14 year old in a size 24. AIBU to think her mum should do something ?

[Sweetpeach3]

Just read an article in the paper that a girl age 14 is in a size 24 clothes an can't get a uniform to fit her. She's medically healthy just clearly a bad relationship with food. Her mum isn't slim either from the pictures.
AIBU as a mother to think her mum should be trying to encourage her daughter to eat better and not be as big as it isn't healthy what so ever in the long term of things also the name calling etc it isn't a nice thing. Been a big girl isn't an issue I just think a size 24 is rather large for a 14 year old....
My brother is 25 stone at 30 and he's constantly in hospital with problems linked to his weight and it's awful to watch - his wife is a big feeder to him. He was a slim athletic rugby player before he met her then he just spiralled. We've tried to get him to fat club etc. He lasted a week an left as she didn't want to do it. She's also very big. It's a viscous circle because it's easy to put on and hard to shift !

I just personally think as a mum you would want better for your daughter at this age specially

"AIBU as a mother to think her mum should be trying to encourage her daughter to eat better and not be as big as it isn't healthy what so ever in the long term of things also the name calling etc it isn't a nice thing."
The mother shouldn't have allowed her daughter to reach that weight in the first place. She has abdicated her responsibility towards her DD and neglected her needs. She is responsible for not having reared her child with good eating habits. She has failed her. I doubt the mother's 'encouragement' will help now (especially as she is noticeably overweight herself). She needs more help than that.

Somebody, whether it be the GP or School should also have intervened to stop this from happening.

"Been a big girl isn't an issue I just think a size 24 is rather large for a 14 year old..."
Being a big girl is an issue. Do you really believe size 24 is "rather large"? Are you scared the PC brigade will jump on you on this forum?

Size 24 is obese for any female yet alone a 14 year old.

CrystalShark Which bit are you referring to in that article which relates to the girl?

Lyralalala
Thank you for what you’ve posted. It’s both outrageous and heartbreaking that children are abandoned in this way. You’re absolutely right about where the ire should be directed.

I read the article too and was actually surprised that the daily fails comments were so restrained a size 24 at 14 years of age is huge, she is supposedly medically healthy at that weight according to her mum. Not for bloody long!

Losing weight and changing habits is not going to happen overnight and will take their whole family getting involved but it can be done.

I really hope the mum wises up and starts facing reality because her daughters size is a lot to do with her, being big boned is very different to being obese!

On the uniform front the school are being ridiculous as a grey skirt of appropriate length is not unreasonable.

It's the length and material of the skirt the school object to.

They are working with the family to find a reasonable alternative that fits the policy.

Uniform is a grey pleated skirt down to knees. The skirt worn is mid thigh and jersey cotton.

The mum is not as severely over weight.

The issue here is a child who is morbidly obese and needs support of adults around her to address the issues. As much as the school skirt is probably adding to her feelings - I'm not sure allowing someone a skirt of shorter length due to weight is productive for any pupil.

Why do parents even let their child get like this?

Bloody hell, that is terrible.

I felt bad for the girl. She's massive, probably gets picked on at school for it, and has huge issues with her health despite what her mum thinks. She's probably diabetic or will be soon, will have heart conditions, joint issues and more the longer this goes on. And all her mum seems to care about is a skirt and denies it all about her health, thinking she is medically healthy. She has no hope in that situation.

What about the UK kid who went blind from a diet of fries, crisps, cold cuts and white bread. Apparently wasn't obese but a lifetime of poor nutrition left him blind.

www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20190903/teens-fussy-junk-food-diet-leaves-him-blind

The mum is one Facebook and has been commenting on this story on there saying she’s not even that big. The article got it wrong and she’s really only a size 14, although if that were true she wouldn’t be struggling to find a skirt to fit, so she sadly seems blind to the problem and be doing nothing to solve it. Very sad situation.

That just makes it worse ImagineRainbows. The girl is definitely not a size 14. I'm a 16 and am smaller than her by a lot. The mum needs to face up to reality before the girl is in even more trouble health wise.

The mum is in serious denial then and will be a huge part of the problem. They both need help.

