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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with previous home owner asking for post in rude manner?

223 replies

Getusedtoit · 15/09/2019 13:36

Ex owner of house couldn't be bothered to pay for Redirection on their post. "Oh Mrs Ex Owner works down the road she'll just pop by occasionally". socially conditioned to be nice I agreed.

We still get post, it's not an onerous task to keep it and pass it on, but I feel slightly uncomfortable when she turns up and wants a small look at our renovations (the house was in a right state when we bought it).

He messaged bluntly earlier this week and I read it, and was composing my response (took a few days), as he'd been abrupt before, and he just sent question marks in a text.

I replied I'd package them up and leave them outside on a day that suited. He hasn't replied.

DH said I missed a trick and should have sent a text back with just four asterisks Grin and then follow message saying I've had enough and everything now would be returned to sender.

I'm torn, it's such a small thing to do to keep receiving post and holding it, but I'm cross at his bluntness. There seems to be still quite important post coming from authorities.

AIBU?

OP posts:
whatsleep · 15/09/2019 15:20

I would be opening HMRC and bank stuff..... probably highly illegal but pretty worrying that they believe he lives at your address. You can then phone and quote reference numbers on the letters and inform them of the date he moved. Like others have said, often return to sender doesn’t register on the system and letters keep coming.

NoParticularPattern · 15/09/2019 15:20

FOUR YEARS?!?!

Jesus. Next time he messages say “nothing here for you. We thought you’d finally sorted your own admin out” and block his number.

Original poster
Getusedtoit · 15/09/2019 15:22

@ElizaDee

"is hard is it to just keep his post and hand it over every so often? Is that really so hard"

Well I answered that in the second paragraph of the OP.

"Not onerous"

Hth Smile

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 15/09/2019 15:22

4 years is ridiculous.

You can just text him and tell him you’re going to return to sender from now on or from x date. The only thing that would give me pause about doing it with little notice is that he probably wouldn’t have a clue who to contact to tell he’s changed address and so you will continue to get all but the most obvious stuff ad infinitum. If you can be arsed and you think he would actually pull his finger out, you might give him six months in order to let him update each sender as he receives it (but include the caveat - providing the volume dwindles).

This suggestion is only as a practical measure for you because, in my experience, just sending bank statements and the like back does nothing to stop them sending more in the future. I even tried calling up Lloyd’s once to tell them they were sending someone’s statements to the wrong place and they said they couldn’t stop sending them unless the account holder contacted them. From a social/ethical perspective YWNBU to dump all his mail in the bin from now on (might not be legal, though).

whatsleep · 15/09/2019 15:23

Also don’t allow him to redirect..... this is just the postman putting his letters through a different door. Doesn’t tell the banks/HMRC that he doesn’t live at your address

newbie222 · 15/09/2019 15:23

stillcoughingandlaughing you are hilarious and totally my kind of person Grin

8misskitty8 · 15/09/2019 15:23

Op start returning to sender now and say he moved out 4 years ago on it. He’s taking the piss after that length of time.

Previous owner still had his finance company registered to our address after 2 years and we were still getting his post so I found him on Facebook and asked him to remove the address and sort his mail.
He denied it and was rude to me and he blocked me.

So I opened a few of his letters (I know it’s frowned upon on here) instead of just returning to sender and one was informing him that debt collectors had been instructed due to him owing thousands on a car loan and he was using our address for car insurance.
I contacted those companies with his new address as I found out from a neighbour.
Post started to stop coming as much.
We do get a savings account yearly statement still as returning to sender is being ignored.

letsdolunch321 · 15/09/2019 15:25

What a cheeky twat !!

I would be texting him, your post will be left outside the house on (whatever date). As of this date all post received for your family will be returned to sender.

Fours years is way too long to be having your post delivered to mine !!!!

Then block the idiot

TheNoodlesIncident · 15/09/2019 15:26

I'm still getting post for our house's previous owners and after five years, I feel justified in putting it in the recycling after all that time of marking it Not At This Address, RTS. If it was important they would have notified their change of address to the company concerned.

FWIW when we've moved house we have always paid for the mail redirection, as it shows which companies have slipped through the net when we've notified of change of address, plus we do not want to put the new owners of the house to inconvenience of having to deal with our post! They've got enough to do, frankly. (And will have to deal with the post of the person who owned it before us, 14 years previously. Can't do anything about that!)

Why are you doing this OP? It's not your problem and the previous owner is being cheeky and annoying for expecting you to sort it out for him. It's his job to deal with this, not yours. I agree with PP suggesting you tell him to do one sort it out himself. You aren't under any obligation whatsoever, he's not your friend or relative even. Take that pissed off feeling and use it to tell him Enough!

combatbarbie · 15/09/2019 15:27

Fuck that! 4 months.... OK.... 4 yrs, erm no, do one and would be telling them that! Give them 7 days to redirect or you are RTS. Lazy sods!

