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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with previous home owner asking for post in rude manner?

223 replies

Getusedtoit · 15/09/2019 13:36

Ex owner of house couldn't be bothered to pay for Redirection on their post. "Oh Mrs Ex Owner works down the road she'll just pop by occasionally". socially conditioned to be nice I agreed.

We still get post, it's not an onerous task to keep it and pass it on, but I feel slightly uncomfortable when she turns up and wants a small look at our renovations (the house was in a right state when we bought it).

He messaged bluntly earlier this week and I read it, and was composing my response (took a few days), as he'd been abrupt before, and he just sent question marks in a text.

I replied I'd package them up and leave them outside on a day that suited. He hasn't replied.

DH said I missed a trick and should have sent a text back with just four asterisks Grin and then follow message saying I've had enough and everything now would be returned to sender.

I'm torn, it's such a small thing to do to keep receiving post and holding it, but I'm cross at his bluntness. There seems to be still quite important post coming from authorities.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Marnie76 · 15/09/2019 14:57

Text him. ‘As of 1 November Any post coming here will be sent back, it’s been four years and I’m concerned that people still have the wrong information on who is living at this address’
Enter into no more correspondence with him. He has over a month to make sure everything is changed so you are (and have already been) more than accommodating.

Marnie76 · 15/09/2019 14:58

And don’t say ‘I hope that is ok’ or any other niceties

IAmALazyArse · 15/09/2019 15:00

Bloody hell! I would have told him to bugger off after a year max.
Start sending it back and block him

Lazypuppy · 15/09/2019 15:00

You've been doing this for 4 years??!?!!

CoinOperatedBoy · 15/09/2019 15:01

Lady who lived here previously has all her kids NHS letters still arrving. I do NOT understand why you wouldn't sort this out ASAP. I've been saving them all up for her in case she shows up!

ElizaDee · 15/09/2019 15:03

I don't think his text was rude. It was rude to take days to respond though, so I don't blame his ?????.

His hard is it to just keep his post and hand it over every so often? Is that really so hard 🙄

IAmALazyArse · 15/09/2019 15:04

In of the flats, we used to get SO MUCH mail for previous tenant. Anything from marketing to DVLA, HMRC, what looked like bank statements and fines.
I called EA about it he said, send it back as RTS.
I did so.
Moths gone by, seasons changed and we were still recieving same amount of mail!
So I started binning it. Withing 3 months all mail stopped.

IAmALazyArse · 15/09/2019 15:05

@CoinOperatedBoy because when you move you have to usually move to different GP surgery.😉 I got booted of mine after I moved

Marnie76 · 15/09/2019 15:05

ElizaDee - it’s been four years!!!!
He is misleading people about where he has been living

usernamexox · 15/09/2019 15:06

@ElizaDee
Clearly you don't understand the financial implications to the new ( of 4 years) owner, otherwise you wouldn't have posted such an ignorant statement.

gamerchick · 15/09/2019 15:08

His hard is it to just keep his post and hand it over every so often? Is that really so hard

It's not hard but it's extremely irritating as well as a risk if the person has debt they're not paying. Only an extremely cheeky fuck would take the piss like that.

Redirect your mail, it's not hard.

Spam88 · 15/09/2019 15:08

Four years??? Jesus Christ. Just start returning to sender. I wouldn't even bother telling him you're going to start doing it after a certain date (because I hate confrontation). Not having changed their address with banks and professional societies is ridiculous.

CoinOperatedBoy · 15/09/2019 15:11

It's something that would peev me right off to be honest.

If me as a stressed, heartbroken single mum dealing with a sick kid needing surgery and a whole new house/bills set up, change of schools can get all my mail redirected/address changed on everything important the week I moved - they can do it after four years.

I wouldn't even expect this of friends or family. It's just lazy.

heath48 · 15/09/2019 15:11

He has your phone number!!!! You NEVER do that!! That is why you have a Solicitor.

You really are a mug,block his number and return post from now on.

AhNowTed · 15/09/2019 15:12

FOUR YEARS!!

Did he not write to ANY supplier, bank, HMRC etc.

Ridiculous.

LuvSmallDogs · 15/09/2019 15:12

ElizaDee, I think it's actually quite intrusive to make someone else you don't even know responsible for your post (which may be very important) and expect them to spend credit/minutes/texts arranging to stay in for you. It's one thing a few bits slipping the net if you've just moved and the post office has fluffed the redirection, but this is a massive pisstake.

SweetMarmalade · 15/09/2019 15:12

4 years! Shock

I’d be worried why he’s still having what seems like important post sent to your house.

Definitely do what a pp suggested. I’d text stating that from ‘insert date’ you will be returning post as nla this address! So could he please make sure post is redirected from that date!

BatshitBertha · 15/09/2019 15:12

Send him a text 'Dear X, I've been keeping your post for 4 years, this has been more than enough time for you to sort change of addresses. Anything that arrives for you from now on will now be returned to sender'

Then get yourself one of these and return everything to sender.

4 years us ridiculous!

To be pissed off with previous home owner asking for post in rude manner?
imnotinthemood · 15/09/2019 15:13

You should not still be getting post 4 years later , Junk mail maybe but not bank letters etc.
When I moved into my house NDN said pass the post to us we know the previous tenant. We agreed I'm not sure why I never even met them as they had moved before we bought . Anyway we did this for a few weeks and then I started doing RTS and posting back . Cf ex Tennant knock on one day and asked for post . No hi I used to live here thanks very much for returning my post have you got any ?. It was have you got my post . I said no I've RTS she stormed off all huffy . I stopped getting post not long after . Some people are entitled cf and you need to say no . I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't tell the bank etc why moved and I certainly wouldn't ask new tenant to keep my post .

sandyfoot · 15/09/2019 15:14

Do not let anyone use your address for financial stuff. Send anything back to sender with NO LONGER AT THIS ADDRESS written on it. He's a cheeky fucker.

CoinOperatedBoy · 15/09/2019 15:14

Oooo I'd get immense pleausure out of stamping that down onto his letters Grin do it OP!!

snowballupahill · 15/09/2019 15:16

This isn’t unreasonable. I’ve recently sold the family home mid divorce where I was living and constantly had to drop off STBXH mail. I have re-directed mine but suspect he hasn’t done it. He certainly didn’t bother when he moved out initially let alone sold. I think a re-turn to sender is perfectly valid - suggest he organises a re-direction if he doesn’t it’s not your problem !

gavisconismyfriend · 15/09/2019 15:17

is it possible something dodgy going on - 4 years is a long time to have important information going to another address!

londontaxi · 15/09/2019 15:17

Just block the number and that's the end of it. I did similar and blocked their number after 3 years. Didn't want to be their PA. I usually return post to sender so the mailer can stop sending the mail to my address.
if they ever bump in to you/ knock at your door and mention it you can just say you lost their number and since then all post has been returned to sender and you've no mail for them (Hence no need to swap number again).

CoinOperatedBoy · 15/09/2019 15:18

To be honest I'd probably not even do that because I don't have the time to be dragging my arse to the post box every time he gets a letter.

I'd probably tell him to get all his important stuff redirected. And after a week I'd start shredding them.