Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with previous home owner asking for post in rude manner?

223 replies

Getusedtoit · 15/09/2019 13:36

Ex owner of house couldn't be bothered to pay for Redirection on their post. "Oh Mrs Ex Owner works down the road she'll just pop by occasionally". socially conditioned to be nice I agreed.

We still get post, it's not an onerous task to keep it and pass it on, but I feel slightly uncomfortable when she turns up and wants a small look at our renovations (the house was in a right state when we bought it).

He messaged bluntly earlier this week and I read it, and was composing my response (took a few days), as he'd been abrupt before, and he just sent question marks in a text.

I replied I'd package them up and leave them outside on a day that suited. He hasn't replied.

DH said I missed a trick and should have sent a text back with just four asterisks Grin and then follow message saying I've had enough and everything now would be returned to sender.

I'm torn, it's such a small thing to do to keep receiving post and holding it, but I'm cross at his bluntness. There seems to be still quite important post coming from authorities.

AIBU?

OP posts:
CouscousEvaporator · 15/09/2019 14:13

It’s been a year and the ex-owners of my house still get all their mail sent here, including their children’s school stuff and appointments. It took a while but I finally put my foot down.
Return to sender/bin.

EnglishRose13 · 15/09/2019 14:13

I don't think there's anything wrong with the text. I don't blame you for having had enough of playing post office, though.

nonmerci · 15/09/2019 14:15

Send a text asking them to change their address with whichever companies are still sending mail or pay for redirection. Say any mail you receive from now on will be returned to sender then block their number.

Timandra · 15/09/2019 14:16

I would give them one month from the day you moved in, which should be long enough for them to let everyone know their new address and then just start returning their post 'Not known at this address'.

73Sunglasslover · 15/09/2019 14:16

I wouldn't be unhelpful or rude to him (and I do think that putting a deadline on him collecting mail is a bit officious to tbh) but I'd say that you are worried about losing post in amongst stuff in the house esp with the chaos of renovations and then say that you will redirect all post in the future (to him). Then I'd advise that redirected mail can take a while so if he's getting anything important it's probably best to contact the firms and make sure they have the right address. It's not the biggest deal in the world and not worth making enemies over.

I don't think I'd take offence at the ???? text if you had not responded to a text after a few days. I think that was probably just a bump to make sure you'd seen it. I don't think I'd send such a text but really not worth stressing over.

Chloemol · 15/09/2019 14:17

HOw long have you been doing this. Two months i# more than enough time for him to have advised everyone. Either when you get to two months, or if nowafter two months send a message. Sorry I can’t continue to do this so from xx ( I would give a date in a weeks time) I will bereturn8ng everything not known at this address

Jeezoh · 15/09/2019 14:17

Stop being a doormat, you’re under no obligation to do this. Next time he chases you, suggest he might want to pay for redirection if he’s still hasn’t updated people with his new address. This really isn’t your problem and actually, are you sure he’s not still using your address to get credit etc? I’d stop facilitating him and force him to sort it out.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 15/09/2019 14:17

I don't think there is anything wrong with the text either although obviously you are not obliged to hold his post for him.

I'm amazed that a stranger he asked to pick his post up asked you if they could see the renovations? Did you actually let them?

SirVixofVixHall · 15/09/2019 14:18

They are being very cheeky. If they are missing post they need to inform the senders of their new address , surely ?
I would leave it outside in a plastic box for the next two or three weeks and then either bin or return to sender.
How long has this been going on ?

Cherrysoup · 15/09/2019 14:18

Just block him. He’s rude and entitled. Stick all post back in the postbox with ‘Unknown at this address” on it.

MagneticSingularity · 15/09/2019 14:20

Look, sure they should have changed their address and had mail redirected from the off but you have facilitated this by being ‘nice’ so I can see how he might get a bit impatient that you took 4 days to respond to his text. Tell him you won’t be keeping the mail any more after the end of the month and then block his number so he can’t text or call you any more.

HeadintheiClouds · 15/09/2019 14:22

What does “missing stuff” mean? Is he suggesting you haven’t passed everything on? Just shut this down now, for God’s sake, seriously!!
You’ve assumed responsibility for someone else’s admin.

littlepaddypaws · 15/09/2019 14:24

you said in your opening post he wanted to see what work you'd done round the house, have you shown him ?

christmasbrisket · 15/09/2019 14:25

I can see how he might get a bit impatient that you took 4 days to respond to his text

That's no excuse for sending such a rude message! Good grief.

???? - who writes to someone like that?

christmasbrisket · 15/09/2019 14:28

What does “missing stuff” mean? Is he suggesting you haven’t passed everything on? Just shut this down now, for God’s sake, seriously!!

I know right!!! If you go and live in a different place without having your mail forwarded, it would not be unreasonable to think that you might be "missing stuff" Grin. What did he expect?

Gazelda · 15/09/2019 14:29

How long since you bought the house?

bringonchristmas · 15/09/2019 14:31

Why would you not just redirect your mail?! I don't understand people that do this. Who could even be bothered with constantly contacting someone and picking up mail. The previous tenants and previous owner of my house still have stuff that comes here weekly. It's been 5 years.

You're doing him a favour. Stop doing it. 'Please get your mail redirected as I don't want to collect it anymore.' Block.

Fairenuff · 15/09/2019 14:31

I would say it got put in the recycling by mistake.

Tell him any post will be RTS from now on so that it doesn't happen again.

ButtonMoonLoon · 15/09/2019 14:32

I’d be replying to state that the arrangement is no longer suiting you, therefore any post received from the end of this month will be returned. That should give them enough time to notify people of their new address or set up a redirection.

MarigoldEntwin · 15/09/2019 14:33

I wouldn’t have found that text rude Confused

LazyDaisey · 15/09/2019 14:34

They crossed the line when they wanted to see the inside, not just collect the post.

I wouldn’t put anything out. If she works down the road, drop it at her work doorstep and put a note saying, all future posts will be returned to sender.

That will give them a clear message that they’re not welcome to pop by.

Goingonagondola · 15/09/2019 14:35

I think the text is very rude. She's doing him a favour, he's in the wrong - he needs to say 'Sorry to chase but did you have a day that would suit you for us to pop by for the post?' - basic manners.

But the key question is: How long has it been?

Original poster
Getusedtoit · 15/09/2019 14:37

Apologies. I've just looked back through our message thread and found he did redirect the post. For a fortnight Hmm.

Have been here 4 years in December.

I don't understand the PP's comment about a stranger coming in to look at renovations.

I didn't realise it was unusual to have previous home owner's phone number. We swapped numbers when sake was going through - just civilised behaviour really.

OP posts:
Original poster
Getusedtoit · 15/09/2019 14:38

Five question marks is definitely rude.

Some posters finding it not rude is frankly weird.

OP posts:
bringonchristmas · 15/09/2019 14:38

4 years!!!!!

Swipe left for the next trending thread