Who should of got of the bus?

[namechangedforthis09]

Posting this for my Dsis so name changed !

My sister was on the bus yesterday with her DS who is ASD and her DD who has hip dysplasia and is currently in a cast (see pic of google) both her children are disabled and get DLA atm.

There was 2 spaces either side for wheelchair/prams. She was in 1 and on the other was a mum with a newborn, half way to were she was going a wheelchair user gets on and the bus driver asks her to fold her pram, she took her DD blanket of and pointed out her child is disabled and if she wasn't a baby would be in a wheelchair herself instead of a buggy & that she was to heavy to lift/hold on the bus with her ASD son also there.

The bus driver didn't know what to do but continued to say she needed to fold up her buggy, when she asked why the other mum couldn't fold hers he said it was safer for Dsis to hold her child as she was older.

In the end the person in the wheelchair asked Dsis to help her into a seat and she could fold the wheelchair, then to top of the other mum got of at the next stop literally 2 minutes up the road!

Dsis has complained about the bus driver because she feels the other mum should have folded her pram and that he totally ignored the fact she had 2 disabled children with her.

So who was actually in the wrong here? The bus company have asked DSis what she would like to happen and I personally think the bus drivers need better training to deal with these situations.

I think the other mum should have volunteered to fold her pushchair, or stated .that she was getting of at the next stop. I don't understand why she would just stand there while the debate went on!
For your sil, you can get signs to say that the pushchair should be treated as a wheel chair.

'Off'

Other mum was unhelpful in this situation

DSis had a disabled child and had priority and was there first for disabled space. She showed bus driver and that was the end of it for her part .

The other mum with baby should have moved and was outrageous not to. Then disabled adult could have travelled on bus in her wheelchair in wheelchair space. The adult found a solution. Not every wheelchair user oa a full time wheelchair user who can't transfer themselves into a chair, sometimes a wheelchair is used due to distance person can't walk. You can't tell that, only the person knows what they are capable of doing. It's not ideal but it sounds like the lady in wheelchair found a (risky) solution, in sympathy with your DSis. The other mum was awful,
AND gets off 2 mins away after refusing to budge??

The other mother was in the wrong, assuming that her child had no disabilities that meant the child needed to stay in the buggy.

The other mum was a bitch.

Can you sister get a “treat as wheelchair” sticker for the pram?

Of course the bus driver and the other mum are BU. How does any sane person see a baby in a cast like that and think it the mother should hold them?! Your poor Dsis and poor wheelchair user who shouldn't have had to get out of their chair.

I'd get Dsis to complain to the bus company with the time/date of the bus, bus number (if she got it), description of driver and a pic of her DS with the cast on.

The bus driver should have told her to fold her pram.
The other mum is the unreasonable person in this situation and I don’t see how anyone could see otherwise.
I can’t believe she made a disabled person get out of their wheelchair! I know having a newborn is hard but that’s unbelievably entitled!

Generally speaking, the other mum shouldn’t have ignored the situation. However, I am going to play devil’s advocate.... if she had a newborn then this might have been her very first trip out. She may not have even confidently known how to fold her pram. She may have not been confident holding her newborn on a busy moving vehicle. She may have panicked at the prospect of getting the carrycot bit off the top of the pram with a newborn in her arms. Everyone is fighting their own silent battles. It’s even possible she got off at the next stop because she was upset that she hadn’t been able help and was embarrassed.

If there are only two spaces for wheelchairs and pushchairs then I can’t imagine this doesn’t happen more.

The other mum was in the wrong and the bus driver was in the wrong for not enforcing the rules. You could always make a complaint to the bus company so that they remind their drivers.

I think the bus drivers must just be told that wheelchairs users take priority end of! I think you all are right that she needs a special sign or sticker to let others know,Obviously she is usually covered in blankets as cant wear pants!

i agree with baldi we don't know the other mothers reason for not helping.

The accommodation of those with disabilities comes first. The other mother should have been told to fold or get off.

i think some bus drivers just want the easy angle and pick on the easier target as opposed to the one who might get gobby.

The other mum with a pushchair was a fucking piss taker and should have moved. The driver sounds like he panicked as he didn’t know what he should have done in this scenario and lacked the common sense to think it through.

I think in the longer term buses need more disabled / pushchair accessible spaces. All road users should be kept safe. It's strange how we are fined if we travel in a car o4 coach without a seatbelt but it's fine on a bus! A baby in your arms is likely to be crushed by your upper body in the event of a serious accident. A small child leads with their head and is more likely to have a serious head injury than an adult in a bus crash, and yet we expect them to stand for adults! It's all a little bizarre! So yes, disability currently trumps able children but I feel bus companies should do more to accommodate both of these groups. More folding seats perhaps?

Other Mum should have got off and walked. My niece had those casts on her legs and I know how difficult it is to manage. She's 28 now by the way OP and beautifully healed. She plays all kinds of sports. x

I don't think it is a training issue. The bus driver acted in accordance with guidelines which obviously prioritises wheelchairs and younger children. Your DSIS didn't engage with the other mum so she doesn't know if there was a reason why she didn't volunteer.

Other mum should have got off and walked. I get the bus with my buggy and if I'm one or two stops from where I'm going and see another buggy getting on, I just get off as it's easier than doing the whole juggle twice.

If I was the other mother I would have got off the bus. I wouldn't want to go to the trouble of folding a buggy with a newborn for a single stop 2min down the road.

I feel for your sister in this situation. 2 disabled children and having to assert her needs in public is tough.

Ideally buses need more buggy/wheelchair spaces. Where I live they are always at a premium, while loads of seats are empty.

contact the bus company & have chat - explain the situation & ask for drivers to be informed (stress at all times the dc/db was disabled)

How lovely of the wheelchair user to find a solution, though! I bet she's been a pram pusher at some point, too. Bus driver wants reporting and should have been invited to try lifting and holding a child in plaster himself, or at least told to stop and think what she must weigh in all that and how difficult to hold. Other mum was being selfish, bit who knows if she was feeling grim herself? Could easily be pregnant with no 2 and feeling on the verge of throwing up all the time.

We need nicer bus drivers!

I always feel sorry for the bus drivers. They are trained to drive the bus, but have very little training on dealing with disputes like this. My husband is disabled and its always a nightmare. No one wants to fold up their pram, and I totally understand that. I avoid buses because I get so nervous about having to fold the pram. The idea of taking all the shopping out, holding the baby, folding the pram, in all a good amount of time, without having a panic attack "/, especially if I have my Autistic son with me, or any of the other to be honest.

The disabled child should have had priority, end of. But I do understand how difficult these things are for everyone involved! :(
The bus companies need clearer rules, and better training for drivers!

1. The other mother should have folded her pram or got off
2. By now, buses should be better adapted to accommodate differently abled passengers in more seats/spaces.

bus driver wants reporting
I feel rather sorry for drivers faced with people who are so unnecessarily vindictive.