Soft play shit storm

[JazzyBBG]

Name change for this... just because... but I promise I'm not a poo troll!

So met a friend at soft play for lunch today. Nearing the end of lunch almighty smell of shit. Turn around there is a lady behind us cleaning up her 3 year old nappy full of poo on the floor, a potty there and it's down his legs getting worse.

This is in the middle of the food area. There is a baby change less than 8 metres away.

So I stood up and said to her "do you mind this is disgusting people are eating"

Her reply;

"Don't be so damn judgy you dont know what's going on I didn't know it had poo in it"

(The kid had been waking around with a visibly full nappy for sometime whilst she ignored him)

Me "well it's disgusting there is a baby change here you shouldn't be doing it here"

Her

"Oh I suppose you're so damn perfect are you shaming people"

Me

"Well I wouldn't do this"

I turned around and ignored her at that point.

This is disgusting right or am I in a parallel universe?

I don't really care if I shamed her she should be ashamed. As my friend said if there was an outbreak of food poisoning from the cafe they'd get the blame! There was no reason to do that there. There was no staff around at this point.
No doubt someone will say I should have helped her but I've had two of my own and never had the need to change them in he middle of a cafe!
I think she was possibly the grandma rather than the mum couldn't really tell. I actually feel sick thinking about it still.

Letting the child experience the natural consequences of leaving it too late is far preferable to sacrificing the teaching moment for the sake of whatever it is that is motivating the parent.

I found with my DC that they had to have a couple of accidents at the beginning of potty training in order to learn how to not have accidents. They need those natural consequences to help them make the connection between uncomfortable feeling in tummy > wet/dirty pants > uncomfortable feeling against skin.

Far better from the pov of toilet training for the child to sit on the loo before leaving home

9 months !!!!!!!! My son was trained in a week and then at night about 3 weeks after at 21 months, 9 blooming months, no thank you

My DC were all potty trained and reliably clean/dry within a week of us starting but it's still commonsense to try the toilet before heading out. My oldest DC is 10yo and I still ask if he wants to try the loo before we go out.

when you start training sometimes they don't need it before you leave and then need it while you are out, they are only babies, so to use a little potty on that first couple instance is not the end of the world.

And if someone does feel the need to bring a potty out, it should be used somewhere private such as the toilets or baby changing room.

I'm glad you said something, if you suspect that their nappy is dirty take them to the loo
Teach them that privacy is important from the start

Picklypickles. You immediately alerted the staff so they could clean up?? How utterly skanky of you (and there were two of you!)
That is really, really off.

Sorry OooErMissus I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

I had the confused face as another poster was questioning my replies and I was explaining why. If you read the whole conversation it will make sense.

Bourbonbiccy you can often get a result by running a tap for a while when the DC is perched on the commode.

Here's the convo Tigger:

Previous poster -
And no, Tigger, people do not need to chill out about shit, literal shit in the cafe area. Get away with you

You -
Again I never said anything about a potty in a cafe, PP were talking about a supermarket.

The whole thread is about shit - literal shit - in the cafe area. Why are you so confused about this?

To be fair to Picklypickles, it's most unlikely that she or her H had the necessary bleach spray, cloths or other equipment, or knowledge of biohazard cleaning or disposal of used materials protocol at the venue to do the job properly. It was perfectly ok to gather the DC and tell the staff asap.

And no venue should be happy to leave soiled equipment to be used by others if only an untrained and possibly unconcerned parent wiped it down (with baby wipes or tissues or whatever they had to hand).

Bourbonbiccy you can often get a result by running a tap for a while when the DC is perched on the commode.

Sorry are you saying the appropriate way to potty train is now running Taps to force a wee before leaving the house or have a missed the point ?

This again does not help teach them (if learning) the feeling of when they need to go, surely you are trying to teach them to know the feeling of when they need a wee and the appropriate place to put it once they recognise it (I.e potty or toilet)

And if someone does feel the need to bring a potty out, it should be used somewhere private such as the toilets or baby changing room.

I completely agree, but my only point was, if when starting out they say they need a wee there and then and they use a potty when out, it's not then end of the world to me, it's better than leaving them to do it in a nappy or have an accident, when they have done the right thing in recognising the need for a wee and telling you about it. Not as a constant, just when starting.

But each to their own, we all have different methods and different situation. We can just agree to disagree.

The appropriate place is not a potty in a supermarket aisle. How many times? If they can’t hold on until they reach a toilet (and there’s one right there in most supermarkets, we’re talking 2 minutes tops) then they’re not at the stage of being outdoors without a pull-up.
Catching it in a potty regardless of location of said potty is not toilet training.

No, that's not what I am saying .

As stated briefly, stay home until they get the hang of it, then ask them to go before you leave.

