Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with previous home owner asking for post in rude manner?

223 replies

Getusedtoit · 15/09/2019 13:36

Ex owner of house couldn't be bothered to pay for Redirection on their post. "Oh Mrs Ex Owner works down the road she'll just pop by occasionally". socially conditioned to be nice I agreed.

We still get post, it's not an onerous task to keep it and pass it on, but I feel slightly uncomfortable when she turns up and wants a small look at our renovations (the house was in a right state when we bought it).

He messaged bluntly earlier this week and I read it, and was composing my response (took a few days), as he'd been abrupt before, and he just sent question marks in a text.

I replied I'd package them up and leave them outside on a day that suited. He hasn't replied.

DH said I missed a trick and should have sent a text back with just four asterisks Grin and then follow message saying I've had enough and everything now would be returned to sender.

I'm torn, it's such a small thing to do to keep receiving post and holding it, but I'm cross at his bluntness. There seems to be still quite important post coming from authorities.

AIBU?

OP posts:
carbuncleonapigsposterior · 15/09/2019 16:39

As others have said, write on envelope "please forward to whatever the address is" I have done it numerous times. I wouldn't want people turning up to collect mail, after 4 years for heaven's sake. Draw a line under this OP, it's his/their problem, the onus should therefore be on them to sort it out.

Timandra · 15/09/2019 16:43

Four years!?!?!

Return everything to sender, not known at this address.

He is a CF!

If they get in touch asking for post just say there is none. No need to explain it's been returned unless you want to.

carbuncleonapigsposterior · 15/09/2019 16:45

Have you not got a forwarding address for him?

Starlight456 · 15/09/2019 16:45

No one should be using your address 4 years after they moved . I would text . You will now be returning all mail rts. I would not be accepting and handling post on from HMRC or dvla.

lostelephant · 15/09/2019 17:03

YABU to be pissed off now over one text (that genrally didn't sound rude, but you're probably an overthinker) after being a total pushover for the past 4 years. Part of my job involves removing addresses from databases when we receive RTS mail, and although it's his responsibility to change his address, it's YOUR responsibility to make sure that YOUR address is not being used incorrectly.

hopeishere · 15/09/2019 17:11

That's just pure laziness not to change address for all that mail though. Is it proper letters or just catalogues and stuff. I'd just bin those. Are you sure he is not continuing to use your address for stuff???

Goingonagondola · 15/09/2019 17:16

OP, do you realise that this could negatively affect your credit rating?

lavenderbluedilly · 15/09/2019 17:16

We had this situation recently after moving house. Piles of letters including ones that looked like payslips and bank statements kept arriving. I kept it for 3 months, then ended up writing on each “no longer lives at this address” and popped it in a postbox. The previous owner turned up a few weeks after that and was most aggrieved that I hadn’t kept it. Now only the odd item arrives, and goes straight into my shredder.

I’m the other hand, we paid for 3 months post redirection when we left our old house - it was fairly cheap in the grand scheme of things and gave me peace of mind we wouldn’t miss anything important.

RollaCola84 · 15/09/2019 17:26

Don't destroy things, return them to sender with "not known at this address", text him to say what you're doing, screen shot it then block him is what I would do.

I had bailiffs letters and then one turn up at my previous house because three years later the previous owner's son still had it listed as his address and passed a bad check !

If you'd said four months or something I'd say just leave things outside in a bag but none of this "when its convenient for you " bollocks ! He sounds like an arse

SingingLily · 15/09/2019 17:26

You have been more than kind, OP, and it's now time to stop. In fact, it's beyond time to stop.

He is still using your address.

If you don't start returning the letters to sender pronto, expect the bailiffs to turn up on your doorstep in three years' time, exactly as other posters have said.

We didn't agree to forward post but kept returning mail to sender for years. The bailiffs still turned up, brandishing a court order. Fortunately, we knew our rights and stood our ground. However, it is not a pleasant situation to have to deal with.

I wouldn't even bother to tell him you are going to do this from now on. Block him - but archive his messages as a record. It will help you when you are fending off the bailiffs on the doorstep.

