75% of mothers

[user87382294757]

...do all of the housework and childcare related tasks - no matter how many hours they work outside of this

I was a bit depressed to read this in the Independent newspaper today.

I wondered how mush of this rings true in your experience?

[Whoseagooddoggiethen]

Clearly not including us sole parents. I can believe it in some cases though. Im not shocked.

[Mammylamb]

Nah. I’m finding this hard to believe in this day and age. The woman doing the majority in 50% of households maybe. The woman doing 100% in 75% of households I really doubt.

We both work 4 days per week and split childcare and housework 50/:50

[ItsGoingTibiaK]

Assuming it’s the story about the Netmums
survey, the OP has misreported the Independent. What the story actually said was:

“Almost three quarters (74 per cent) of women said they still do the lion's share of the childcare and housework, regardless of working hours or patterns.”

So not all of the housework as the OP said. I can’t find the original survey so can’t comment on the methodology or statistical validity of the claim.

[AmIRightOrAMeringue]

50 50 in our house. Genuinely. And I thought this was the norm until I came on mumsnet.

Childcare is 50 50 (I have one day off a week but he probably does more on the days he is here as gets up earlier)

We have a cleaner and we are pretty manky by mumsnet standards in terms of cleaning towels and bedding and walls (!) which helps.

I do cooking and a bit more tidying, he does gardening (we have a big garden so a lot of work), and all the bigger DIY type jobs (old house so again a fair bit of work), washing is mostly shared, he sorts most of the bills, I do most of the kids activities. Pretty much evens out

[HelpIcantfindaname]

My ex worked very part time hours, he did next to nothing around the house...he didnt even walk his own dog. He didnt do DIY, car maintenance or the garden. He did do the school runs, but when I got home after a full day of work I would play with/do homework with DD...cos he hadn't. I was also responsible for all bills. We are nearly divorced....I've had to sort all of that too.
I now have a fabulous DP. We dont live together but we both muck in with all chores at each other's houses.

[userlotsanumbers]

Not true in my house. He does the lot. I, on the other hand have two jobs and am keeping this ship afloat in that way. Not a chance I'm lifting a finger.

[Strawberrylaceaddict]

True in my house... even though I also work full time.

[Oldbluecarpet]

We’re from the type of families that would be appalled if they knew how much my partner did.

[Catapillarsruletheworld]

I do pretty much 100% of the mental planning. DP only really remembers stuff relating to his car or mobile phone.

I probably do more day to day house work, but he is more likely to clean out the kitchen cupboards etc. I do all the organising of the kids, but I f I tell him where to take them and what time then he will do his share of ferrying about. He normally cooks once or twice a week, but he tidies up after me when I cook, I prefer cooking to tidying anyway.

We don’t have too bad a balance, we both work full time, though his hours are slightly longer than mine.

I find it hard to believe that as much as 75% of women do absolutely everything.

[ItsGoingTibiaK]

I find it hard to believe that as much as 75% of women do absolutely everything.

They don’t. The OP didn’t report the story accurately.

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

I do more of the housework eg cleaning & cooking. But I work 4 days a week & DH does 5. Also DH does a lot of "mental load" stuff, he shops around to renew the utilities and insurances, keeps on top of paying the car tax & organising mots & services, plus he does a lot more in the garden than I do. I don't know anyone under 50 who's husbands/partners doesn't do a pretty decent share

[Greenmarmalade]

Not surprised.
Usually gets worse after the second child is born.

[Swan2019]

True in my house, but he does 100% of the mortgage and bill paying. I feel lucky that I can be at home with my kids and that I never really worry about money. He does all of that. So 75% of house and child care feels like a pretty good deal...🤷‍♀️

[cordeliajackson]

Men need to be charged financially for services we provide.

Sadly, it's all they would understand. Some of them are a little slow.

They will learn.

[Tilltheendoftheline]

@user87382294757 why does your op say ALL if thata not the survey?

[RogueV]

True

[Thehagonthehill]

My ex worked from home.I went back to when DD went to school full time.
He gave her breakfast 3days a week until she was 7 when she got her own.He gave her a light tea 4days and put her to bed 1 day.I did everything else including laying out her uniform ready for the morning,all school stuff,housework.
He called himself a house husband.I would get home to put DD to bed and do all the dish washing from the day.
He cooked,washed up and put DD to bed when people came to stay but after 17 years of marriage he didn't know how to use the hoover.
I have so much less to do now even though I do most of the housework(DD is old enough to help) but DD and I clear up after ourselves.

[weegiemum]

Not true here.

We have a cleaner once s week who does bathrooms, kitchen and all floors. Luckily our dog doesn't shed!

I'm disabled so can't stand for very long. I do laundry, general admin, meal planning and most of the cooking. I'm at home full time

Dh does shopping, through-the-week spot cleaning, bins and recycling.

We have 3 teenagers, 19yo about to move out for uni, 17 and 15 year olds. Between them they look after animals (dog, cat, 2 guinea pigs), do laundry sorting and putting away, and dishwasher, table set/clear etc - sort of stuff you'd expect kids to do. All help with cooking on occasion (I'm teaching them all basic dishes, my condition is progressive and also they need to cook when they leave home!!!)

So really, all quite balanced in this house!

[Tilltheendoftheline]

Men need to be charged financially for services we provide.

This doesnt work if the woman is a sahm or part time worker, when the man is paying all/most of the bills. If you want to say the role of sahm to a transactional act. The man is paying.

[cordeliajackson]

English men aren't very nice, it would appear.
What to do?

[frumpety]

I do everything , except sort out tech stuff ( although I am the one who finds the chargers/remote controls etc ) So cleaning, shopping , anything related to the children other than 2 drops off at school and I have my suspicions that he doesn't even stop , just kind of slows down in front of the school, bins and recycling, decorating, DIY, cleaning the cars, organising servicing etc, I sort our his prescriptions, all the washing and ironing, and packing if he needs to go away for work, gardening and tip runs, holidays I do 99% of the work , although he does pay for our family holiday each year which costs £2,000 for 4 of us in the summer holidays for 2 weeks. I work three long days and he works from home, five 9-5ish days except if he needs to travel. He thinks he is tired, me I am bloody knackered

[RufusthebewiIderedreindeer]

I dont do all the housework...i do a lot but certainly not all

And i dont work much out of the home, and my children are college age

[Whitejasmine]

I do 100% but don’t work. Dh has his own business and works quite long hours but it does piss me off sometimes. He is a great dad though and is good at doing things like running them to sports clubs/matches at weekends which I can’t be arsed with.

[rubyroot]

I work full time and my child has a sahd. So doesn't ring true in my experience. I do a lot if child care at weekends and when I get home, but he pretty much does all the housework. He's not massively thorough, but it's thorough enough for me as I do fuck all 😳

[cordeliajackson]

I am bloody knackered hmm
That would be because you are doing all the work.