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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

75% of mothers

403 replies

user87382294757 · 16/09/2019 18:56

...do all of the housework and childcare related tasks - no matter how many hours they work outside of this

I was a bit depressed to read this in the Independent newspaper today.

I wondered how mush of this rings true in your experience?

OP posts:
SoyDora · 16/09/2019 21:02

English men aren't very nice, it would appear

My English husband is lovely. That’s why I married him.

WineIsMyCarb · 16/09/2019 21:03

Days when I'm at home with preschoolers:
95% me 5% DH

When Home together
50:50

Days when I'm at work (from home) and him at work in office (commutes)
60:40 to me. But not much overall those days!

How does this household score?

Northernsoullover · 16/09/2019 21:04

I believe it because I did an extended essay on it Grin

snop · 16/09/2019 21:07

Definitely true in this house

RufusthebewiIderedreindeer · 16/09/2019 21:07

My English husband is lovely

Same

pimbee · 16/09/2019 21:08

"English men aren't very nice, it would appear.

What to do?"

Stop marrying and procreating with the shits ones?

cordeliajackson · 16/09/2019 21:10

Grin pimbee

360eyes · 16/09/2019 21:11

Hmm not really true, but I do more cleaning definitely. OH definitely has more time for hobbies. I dont have any!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 16/09/2019 21:11

I do it all but it's an agreement we have as dh works 40 hrs per week and I work 7.5 hours (that's not a typo)

cordeliajackson · 16/09/2019 21:12

If domestic work is not 'work' why do people pay for it?

Monkeyseesmonkeydoes · 16/09/2019 21:13

That’s awful! It’s 50/50 in our house but we’re both women so it’s all a bit more equal in general anyway

NotMyRealName11 · 16/09/2019 21:14

Hmm, not true in my house, but I don't think we have "gender balance" lol. I do all the cooking and most of the cleaning. He does most of the odd jobs, taking bins out, repairs.

However, I would just add that this is mainly because I am a better cook and I enjoy it. If he did the cooking, we would live on a diet of microwave meals and toasted bagels :D

jennymanara · 16/09/2019 21:14
megletthesecond · 16/09/2019 21:16

I believe it.
I'm a LP and look on in horror at the vast majority of couples I know. The women always have more to do. Only two couples I know seem equal.

NotMyRealName11 · 16/09/2019 21:16

P.S. I absolutely don't think it's about English men! My Italian father never did any housework and when my mum died, teenage daughters took over (come to think of it, this is probably why I can cook and clean...).

SoyDora · 16/09/2019 21:17

I do it all but it's an agreement we have as dh works 40 hrs per week and I work 7.5 hours (that's not a typo)

Mine works approx 50 hours per week and I work 0 but I still don’t do it all!

Echobelly · 16/09/2019 21:18

I don't do all of it, but certainly at least 75% of it and all of the emotional labour scheduling stuff. DH does it in fits and starts, but only when he's in the mood for it.

AftonGlen · 16/09/2019 21:19

In my house my partner does most of the cooking, housework and childcare- he is a sahp and I work full time. I try and pick some house work up at the weekend and in the evening I do the bath and bed routine and walk the dog. I feel like I could do more around the house to be honest.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 16/09/2019 21:24

@SoyDora I think it's fair,he parents equally when not at work and does a lot with ds.He has a very physical job.

veryboredtoday · 16/09/2019 21:25

We both work full time and I do most of the childcare, about half of housework (we have a cleaner so not so bad) but 100% of the mental work. My DH thinks he does more because he doesn't include all the jobs that he hasn't even recognised as jobs. Things like packing the school bags, checking h/w is done, sorting out the payment of clubs and the like. He once referred to me taking them to a party as 'off on a jolly' like 2 hours in soft play area is my idea of fun!

Skinnychip · 16/09/2019 21:26

Sadly this is probably true in our house despite my best efforts - DH would disagree because he often cooks food for himself

Merryoldgoat · 16/09/2019 21:26

Not true for me but know plenty where it is.

Hallloumi · 16/09/2019 21:34

it's depressing.
I agree about cycles repeating themselves though. My sisters and I have ended up with men who pull their weight and we had a father who did much more than most men in the 80s (including looking after one of us full time as a small baby). My friends with fathers like him have also ended up with men who do their share. However my friends with more 'traditional' fathers have mostly ended up with men who do very little. So is it more about the women's expectations early on?

cordeliajackson · 16/09/2019 21:35

How much should we charge the lazy blokes, for pregnancy, child birth and 30 years (as yet unpaid) domestic labour.

£100k? £200k £500k?

Could be a fun court case when it arises.

And it will.

Blue7 · 16/09/2019 21:37

I do most of the housework. I work nearly full time locally. He works full time and more but travels. I do no DIY, he does it all. Works for us

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