To expand - you can time leaving the house for a certain amount of time after breakfast or lunch so that you can be fairly certain that the DC would actually need to go. Give an hour or whatever after breakfast (i.e. their normal time to need to pee after a meal/drink) take the DC to the loo if they haven't yet told you they need to go, and run the tap. But chances are that if you wait then the DC will tell you they need to go and you won't have to resort to the tap. Running the tap is an adjunct to an already observed pattern.

Obviously planning your outings is very easy if your DC normally poops at about the same time every day. Many small children have very regular bowel habits and will pee at the same time.

When you're potty training you may find you can't be as spontaneous as you might have been before.

Oooermissus

The point is in my original comment about people needing to chill out was not about shit in a cafe, it was about people taking potties out with them, that's the point.

I had already given my opinion on the shit in the cafe, then moved on ( in the conversation with another poster) to say people need to chill out about people taking potties out.

I was then misquoted as it being linked to shit in a cafe !!!

My goodness, it's really not that difficult.

I cannot get passed people defending this. Shit or not you don't change a nappy in a cafe. You don't have a potty in a cafe.
How would you like it if I came and took a shit right next to you whilst eating? You wouldn't unless you are the type of nasty fucker who changes nappies everywhere.

Good on op for pulling her up. If the woman felt embarrassed, good she should.

And what is this nonsense about taking a potty everywhere with you? It was a long time ago, but I am sure that when mine were toilet training they could indicate in some way that the toilet was needed. If they don't know they need to go then are they ready yet or just parents trying to push it?

Completely agree with headintheiclouds.

A potty in a supermarket aisle, cafe, etc. Is not acceptable at any time. Even the first couple of days. If they're not ready to hold it long enough to get to a toilet, just don't go anywhere they might need to.

If you absolutely must go somewhere e.g. desperately need a prescription, then use a pull up or back to a nappy. Not ideal but if it's an urgent trip and not poorly planned potty/toilet training, going backwards for one time will not cause a massive setback.

Changing nappies in public spaces of places with facilities is never acceptable.

Yes mathanxiety in an ideal situation (minus the tap IMO) that would be exactly how it would play out and I agree as that is similar to how I did my son.

But if, while training, they did need a wee while out and about I would prefer they did it in a little potty to keep the consistency when at the other end of a store if they couldn't make it, than leaving them to do it in a nappy (which a pull up is) or have an accident.

The appropriate place is a potty, not in the aisle of a supermarket as a constant, obviously not, but when first training and out for the first time its not the end of the world IMO.

Do people really toilet train a child and still put a nappy on the child? What is the point? It just delays the child being nappy free. Same with pullups, terrible for training.

desperately need a prescription, then use a pull up or back to a nappy.

I think that's a million times worse, maybe easier for you but far more confusing for your child, but that's just my opinion. Which we are all entitled too.

No, what’s confusing for the child is the notion that a toilet (ie potty) will be available at a click of the fingers. Waiting until you reach the toilet is what toilet training actually is.
If they can’t wait, they’re not trained. Stay out of supermarkets until they are. Free pissing in public is grim.

It's really not a case of an ideal situation - just one that is planned and organised to maximise chances of success. My thought was that it would be very good for a DC to get the hang of toilet training in a relaxed atmosphere, and that was best accomplished at home where nobody would be worried about an accident or a less than clean public loo. I stayed home with the DCs for at least the first week, actually more like the first ten days iirc.

Once it was time to train, nobody used either a pot or a nappy or a pull up again, by day or night. I agree with HeadintheiClouds that this can be very confusing.

(I dispensed with the potty altogether. At home, my DCs sat on a children's clip-on toilet seat and climbed on using a step stool, so that when we were out and about we didn't have any balking at using proper loos and also because it made sense to start as we wanted to end up - i.e. using the loo, not the potty, no upgrade needed).

maximise chances of success.

It absolutely about that, setting them up to succeed and that is most definitely not putting them back in nappies (pull ups). That is just easy for the parents and not at all helpful for the child.

It's handing them the control at some point and allowing them to know the need for the toilet, knowing where to put it, being able to tell you and then make it to the toilet. In some cases they may do the 1st few while still in training for the 1st couple of days out but just not tell you in time, so in that scienario, IMO, it's not the end if the world.

It's really not a case of an ideal situation

But not every case is textbook, and you can plan for success but on the odd occasion it may not work, so I would much prefer a wee in a potty, it's far less embarrassing than having a 3/4 year old still in nappies.

I never took a potty out with me when training my 21 month old, but I wouldn't be judgey if someone needed to do that in order to give their child the dignity of not sitting in their own mess.

Ffs - unnecessary & grim. What’s wrong with some folk?? Ugh!

That is not nice but did she have an older child near that she didn’t want to leave?

She didn't have to leave the older child, she can just take him/her with her!

Maybe Mum has mental health problems. It is icky for everyone else but I would not be unkind to a mother in that situation.

Maybe she had mental health problems? Are you for real?