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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

75% of mothers

403 replies

user87382294757 · 16/09/2019 18:56

...do all of the housework and childcare related tasks - no matter how many hours they work outside of this

I was a bit depressed to read this in the Independent newspaper today.

I wondered how mush of this rings true in your experience?

OP posts:
thecatinthetwat · 16/09/2019 18:58

I don't know anyone - mother or father, who does all of the childcare and housework. That's ridiculous. How can it be 75% [shocked]

Ilovelala · 16/09/2019 19:00

True for every woman I know whether colleagues,friends,family

Dontcarewhatimdoing · 16/09/2019 19:02

Certainly not true in my house. If anything DH does more.

Hey1256 · 16/09/2019 19:02

Not true always true, hubby does probably 80 percent of cleaning, we also have a cleaner.

Cooking I'd say is 50/50 or maybe I do a little more.

LoonyLunaLoo · 16/09/2019 19:03

True in my house 😡

Knockthreetimes · 16/09/2019 19:03

Not true for me we are pretty much 50/50. Think some of my mum friends maybe do majority but not all of it.

Awrite · 16/09/2019 19:03

Well, I am one of the 25% who married a grown up.

My mother too. And my sister.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 16/09/2019 19:04

I think its more 50/50 for us, but my partner does more childcare and i housework because he its something he has to do while thinking about housework can be beyond him at times O_o

But yes from other people I know I can well believe it.

mbosnz · 16/09/2019 19:04

Not in mine. Even though I'm a full time SAHP of teenaged girls. He loves cooking, if he sees something needs doing, he does it (without being told about it) and is a better Dad than I'll ever be Mum.

PaquitaVariation · 16/09/2019 19:05

I think most people in a relationship overestimate how much housework they do, both partners.

AnnaMariaDreams · 16/09/2019 19:05

Not true in my house. DH does at least 50% except on the 2 days when he works and I don’t. On those days he does a fair bit though!

neverornow · 16/09/2019 19:06

True in my house unfortunately despite my efforts to get him to do more to help.

iwantluxury · 16/09/2019 19:06

How did they get those figures? Hmm

Ohbuggerlugs · 16/09/2019 19:07

Yup!

pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 16/09/2019 19:08

Not true in my house, but not far off true. It irritates me so much. All the mental loa d of housework and childcare is mine, for sure.

GiveMeHope103 · 16/09/2019 19:08

Definitely not true in my home. Come to think of it, most of our close friends it's the same as us.

Heatherjayne1972 · 16/09/2019 19:09

Yes I believe it
my ex cooked 5/7 and put one child in the bath - just bath and pyjamas nothing else ( we have three children)
I did absolutely everything else
He was far too busy and important doing his hobby

We are now divorced

DramaFarmer · 16/09/2019 19:11

What do we vote on?

Are YBU to be depressed?
To wonder if it is true in MN households?

Confused
dobedobedobedoo · 16/09/2019 19:11

Used to be true in my house. DH has improved massively, but I still do the lions share of actual work and 100% of the mental planning. And I work. I’d say it’s true of most women I know. I met a group of woman recently all of whom were jobless domestic doormats; I was horrified. It might not be fair that I do more, but at least if I keep my job I keep my independence.

SlimGin · 16/09/2019 19:11

I do a lot because DP isn't really here for 5 days of the week (leaves at 8am, returns at 11pm). But on his days off DP usually cooks and tidies up. He also does the garden which I don't touch.
However, I'm more likely to organise an activity for DD and sort out things she needs. I also get up with her in the mornings and put her to bed.

iwantluxury · 16/09/2019 19:12

I'd believe it if you said mother's do most of these tasks but I simply don't believe they do them all. So only 25% of fathers ever do or have done any childcare or housework?

WhenTheDragonsCame · 16/09/2019 19:13

I do 100% of everything but then I'm a lone parent so there isn't anyone else. Before I got divorced my exH was awful in some ways but he would do housework and cook, didn't do a huge amount of childcare though.

I'm pretty sure this isn't the case for the women I know in relationships, they appear much more equal.

formerbabe · 16/09/2019 19:13

I do everything but I don't work.

I imagine if I did work, I'd still do everything Wink

westcountrychicken · 16/09/2019 19:14

I do it all in my house, but only my husband works. I think of it as a pie chart, 50% outside of home and 50% inside.

Two adults in our house so this pie chart is divided in two, it just happens my half is the in the home half and DH's is the outside of the home half. If I went out to work DH would take a little bit of mine and I'd take an equal section of the outside the home pie.

Teddybear45 · 16/09/2019 19:16

DH does more housework and will take on the lions share of the pick ups / drops offs too when baby is born. The problem with these types of surveys is that it’s all anecdotal and a lot of women are shamed into believing they must do the majority of housework and so lie if they don’t. I am probably one of the few in my circle who is honest about how much my DH does