Social services, police or keep my nose out of it

[hoxtonbabe]

Hi, this is more a what should I do?

Back in July, I was getting ready with son for school, about 8.15am we heard lots of howling, crying, etc from somewhere at the back of our flat/garden. We then realised it was from one of the gardens opposite and that the parents of a girl aged around 4 had locked her out on the doorway/steps leading down to their garden. I’ve never really seen this family so thought it may have been an AirBnB???

The lady from the house who’s garden backs on to mine/opposite and is about 3 doors away from this family also heard the girl crying etc, and was asking if she was ok, where her mummy was etc but she just kept crying. I could see there were people in the flat, so realised it was a form of punishment after about 5 minutes of this i was about to call the police but then the mother came out, and although I couldn’t clearly hear what they were saying I could see the girl nodding yes, as the mother was calmly talking to her and then they went inside so I left it at that. I must add that the whole thing went on for about 15 mins in total, but initially I wasn’t focused on it as I was getting ready and thought it was just a child crying in general, but when it didn’t stop and was sounding more distressing that’s when I actually looked to see where it was coming from.

Roll on today, my son comes running into my bedroom saying that girl has been locked out again and she’s crying. Now I’m thinking this not a one off air bnb and this doesn’t seem right. Same as before, mum is in the house, girl is crying please let me in, mum then eventually let’s her back in.

Where I’m wavering is who do I call? My gut instinct is SS, or do I leave this family to discipline their child in the way they want ( even though she cries so loud most of us within a 10house radius can hear her ) whilst I’ve witnessed this twice in the space of 2 months, that’s not to say it hasn’t happened when I’ve been out.

They haven’t physically harmed her to my knowledge, and I supposed it’s an extreme version of a time out. Other than the foxes that are usually sunbathing on people’s deck chairs there is no chance of her getting taken, however if she was to get so distraught and Shuffled around she could fall down the metal stairs ( there is at least 10 steps).

*z

It’s scary trying to raise a kid these days with so many people willing to report you for a time out. A type of time out that has been said to be seen on a program on how to parent a child.

What TV programme advocates shutting a 4 year old child out so that they're left unsupervised for 15 minutes in a distressed state at the top of a metal staircase?

@HollysTeflonSeptum
Omg a dog... near stairs?!!
I think you are dramatic, yes.

The op stated it was "locked"

She saw it closed.... assumed it was locked.

I'm sure you have. Still doesn't change my opinion.

Just to clarify I stated you were being ridiculous and dramatic to say you wouldn't put a DOG outside your back door.. And close it. Not a child.

I think that statement is very dramatic.
You don't... difference of opinion .

I'm sure a 3/4 year old would soon work out it wasn't locked and get back in.

And just to clarify at the risk of repeating myself ad Infinitim, not if there was open access to precipitous steps I.e. door wasn't level with the ground floor. No.

I'll leave that there because if anything's ridiculous it's the derailing of this thread now.

Tonnerre

Someone on the thread said super nanny or something like that. They also would suggest (from what I’ve seem) the crying it out method which in my opinion is basically the same. A child out somewhere they cannot get out and left for a certain amount of time regardless of the crying or not. I don’t think letting a kid scream is a bad thing to be honest, how can you stop them while also not giving in? I send mine upstairs and tel her to come down once she is calm, the younger gets put into the pushchair until she stops. What would you suggest? I’d love to know how to sop the tantrums while also not giving in.

I want to add, my five ear old has no patience and not through lack of trying to teach it to her. Our front door is a bit stiff and needs a good yank to get open. This is tricky for the five year old if she has closed it too hard on her way out to play, as I said about her lack of patience when she wants back in she will be grabbing at the door handle screaming “let me in, answer the door mummy!” And will sound quite panicked, now if my hands are full or I’m changing a nappy then I shout to her to hold on a minute but it doesn’t stop her sounding distressed because the kid just cannot wait for a minute, thank god the police aren’t called as they would have been here every day, multiple times and for no reason.