14 year old in a size 24. AIBU to think her mum should do something ?

[Sweetpeach3]

Just read an article in the paper that a girl age 14 is in a size 24 clothes an can't get a uniform to fit her. She's medically healthy just clearly a bad relationship with food. Her mum isn't slim either from the pictures.
AIBU as a mother to think her mum should be trying to encourage her daughter to eat better and not be as big as it isn't healthy what so ever in the long term of things also the name calling etc it isn't a nice thing. Been a big girl isn't an issue I just think a size 24 is rather large for a 14 year old....
My brother is 25 stone at 30 and he's constantly in hospital with problems linked to his weight and it's awful to watch - his wife is a big feeder to him. He was a slim athletic rugby player before he met her then he just spiralled. We've tried to get him to fat club etc. He lasted a week an left as she didn't want to do it. She's also very big. It's a viscous circle because it's easy to put on and hard to shift !

I just personally think as a mum you would want better for your daughter at this age specially

I'm surprised she hasn't been referred by GP, Social Services, School Nurse, etc (it would be a multi-disciplinary team for a complex case as this) for NHS weight management, dietitian services.

I personally think it’s tantamount to child neglect/abuse just like starving a child is

I 100% agree. There is also no way you can be medically healthy at 14 when you are 24 stone!

Just read the same article and was going to post about it myself.

I'm not slim by any stretch of the imagination but I just can't understand how a child can be a size 24-26 by the age of 14.

And how damaging for her that her mum takes this to national press. The comments on the news article are awful and are going to damage her so much if she reads them, and that's before the cruel comments from school kids who have seen this.

The mum needs to take a long hard look at herself. And start addressing the poor kids relationship with food instead of publicly humiliating her. I wonder how much she got paid for selling her story?

That's neglect, no 14 year old should be that size. Children's clothes by age or height are already very generous, a 14 year old should be in children's sizes or regular women's sizes, not plus sizes.

Starving your dc and overfeeding them are both cruel and out their lives at risk.

I am with those that believe family intervention is the appropriate course of action. There is premature adolsecence and a whole host of health problems.

She is definitely not healthy. She is very unhealthy, and this is so extreme.

It always amazes me that one small heart can support such huge bodies, but they do eventually give out, too early.

I hope this girl, and her family, all of them, get help from SS and medical professionals.

Poor kid- plastered all over the internet. Her mum needs a good shake.

I read the article, and the head teacher put the child in solitary because she wasn’t wearing the regulation school skirt.
This child is being failed by all the adults around her.
I hope SS get involved. She is already at risk of childhood diabetes and goodness knows what else.

I saw that article too.
I’m not slim (size 16) but I really really feel for this poor girl. If she’s too large to fit in the school uniform then there is a serious problem there and she is facing a life of illness and humiliation. I was a size 12/14 at school and got called fat most days ( and if I escaped a day there was always my lovely brother at home) so this poor girl must get some seriously awful treatment.
The school needs to work with her mum (who I largely blame) to help her make better choices and her Mum sure as hell doesn’t need to parade her in the national press!
If she was serious underweight I’m pretty sure there would be intervention so there should be in this case too

The poor girl already looks like an unfit old lady, I think the school was wrong to put her into isolation, it's obvious the usual uniform was not going to fit, but depriving her of education is just going to give her more problems and draw attention to her from her classmates. For her mother to put her in the public eye and media is just shocking, she needs help , and fast, her future life looks so sad and bleak without the obvious help she needs to tackle some weight loss.

It's abusive. She didn't get that way overnight, that's long term neglect on her parents behalf and the authorities should have stepped in a long time ago. Sadly while we have the body positive narrative/anti "body shaming" agenda being pushed, people will be told off for stating the obvious. She is massively overweight for someone any age, let alone a teenager and there should have been intervention.

It isn't all the mothers fault but it's only her mentioned and only the mother in the article photos.
Move more eat less doesn't work
It's about educating her what's right and wrong to put in her body and how to exercise. Maybe take dog for a walk or choose to walk the shops not get w bus. Little things will help her. She clearly hasn't been given a good role model an it shouldn't be pushed on a child.
I'm only saying this as it's the Same as I wouldn't want my brother do this to my niece were she's fat as she's got the bad habits from them and we've all expressed this and our worries and when she does get older as she's only young atm we will keep an eye on it so it doesn't happen were she ends up the size of them - ino we can't stop it but we can advise !! And to be honest she has a good diet it's just they binge on junk food when she isn't around like at school they go for McDonald's but not your average 1 meal. They get 2 meals each an the rest....