Ginger1982 · 15/09/2019 17:26

Sorry you're being a right doormat here. When we moved I redirected our mail for 3 months and in that time contacted each company when a letter was redirected advising of our new address. I do have the number for our buyers and in the last year I think she has messaged me three times about letters which I have gone and collected, apologised profusely for and then contacted said sender to amend the address. Now there is nothing she should be getting other than junk.

Four years on it's ridiculous that you are still doing this. You need to say that you are going to be returning any future mail to sender if he can't be bothered sorting it.

I'd be very concerned about HMRC still having him listed at your address!

RollaCola84 · 15/09/2019 17:29

@lavenderbluedilly it's not expensive at all, I paid for it for 3 months when I moved earlier this year and got a handful of items redirected mainly catalogues and things I'd forgotten about but you change your address for the important stuff like work, bank etc.

The people I bought my house from evidently paid for 3 months too as three and half months after I moved I got a letter addressed to their toddler daughter with the mark of our local hospital on. As that could have been important I texted them and arranged to pass it on, anything else will be binned or returned to sender depending on what it is.

Boopeedoop · 15/09/2019 17:30

I used to send post to the solicitor that dealt with the house sale on their side.

RollaCola84 · 15/09/2019 17:30

cheque... I'm not American, wtf did that come from ???? Hmm

LazyDaisey · 15/09/2019 17:57

Start opening everything and calling them with the account details that the person specifically hasn’t lived there for 4 years - and give everyone his mobile number.

It’s NOT ILLEGAL to open someone else’s mail. It’s only illegal if your intent is to use the info you find in the post to defraud.

imnotinthemood · 15/09/2019 18:02

Start opening everything and calling them with the account details that the person specifically hasn’t lived there for 4 years - and give everyone his mobile number.
Don't do that just write RTS on envelopes. Only open the post if no return address . I once years after I moved house got a letter for previous owner . I opened and it was a p45 so I wrote a letter back with the documents that moved out years ago . I only did that because it's a important document . I found it odd that you'd not tell your employer you've moved house .

everyonecaneffoff · 15/09/2019 18:05

I've had this twice before and it was an absolute pain.
The ex-tenant and his wife started getting really arsey when I didn't deliver the post within a couple of days to her workplace. It turned out he was doing some kind of work (probably on the side) and getting cheques and letters sent to my address.
I started putting the stuff in the box with return to sender after months of this and when the wife started hassling me I just said nothing had turned up for them and that they should have done a re-direction.

It happened again and I forward things for a month until I got pissed off and wrote on one of the envelopes "Any post arriving after x date, will be returned to sender" and that's what I did. Heard no more. People are cheeky fuckers that don't want to pay for redirection.

It's best to return to sender. I get concerned about why people are using an old address for things - eg. why do bank statements etc turn up months after people moved out. Surely people contact their bank when moving house?

carlywurly · 15/09/2019 18:46

You're mad op. He could be affecting your credit rating adversely by linking finances to your address. I'd knock this on the head immediately. He could have sorted it in 10 minutes 4 years ago.

There's no way collecting from you could ever be more convenient than just phoning the bank. Hmm

LazyDaisey · 15/09/2019 18:57

“Don't do that”

Why not? He’s purposely not changed his address for 4 years. He sure as fuck will if he realises she’s opening the post and letting his creditors know he’s lying about his address.

MissConductUS · 15/09/2019 18:59

A bit off topic, but I'm surprised that you have to pay to have post redirected. In the US the postal service will do it free for a year, but only because they make a bloody fortune by selling your new address to companies and not for profit organizations that don't want you to miss their mailings.

alwaysmovingforwards · 15/09/2019 19:12

I wouldn't even bother with returning to sender, I'd just chuck it in the recycling.

Timandra · 15/09/2019 20:07

I wouldn't even bother with returning to sender, I'd just chuck it in the recycling.

Is that legal?

imnotinthemood · 15/09/2019 20:09

Because @LazyDaisey it is kinda the ops fault it's dragged on for 4 years . Just RTS at the beginning why make more work by opening post and contacting everyone.

Ginger1982 · 15/09/2019 20:19

@MissConductUS not only do you have to pay for it, you have to pay per surname! So I had to pay extra as I still had some things in my maiden name 🤦‍♀️

lavenderbluedilly · 15/09/2019 20:22

Are you sure Ginger? We paid a flat rate for 3 months and I was able to add my DH for free, though we have different surnames.