vodka is comparable, so long as you can be functional- like most alcoholics 🤷‍♀️

Drinking a bottle of wine and one go, and understanding that it was excessive and not necessary- not an alcohol problem, but not exactly great behaviour.

@Jellybeansincognito I doubt anyone could be functional after a bottle of vodka.

Of course the frequency is relevant. By your rationale someone who drinks a bottle of wine once every ten years and doesn't writhe with remorse afterwards has an alcohol problem.

Utterly billybonkers.

@BackToTheOIdHouse that’s not what I said at all, don’t try and twist my words because you’re running out of argument.

Drinking a bottle of wine in one go and being in denial that it’s not excessive- an alcohol issue

Drinking a bottle of wine and understanding it’s excessive and unnecessary- not great behaviour, but not an alcohol issue- sensible alcohol attitude.

@Jellybeansincognito In response to me asking you whether you thought one bottle of wine constitutes an alcohol problem:

When you’re in denial about a bottle being excessive in one go of course it is

Also

The frequency of this is irrelevant

So, yes you did.

You seem confused, have you had a drink?

I gave up drinking in January and i'm a right judgey bitch about it now. I'd say your DH is also a judgey bitch.