I have also read the article.
That poor girl.
Sadly I have no advice apart from what has already been suggested.
But if she is size 24/26 now; what on earth will she be in 5/10 years time?

Putting weight on is a very complex thing.
@Sweetpeach3 explained one possible cause (the partner/parent is a feeder) but there are also psychological reasons on the top of not knowing how to eat etc... (I would actually say that few people actually know how to eat. Most people THINK they know or THINK they are eating xx way but they arent).

This girl needs some support, psychological support first and formost. But for that, she first needs to WANT to do it.

What I think is unhelpful is saying that its abuse from the mother side (what about the father??). Or that the mum should be able to somehow control her dd eating.
That teen is 14yo. The time when the mum was able to control what she ate is long gone. The best she can do is to ensure she has foods that are healthy as possible in the house. It wont stop the dd to go oyt and buy sweets/crisps/more food.

She obese. Fat, huge. Quit the eating. It works

Well, that's the problem...you can't quit eating.

Do you also tell anorexics to eat or alcoholics to just stop drinking or drug addicts to just stop injecting?

The paper and mother are extremely irresponsible for exposing this child to national ridicule in this way. This should be dealt with privately and sensitively. They have now opened the daughter up to nasty trolling which is hardly going to help her to have a healthy mind and body. This mother is either clueless or vulnerable herself. Either way, that is a child who could very well be dead by 20 if she doesn't get serious professional help.

I know the school and it is just their uniform policy - they are also trying to help resolve it.

I just feel for her. She's got put into isolation for her size and that's humiliating in front of your whole school. Then your mum puts you in the paper with it alongside your picture. They should all want to help her! But yes I agree her education needs shouldn't be punished for her size....

I haven’t seen the article, but medically healthy at 14 and a size 24? I don’t believe that for a second.

I briefly scanned the article and the girl is exceptionally tall I thought. Still overweight, but very tall.

Anyway- obesity is never about calories in and out. There are usually subtle or not so subtle mental health issues at play as well and those who say 'eat less move more' are lucky to not understand it is not that simple. (Because one size fits all, right?? pun intended)

@Sweetpeach3, the issue that this teen has are very likely to be VERY DIFFERENT than what your family is experiencing.

This is very sad. I would guess this girl has steadily being putting on weight her whole life. She needs medical help to break the cycle, sooner rather than later.
Children are dying of obesity now. metro.co.uk/2019/09/12/teen-13-died-obesity-mum-kept-bringing-takeaways-hospital-bed-10727321/
hopefully the Mum/Dad is not deliberately sabotaging the girl's health and she starts taking action.

Was it confirmed that there was no thyroid issue? I haven't seen the article. Hopefully someone comes forward and helps them to learn better food education. Why do you hold your sister in law responsible for your brothers weight? It's not like she's force feeding him, he's choosing to eat it, just like he chose not to go to a slimming club. He has to WANT to change, and I say that as someone who has lost 9 stone. Its just easier to blame someone else.

We don't know if there is any reason the girl is so overweight (? Prada Willi syndrome or anything, eating disorder?)

Mother says she's medically fit

It's about educating her what's right and wrong to put in her body and how to exercise.

The trouble is she will have had these lessons at school. They probably started when she was at primary focusing on making good food choices and the importance of exercise.

It's clear that the situation is unlikely to change unless she is removed from her mother as at 14 it is her mother who has been providing the food and giving her the meals.

Oh my god poor girl, what were her parents thinking?!

I agree that in every case with filling them with fat is abuse, you are making them ill. You are setting them up to be miserable. Missing out on playing sports and so many other physical activities and games. Have body problems for years and years. The bullying... the staring. The poor girl will have to work soooo hard now to lose that weight I feel so sorry for her.

@Myriade it's only her mother mentioned in the article and it's clearly gone in for many years to get to the point she's at now
@LongWalkShortPlank it says she's medically healthy at that size