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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with previous home owner asking for post in rude manner?

223 replies

Getusedtoit · 15/09/2019 13:36

Ex owner of house couldn't be bothered to pay for Redirection on their post. "Oh Mrs Ex Owner works down the road she'll just pop by occasionally". socially conditioned to be nice I agreed.

We still get post, it's not an onerous task to keep it and pass it on, but I feel slightly uncomfortable when she turns up and wants a small look at our renovations (the house was in a right state when we bought it).

He messaged bluntly earlier this week and I read it, and was composing my response (took a few days), as he'd been abrupt before, and he just sent question marks in a text.

I replied I'd package them up and leave them outside on a day that suited. He hasn't replied.

DH said I missed a trick and should have sent a text back with just four asterisks Grin and then follow message saying I've had enough and everything now would be returned to sender.

I'm torn, it's such a small thing to do to keep receiving post and holding it, but I'm cross at his bluntness. There seems to be still quite important post coming from authorities.

AIBU?

OP posts:
CrackersDontMatter · 15/09/2019 14:39

FOUR YEARS?? Oh OP You've got to stop. What an absolute ballache! Give them this last lot and tell them they need to make other arrangements.

bringonchristmas · 15/09/2019 14:40

Bloody hell op after 4 years I'd block him and not even respond. Return to sender or bin it!

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 15/09/2019 14:41

that row of ????? would make me furious and I'd have fucked him off for that.

Set fire to his bastarding post and keep the ashes in a bag for him. Twat!

:o

Goingonagondola · 15/09/2019 14:42

FOUR. YEARS?!

I nearly replied ????? to that!

You need to stop this right now. Text him and say it's now been a long time and any mail will be marked return to sender.

Alaimo · 15/09/2019 14:42

I'd send a text with just question marks to a friend, or maybe if I'm the person doing someone else a favour, but definitely not if I'm asking someone else to do me favour!

Oh, and 4 years? Tell them any post received after 1 October will be returned to sender. 4 years is the height of CFery.

AskMeHow · 15/09/2019 14:42

FOUR YEARS?!

Just stop it now. Text back to say from October you will be returning everything to sender.

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 15/09/2019 14:42

and he is "missing stuff"...implying you have taken it or something...man alive I am fizzing on your behalf.

LuvSmallDogs · 15/09/2019 14:43

Just bin it, it's what I do after three years. I used to have the previous tenant's number and ring (they don't have a mobile) to arrange for someone to come and get it. I decided to "lose" the number after the wife got quite stroppy with me for not being able to wait in at their convenience. Should've told them to redirect from the start!

Original poster
Getusedtoit · 15/09/2019 14:43

Ahha. My maths is wrong.

Had a text from him January 2017 saying Redirect lapsed. So he'd done it for a year. As we moved in Christmas 2015.

Can't understand why we're still getting bank statements and HMRC and Professional Society letters. It's lazy on his behalf

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 15/09/2019 14:44

Do you know their new address? Make sure the local council know, suggesting that they could be avoiding council tax, and perhaps HMRC as if they cannot manage basic admin, they could be careless with something such as their tax matters.

And return everything to sender, and call the police next time they are on your doorstep.

ButtonMoonLoon · 15/09/2019 14:45

OMG 4 years is ridiculous!
Definitely give him no more than til the end of the month.
A precious occupants of our home did this, except with no prior agreement for me to forward on, he kept turning up every month or so asking for post. After the third visit I told him anything else would be returned to sender, unless he left me a stamped, addressed A4 envelope in which case I’d forward stuff for a few more weeks.
He wasn’t happy. A month later a friend of his turned up at 9pm demanding post. Then a load of DVLA stamped stuff came-it turned out he had been registering dodgy vehicles at my address.
So ditch this very one sided pisstake of an arrangement ASAP

HeadintheiClouds · 15/09/2019 14:46

They could even be using your address for school admission purposes, op... 4 years Hmm

JumpyLiz · 15/09/2019 14:46

Fuck that. Start binning it and if they push it say “oh thought you’d updated your address, not had anything for a while”

Soon2BeMumof3 · 15/09/2019 14:47

4 years?!?!? Good grief! That's ludicrous.

They are absolute CFS. Tell him this is the last time, and everything will be marked RTS from now on. You hope he's found time in the last four bloody years to update his postal address with his various correspondents.

And then block them! My goodness.

Maryann1975 · 15/09/2019 14:48

I can’t believe you have let this go on for that length of time! Send a message back to say that any mail received after 1st October will be returned to sender or destroyed. They have taken the piss massively!

QueenieMum · 15/09/2019 14:49

You say you can't understand why you're still receiving their post. I do - you're making it so easy for them that they don't have to bother. They should have used the redirection period to change addresses but didn't and that isn't your problem. Set a deadline, stick to it and move on. No pun intended Grin

ChickenyChick · 15/09/2019 14:49

The bank statements and hmrc is not just foolish, it is dangerous for you

Our previous owner did this.

So after a bit, we had all these bailiffs, even court orders (!!!!) sent to this address. Bunch of heavies waiting in a car outside our drive, jumping out saying” Mrs Previous-owner! Your husband owes us some money!!!” Bloody intimidating. And bailiffs tried to take our car!

You don’t want him to use your address (your home) for his loan applications. Stop de madness now.

Return-to-sender EVERYTHING from now on.

Kill your kindness Grin

Please

DontCallMeBaby · 15/09/2019 14:50

Four years! Everything else is irrelevant then, that’s ridiculous. We’ve been in our house five years, I’ve been getting pissed off with getting the previous owners’ post for at least 3.5 years, and that’s with them never even asking me to send or pass it on, just the irritation of returning to sender.

zebra22 · 15/09/2019 14:51

4 years!

Return to sender - I can’t believe you have been doing it this long

Illberidingshotgun · 15/09/2019 14:52

Crazy length of time! Any post for him just put return to sender on it and put in back in the box. Then each time he asks you can legitimately tell him that you don't have any of his post (as you won't do, any more...) He's just being ridiculously lazy.

ChickenyChick · 15/09/2019 14:52

The fact he is missing (expecting) stuff shows he is deliberately still using your address...

TonTonMacoute · 15/09/2019 14:55

After four years I would definitely be telling him to fuck off to the far side of fuck.

DotBall · 15/09/2019 14:55

4 years?! You’re a mug. I agree with past posters saying give a cut off date e.g. 1st Oct and that anything after that will be RTS.

We had the odd Christmas card turn up for the previous owners for the first two or three years but nothing else as they’d had a redirect for a year (we also had a year’s redirect).

chocorabbit · 15/09/2019 14:56

That's what laywers are there for, OP. So you have no contact with the vendors or have to exchange numbers. Ours saw relatives on the street and tried to talk them through about keep his tenants in until the last moment but both EA and lawyer refused. He still blamed us for losing rental money.

Just say "I am afraid we can't help you anymore as it's gone on for such a long time! We do have lots of junk cluttering our entrance btw!"

The2Ateam · 15/09/2019 14:57

I’m just surprise by how many people giver their number their vendor/buyer!

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