14 year old in a size 24. AIBU to think her mum should do something ?

[Sweetpeach3]

Just read an article in the paper that a girl age 14 is in a size 24 clothes an can't get a uniform to fit her. She's medically healthy just clearly a bad relationship with food. Her mum isn't slim either from the pictures.
AIBU as a mother to think her mum should be trying to encourage her daughter to eat better and not be as big as it isn't healthy what so ever in the long term of things also the name calling etc it isn't a nice thing. Been a big girl isn't an issue I just think a size 24 is rather large for a 14 year old....
My brother is 25 stone at 30 and he's constantly in hospital with problems linked to his weight and it's awful to watch - his wife is a big feeder to him. He was a slim athletic rugby player before he met her then he just spiralled. We've tried to get him to fat club etc. He lasted a week an left as she didn't want to do it. She's also very big. It's a viscous circle because it's easy to put on and hard to shift !

I just personally think as a mum you would want better for your daughter at this age specially

Why are you all discussing a 14 year old girl in this way? Did anyone watch the Jesy Nelson documentary the other day?

You can’t even compare the two. This girl is incredibly overweight and is putting her health at serious risk. Jesy was trolled and told to kill herself, chop her head off etc. Nobody is saying that about this girl- they’re only stating the facts. They’re not insulting her or writing abuse

Who went to the paper? Her mum moaning about not being able to get a uniform in a size 24 for a child?

Why would her mum put her obese 14 year old daughter in the media like that? She obviously KNEW what would happen. Whoever published it should be ashamed too. Was it the faily fail by any chance?

thefairycaravan It sounds as if the mother wouldn't recognise if there was an eating disorder or other underlying issue. The mother is irresponsible, the newspaper are irresponsible and the school sound as if they are also letting her down. There needs to be a multi disciplinary meeting as a matter of urgency. I am also detecting a tone from some posters that would not be there if the child was underweight or the family disfunction was manifesting in a different way.

Where's her dad? It's all a woman's fault.

First of all, poor lass. She shouldn't be plastered all over the press like this. A parent's job is to protect their child, not embarrass them.
Secondly, I've had a quick look, and in the pictures it looks as if she's got on regulation sweater and blazer, with school logos. If they do these in bigger sizes, then surely they can do the skirt too? Because, she needs something to wear now. She needs to be at school (or educated in some way). Yes she can lose weight, but she can't not go to school/be in isolation until she can fit into the regulation garb. The issue seems to be that the skirt isn't pleated. Really, who gives a shit?
Thirdly. That poor lass. I really feel for her.

As pp says, she's been failed by every single adult in her life. 14 year olds, while grown up in many ways, are still, very much, at the mercy of the grown ups around them.

I personally think it’s tantamount to child neglect/abuse just like starving a child is

^

Yes.

I think it's a lot more difficult to tell when a child is underweight due to starvation vs hugely overweight children that you see eating a KFC.

In the summer when my boys play in the fountains I'm always surprised by how tiny and skinny some of the kids are and there's no way they are all being starved!

I do know that certain medical conditions can make it a lot easier for kids to gain weight. But can a child medically get bigger and bigger by themselves, with a healthy, controlled, carefully monitored diet?

Not sure why people feel qualified to comment - scant basis for making assumptions/judgments based on the article.

Outrageous that she should be put in isolation and denied the opportunity to learn with her peers. In my experience, schools make a huge fuss about uniform at the beginning of each school year and are far more relaxed about enforcing rules as the year goes on. The school at the very least should allow time for a replacement skirt to be found.

I've just googled the article and absolutely agree with other pp.
It should be classed as neglect and abuse!
And mum knows she failed at her duty to care for her child wellbeing and that's why she is lashing out at school. If this is normal behaviour it will just teach the girl that everything is everyone else's fault, not mum's.

You think every, single adult in her life should have a hand in her diet and exercise regime @Jeremybearimybaby? Can you imagine the howls of outrage if they did? "MiL telling me I feed my dd too much - AIBU to tell her to fuck off?" "AIBU to think that it's not the school's job to dictate what my child has for lunch?"