Laiste · 15/09/2019 15:28

Oh my lord i thought you were going to say you'd been doing this for a year or something. And that would have been bad enough!!

OP!!

Tell him it's RTS from Oct 1st. No apologies. No explanations. Then on Oct. 1st block his number and begin the RTS.

There's no point in apologising or explaining because he'll be pissed off about it whatever you say as he's clearly a self centered twat.

UrsulaPandress · 15/09/2019 15:30

I’d be binning it not returning to sender.

mrsbyers · 15/09/2019 15:31

Give them a date and say that after that it will be posted back as not known at this address - just pure laziness if they haven’t changed addresses with anyone important so let them deal with it

Scrumptiousbears · 15/09/2019 15:35

I'd let them have the mail for a few weeks after moving. He could be sending anything to your address. Bank statements and HMRC I'd suggest he doesn't want them knowing where he lives now.

drowningincustard · 15/09/2019 15:36

I would text back "This is the last time I will hold onto your post for you. It will be in a plastic bag on the doorstep. You have had 4 years to inform about your change of address and you have been taking advantage of us in expecting this for so long. Remaining post in your name will be returned to sender"

BlueJava · 15/09/2019 15:36

You're been there four years?! WTAF? Text him to say "Just to let you know we'll be discarding any post that not own own from 1 October 2019. So please get a re-direction service in place". Then bin it. 4 years is frankly bonkers!

AnneElliott · 15/09/2019 15:44

He's massively taking the piss! Previous owners of our house were similar - lots of bank statements and eBay parcels. But refused to give us their new address as they'd not taken all their rubbish away as per the contract.

Our lot haven't even told all their family. A relative sent a handwritten letter declining their wedding invite, but enclosing a cheque as a present with no name on the To line. We could have paid that into our own bank!!!! Luckily relative was much politer than previous owner and sent me a lovely letter back as I'd sent her letter and cheque back to her. We've lived here 6.5 years!

StroppyWoman · 15/09/2019 15:47

Holy mother of god, FOUR YEARS???
For bank and HMRC stuff - that's very, very off.

I'd return it all to sender with "moved from this address Nov 2015" on each one. You do not want any financial chicanery messing with your credit rating, whether it's intentional or not.

bobsyourauntie · 15/09/2019 15:58

FOUR YEARS!! that is complete insane and out of order on his part. He is absolutely taking the piss after 4 years. Whether it is hard work for you or not is completely irrelevant at this point, by the time 4 years have passed, you should only be getting the odd bit of junk mail.

If he is a professional person, he needs to have his address etc up to date with HMRC.

Definitely give him 2 weeks warning and stand firm, don't engage with him at all if he gets funny, and from 1 October just return it all via the Post Office. DO NOT bin it, as that could be illegal. The Post Office have labels that they just stick on the envelopes.

Drum2018 · 15/09/2019 16:04

Text him back. 'As it's been 4 years since you moved out you have had plenty of time to contact everyone to advise them of your new address. Any further mail which is received here and is not for us will be returned to sender. I'm sure you understand.' Then block him.

FinallyHere · 15/09/2019 16:06

Four years later ...

still getting bank statements and HMRC and Professional Society letters

Not much to understand, they have not provide their new address. For whatever reason ...

The sooner you start returning to sender sender the better.

Bookworm4 · 15/09/2019 16:07

You can hand the mail back to postman/woman, I done it for awhile after I moved into current home.
Mystified why people don’t change things like hospital appointments that kept coming out 🙄

Inertia · 15/09/2019 16:26

After that length of time he might well be up to some kind of dubious financial business. I'd return everything to sender.

MulticolourMophead · 15/09/2019 16:29

The fact he is missing (expecting) stuff shows he is deliberately still using your address...

Likely, yes. I have post for the previous tenant and I know someone who can pass it on. It's a pain for her (the intermediary) as well as me, so passing on the last lot with the comment I'm now returning to sender.

It's been over a year, time to have it sorted now.

MatildaTheCat · 15/09/2019 16:34

Can't understand why we're still getting bank statements and HMRC and Professional Society letters. It's lazy on his behalf

We are still getting post, including speeding fines and letters from the police regarding an offence he reported earlier this year, 17 years after buying our house. It’s unlikely to be anything other than dodgy that he continues to imply he owns your property.

I wouldn’t reply any more, return stuff to sender and bin the rest. CFs.

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