I think rather than denial, mum realised she fucked up and is trying to calm it down.
If the poor girl is size 14, I am 10...

The mum is in denial. The school blazer goes up to a size 20. It's clearly what she's wearing.

The school skirts go up to 38" waist for the ones the school have.
The school skirts also come with different lengths to allow for height differences but all the larger sizes are 22" length.

It's irrelevant what she wore last year as school changed uniform policy in sept.

It's the poor girl I feel sorry for. Parents are so quick to go to media without any thought of how it will affect their children.

The official school skirt may not fit but there are plenty of better alternatives available that meet policy.

I am interested in the chips boy going blind- there is clearly far far more to the story (maybe it’s not even accurate?) but I don’t understand why he wasn’t just taking a multi vitamin (the article said the blindness was caused by lack of certain vitamins) I mean it wouldn’t have made his diet ok but might’ve saved his sight

@ImagineRainbows maybe she shouldn't have allowed pictures of her splashed all over the national press anyone can see that the girl is not a size 14.

Sometimes I just despair at some of the examples of "parenting" that are out there

Ours go up to 38" too and start at kid sizes. At size 24 38" may not be big enough though so perhaps the uniform shop should get one specially made and bear the cost themselves as they make money from entire schools having to buy skirts from them so need to be able to kit everyone out.

I listened to a radio discussion about weight misleading doctors- as far as I’m aware the boy had sensory issues around food hence the diet, but despite it being so bad, he remained at a normal BMI so the doctors weren’t actively looking for health issues caused by the diet. Conversely, women who are overweight suffer from health problems are prone to suffering for longer as they are told to go and lose weight before anything else is looked at as a cause.

@IAmALazyArse If the poor girl is size 14, I am 10...

She doesn't say she's a 14. They openly discuss her being a size 24. She's age 14.

@cricketmum84 anyone can see that the girl is not a size 14.

No-one has said she is. She's age 14.

@CardsforKittens Thank you for what you’ve posted. It’s both outrageous and heartbreaking that children are abandoned in this way. You’re absolutely right about where the ire should be directed.

It is. It's ridiculous that you have children and families asking, and begging, for help and it's simply not there as services have been cut to the bare bones.

I guess it's easier to just sit in judgement and say that someone should do something

I think until you are in the situation folks just don't see how little help there it. And I was in the situation that my teen was crying out for help - I can only imagine how difficult it is if they weren't.

Plus if you go down the abuse/neglect road it's baffling to see people supporting a school punishing a child for the action of a parent they see as abusive or neglectful. How that helps a child in that situation I'll never know!

I used to work in a shop with a girl who was already size 20+ in her teens. All the family members I saw we're also massive. She's in her early 20s now, and bigger than ever. She looks older than she is and walks oddly, I think the weight has affected her gait so she has to swing her legs while rocking side to side. It's grim, tbh.

Took me 2 minutes on google to find this

www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/magisculpt-ponte-pencil-skirt/nc612/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=9063#colour:Black/Marl,size:24

Far more suitable and within policy guidelines.
I'm sure a longer search would throw up even better solutions.

Would have been quicker than the time it took to go to the media and ruin your dd privacy

Lyra read the thread. Mum is now on FB saying the paper quoted it wrong and she's a size 14 - not the 24 printed

How would that help? She is required to have a regulation pleated skirt from the school shop

Is eat less move more ignorant? I don’t think anyone would say it’s easy, but in essence, that’s what’s needed. Fewer calories.

There might be complex reasons why socially, psychologically, economically, that’s difficult for this family, but it doesn’t mean she’s obese for any other reason than excess calories. The treatment is the same. Even surgery is just a tool to restrict calorie intake.

I too believe this is a form of child neglect - it causes serious harm to a child's health. I recently saw a child a good bit younger than this, maybe 9/10 and wearing a grey woman's dress that was so obviously not a child's uniform, in a very large size, and guessed it must be for the same reason, that she was too big for a child's size. She was wearing it with polo shirt, knee socks etc, was obviously her 'uniform'. Heartbreaking stuff.