It is our duty to not add fuel to the fire by highlighting this child's plight. I can not believe her mother has publicised this situation and exposed her dd to all this judgement and scrutiny.

A quiet visit to a nutritionist, perhaps some counselling to uncover WHY she is over eating may have been a better course of action.

I'd like to see this thread taken down, as I am not sure what good it will do. Poor kid.

My friends children got massive, her daughter was a size 24/26 at 14/15 and her son was in a 5 or 6 xl top and 50 waist trousers at school. Often really obese children grow really tall as well and both of these children were well over 6 foot.The lad was about 6'4 and the girl 6'2 ish.
My friend struggled to find any clothes at all to fit her son and she had to go to Mr High and Mighty.As a result of this he only had a couple of pairs of jeans as they were so expensive and they kept having to have patches put on etc because they wore out really quickly.
She really struggled with getting him a winter coat, she just couldn't get anything to fit him. Her daughter got clothes from Etam, she was bullied horrendously at school.
The children used to have fridges in their bedrooms, eat and drink whatever, whenever and eat things like a roast dinner on a night and a big pizza from the freezer for their lunch each.
Telling people who get like this just to cut down is no good,they need proper professional support and encouragement.

scant basis for making assumptions/judgments based on the article.

What basis do you need to decide that a parent who lets their child get to a size 24 by the age of 14 is irresponsible and should be held accountable. Her comment that her daughter was medically healthy speaks volumes about how little a problem she sees in what she has done to her.

No one is giving her abuse or anything so please readers don't compare this to the girl from little mix. She was trolled and told to kill herself etc and she wasn't over weight but this is what I'm saying. Look at the abuse she got an she was nothing to the size of that girl. We're just saying someone needs to help her and we're concerned as it is far from good for her an everyone so far has let her down. This is NOT abuse

Mother (and possibly Father but he is not in the article) has neglected her child and further humiliated her by going to the papers.

I just saw the article.

The whole issue is wrong on many levels. The mum (and dad, if he's on the scene) is guilty of abuse and shame on her for making this story public. If her 14-year-old has been allowed to become morbidly obese and is a size 24, she shouldn't be in the care of these parents without major intervention and support.

There is no way a “heathly” child should be that big and I’m dam sure if she had a medics issue the mother would of sure made well sure it was printed. This is child abuse.

When my dos was a lot younger he was classed as underweight. I had to attend numerous hospital dietician appointments. At the school sports day I saw at least 3 reception children who were huge, one had to roll over to go from sitting to standing? Their parents said they were chunky: why were they not under the dieticians and hospital like my child was?

I had a school friend who was very overweight and her mother would serve a mountain of fried chips and fishfingers as a snack. She had to start cooking herself at 14 in order to lose weight. The school is pretty shit to humiliate the girl further by isolating her. She's tried to find a decent alternative.

SmileCheese
You have no idea why and how the girl has become the size she is. You also have no clue what measures have been attempted or are in place to address her weight.

Supermarkets. Went to our local Morrisons yesterday. Vast. Aisles of crap. People wandering with huge trolleys, like zombies on a day out, on Mogadon, mindlessly chucking in stuff. Fat parents with fat kid waddling around. Food as anaesthetic. Feeding so much a priority that in the end, at a very young age people have disconnected from Life, from being able to move quickly and easily. Thought leading effortlessly to physical action. From how it feels to be Hungry. It is very sad. I speak as an ex fat person. I was thin, then put weight on, so I at least had the memory of being thin to motivate me. If children grow up fat that is their normal. Fat families should be sent to joy-packed life-affirming boot camp.

It’s appalling. That poor girl look 20 years older than she is and probably feels 40 years older than she is. The strain that extra weight is putting on her joints and heart will be immense. She needs quite urgent help. The school have let her down but her parents have let her down in a far bigger way.

@Bobbindobbin Because being underweight can be indicative of an underlying health condition that needs diagnosing and treating whilst being overweight in childhood is almost always due to over feeding and under exercising and doesn't kill you til later in life.