75% of mothers

[user87382294757]

...do all of the housework and childcare related tasks - no matter how many hours they work outside of this

I was a bit depressed to read this in the Independent newspaper today.

I wondered how mush of this rings true in your experience?

Ooh controversial user but I know what you mean. My dad pegged out some washing for us and DM dashed out immediately to re-peg it, muttering under her breath. I’d give up after 30 years of that.

DH does most of the cleaning; I do most of the cooking.

Currently pregnant (so no child yet!) but I'm the rubbish one in our relationship.

My OH loves to clean (destresses him) so I pick up the hoover maybe once a week as he sorts the rest before I get home from work as he finishes earlier than I do.

Obviously will change when we have a child, but at the moment we are definitely the 25%.

Not true in mine. Dh does about 80% of everything.

I can’t find the article you are referencing OP. Can you please post a link?

I'd like to see the questions that were asked.

I find it hard to believe that 75% of het couples (they aren't including single parents presumably) have a man who NEVER lifts a finger, not wanting a cup, straightening a bed, picking up a toy, taking out the bin etc etc

I mean i know that women do most of the work and it's awful but this stat is silly tbh

I am also struggling to believe the 75%. I only know one couple where that is true. It definitely isn’t in my house- DH does much more than me

Well I’m the only parent in this house so all childcare falls to me (dad non existent for a couple of years now)

I do most of the housework. More than 75%. DCs has chores but I’m inconsistent in enforcing them and sometimes (most times) it’s easier to do it myself. I’m working on that though.

Mostly not true for me, if anything DH does more of the household physical stuff. Although I am the one to organise things like childcare etc. I do most of the strategic stuff while he does most of the doing! I'm not surprised by the stat though, even though it's a real shame.

I also think it’s bollocks. I only know one couple where the DH is next to useless (my best friend and her DH). However even he watches the kids for the odd hour while she goes out/helps with bedtime when he’s around/mows the lawn etc. And within our social circle everyone thinks he’s a lazy arse.

A single parent so I do it all but when I was married istil did it all, as after I'd worked all day,collected DD from nursery then collected DH from work we'd go home and hed fall asleep on the sofa

I work full time during term time, I don’t do 75% of the work but I carry 85-90% of the mental load.

DH is great at pulling his weight as long as I tell him what needs doing. He does no cooking unless I go away overnight but will make sandwiches etc if directed to. He is pretty good with drying and ironing but doesn’t think to put a wash on or sort it so the DC can put their own away. He arranges no childcare but does 3 school drop offs a week.

It is exhausting doing all the thinking all the time.

I probably do 90% childcare and 75% housework. I don't work on top of this and DH works veeeery long hours, so he does a lot when he's here but he's just not here very often!

Nope not true in my household, lots evenly split, and similar with almost all of my friends, most of whom work. Maybe it's different for SAHMs.

I do more than DH but he works longer hours than me. He cooks every night and the kitchen, garden and car are all his to look after. Everything else is me

I do majority of it in our house because I’m here more.
But when DH is here he pulls his weight for sure.
The only thing I always do 100% of is the cooking. I have unfortunately married a man who can’t chop an onion without using every cooking implement in the kitchen He is capable of cooking. He just rearranged the kitchen as he does it and it gets right on my nerves. So I’d rather just do all the cooking myself!

I work FT, DH works PT. I do max 25% of housework/childcare.
When I was SAHM & DH worked FT he did probably 15-20%.

I am a happy slob. It's DH who gets het up about being houseproud.

Couple I know both work FT. She complains that she does 90%, blarblar... I know her husband spends hours driving their kids around places in evenings & weekends. She just conveniently doesn't count that time. She's the one who is fussy about her standards being applied in the home. Her DH just lets her do it her way since his effort would never be good enough.

(Child-free) Friend (female), her husband moved out complaining she didn't do any housework. Later they met up & he eagerly asked "Don't you spend all weekend doing housework now?!" She honestly said no, barely any more at all than she used to. He was so convincd he was doing 90%.

Ohhhhh - it's a survey by Netmums.

Maybe it's a demographic thing then?

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/men-women-parenting-housework-childcare-a9098091.html

I don’t believe this. I do more than my husband (I work part time), most women I know do more. But I don’t know a single man (with the possible exception of my step dad) who does nothing. So no washing up, no laundry, they never empty the bin, or change a nappy, or get the kids dressed or drop them at school? It’s just not realistic. My 6 year old contributes to the housework, I don’t believe that 75% of men do less than my 6 year old.

True here. Mine cooks on some Sundays. If he gets up.
Otherwise nope. He will occasionally notice what needs doing and ask me in puzzled fashion why is it still to be done. He also hoovers about every 8 weeks. Maybe.

Not true in my situation.

But I can't say the same for friends and family.. they'd all say they have a roughly equal relationship yet they're filled with situations where e.g. both parents work full-time yet the dad spends every Saturday indulging in cycling hobby while mum does childcare while doing the family shop. Or a part time working mum while dad works full-time yet the man's role requires little-warning of overnight business trips etc so pretty much all the mental load of family or childcare tasks is on mum. Or in one case, dad has a free reign on where he works yet mum recently had to turn down promotion because the extra commute to sometimes working at another office site meant she can't get back in time for the childcare pickup by 6pm... Which she does every single day even if dad is working from home around the corner!

Not exactly equal yet these are well educated, feminist leaning lefty families who'd swear their setup is fair. And yes, I judge, silently. Because it's not equal. And we should be calling out that for what it is so our sons and daughters aim for better, more dad's seeing their kids and involved in family life, more mum's having opportunities if wanted.

Does that include single mothers? That's the only time I have done it all.

Both exh and my, now, do does at least their fair share.

Dp works less hours than me and does more housework and cooks every week night.

I do most of the childcare (not dps child), but that's because he cant drive and the school is ages away. Its 3 buses, each way (rural) . It's bettwr to drop him myself and use after school club. Dp finishes at 4pm, so ds would go in afterschool club anyway, Plus it would take that long to get back they would be back after me.

It's easier for dp to go home, do dinner for when me and ds get back.

In school holidays we share it and ds goes to my best friends on days we cant be at home.

Not here. I married a grown up who is equally responsible for keeping this place ticking over.

I wonder how many men/fathers do 75% or more of the DIY/gardening/car stuff?

Lots being said about housework and the mental load but running and maintaining a household is more than wiping the kitchen down and remembering birthdays.

Mine is like that. He has changed 4 Nappies ever . We have 2 kids and 1 is 5.
He emptied the bin when I was in long early labour. And cooks on an occasional sunday.my 5 year old definitely does more to help.

I do cars and garden. Walk the dog and paint the fence and take the bins out as well as childcare and housework...