Who should of got of the bus?

[namechangedforthis09]

Posting this for my Dsis so name changed !

My sister was on the bus yesterday with her DS who is ASD and her DD who has hip dysplasia and is currently in a cast (see pic of google) both her children are disabled and get DLA atm.

There was 2 spaces either side for wheelchair/prams. She was in 1 and on the other was a mum with a newborn, half way to were she was going a wheelchair user gets on and the bus driver asks her to fold her pram, she took her DD blanket of and pointed out her child is disabled and if she wasn't a baby would be in a wheelchair herself instead of a buggy & that she was to heavy to lift/hold on the bus with her ASD son also there.

The bus driver didn't know what to do but continued to say she needed to fold up her buggy, when she asked why the other mum couldn't fold hers he said it was safer for Dsis to hold her child as she was older.

In the end the person in the wheelchair asked Dsis to help her into a seat and she could fold the wheelchair, then to top of the other mum got of at the next stop literally 2 minutes up the road!

Dsis has complained about the bus driver because she feels the other mum should have folded her pram and that he totally ignored the fact she had 2 disabled children with her.

So who was actually in the wrong here? The bus company have asked DSis what she would like to happen and I personally think the bus drivers need better training to deal with these situations.

An elderly lady I know had a fall on a bus, broke her knee 😔 now completely wheel chair bound

No way should a wheelchair user feel they habd to have to express guilt for taking a space that's prioritised for them.

OP I don't mean your sisters child should have had to get off. I think she had a complete right to be there.

@JustMe81 I don't really understand the prams that mums buy now. It used to be that prams were sold on benefits such as being really easy to fold. I can remember an advert for one that showed how easy it was to fold down one handed. But these days few seem to consider this.

The bus driver made the decision that it was safer for op sister rather than newborn, I would advise she let's it go

Quite an assumption. And exactly what expertise would a driver have to make that call? Its really simple - the two disabled travellers get the two spaces and the other mother either folds up the buggy/removes basinet or walks to the next stop.

If the spaces are for wheelchairs and prams then the wheelchair user who got on last should have waited for next bus.

The disability discrimination Act is unique in English law in that it allows you to discriminate in favour of a disabled person.

Some of us fought for years to get a space on the bus and to not travel in the guards van on a train.

I think person in wheelchair should wait for the next bus (it will not harm them)

You don't know that, for a lot of people it will.

I find it strange that women for decades managed to catch busses with small children but as soon as a space is made available for a disabled person then prams can no longer be folded.

OP

I know this doesn't answer your question but has your sis signed up to ring and ride?

I guess that the bus driver is following guidelines

@ilovesooty I totally agree, but some do. In fact most of my experiences when I've moved (straight away and made sure the entire space is clear) I've been thanked very politely by them.

I feel the same when someone is sitting in the pram space with no pram, and I get on with my pram - especially if it's an elderly person. I feel huge guilt and always make sure there is another seat for them.

I don't see why an adult in a wheelchair should come first

Because adults in wheelchairs fought for their rights to have access to buses and to have priority over selfish people who won't move for them.
There's quite a history as to why disabled people need the spaces and have priority. Please do some research and educate yourself, then you will see why an adult in a wheelchair should come first.

I take the waiting/not harming comment back.

I (very obviously) don't have any experience of being disabled or having a disabled (wheelchair using) family member. They may need to get the bus there and then for very good reason.

If a pram is in the space should be made free immediately.

I can't actually believe people are defending the other mum.

Doesn't know how to fold her buggy easily? She should have figured that out ahead of time. It's not difficult to practice in your own home.

Tired from being a new mum? Welcome to motherhood sweetheart, you're not the only one. Same for stressed.

There is no excuse to stand there like a gormless idiot while a disabled person in a wheelchair gets helped out of it into another seat. That's just despicable and very entitled behaviour.

@jennymanara I agree. It seems to be quite difficult to find a pram that actually does everything you need it to do while being practical enough to use on things like busses. My wants have definitely changed from being a FTM to expecting my 2nd and really just wanting to get somewhere quickly, easily and with minimum fuss.

3 people, two of which were disabled.
The 3rd one either was also disabled and should have said so (even if its temporary etc etc). or isnt disabled and should have folded the pram/got down.

It MIGHT be that, as a new mum, she hasnt ot the hang of folding the buggy/travel light with a newborn/will need to disturb said newborn if using public transport. But none of that is a reason good enough to ask someone who is in a wheelchair to try and move to a seat. Or a mum with a child in a cast like this (remembering she also had to be able to look after her other child with SN) to fold her own pushchair and hold a baby in a cast.
If anything the baby in the cast is more 'fragile' than the newborn!

@BlankTimes

I look like a monster now and it's made me think twice. Of course they should come first! I just meant in some cases (and not at risk to their own health) a poorly baby with no car access, on the way to a hospital should be able to 'borrow' the space ahead of them, IF they can wait and it isn't going to put them at risk. But it's all opinion of course - maybe I went about it the wrong way and in future should call an amblance if I can't get a taxi.

Isn’t it all first come first served? (If the spaces are indeed for both prams and wheelchairs.) Did she have to move or would it just have been the nice thing to do? Not sure the bus driver has done anything wrong.

Blueoasis how horrible of you. I was absolutely terrified taking my baby anywhere because of ghastly judgmental people like you using public transport like some kind of competitive parenting show.

I'd have got off. But I'd have been entirely wrapped up in my own anxiety, my own baby and the fact that fifty fuckers are staring at me and wondering why I'm no bloody good at this.

Get. To. Fuck.

@Beelee

the OP states the 2 spaces are designated for a wheelchair user AND a pram. The wheelchair space was being occupied (rightly) by OPs niece

I can’t believe I’m having to explain this to an actual adult FFS

TWO spaces, THREE people wanting to use them. Priority goes to those in the most need so DSIS (2 children, one in a hip brace & one with SN) & WC user (generally) not some able bodied woman with a small baby who doesn’t want to fold her pram/buggy.

FFS it shouldn’t need spelling out

@BaldilockssThe spaces are for wheelchair users but pushchair users can utilise them if not needed by a wheelchair user - so in this scenario the other mom should have moved/folded.

The bus driver made the decision that it was safer for op sister rather than newborn, I would advise she let's it go

Based on his qualification as a bus driver?!

FFS seriously?

Even common sense would tell you one mum with 2 children, one in a hip brace is going to be ‘less safe’ than a mum with one baby.

ask someone else to hold the baby' - oh yes, this brand new mother should clearly have asked a complete stranger, with unknown illnesses, to hold her most precious belonging in the world

Jesus wept - get a bloody grip!

More likely to have caught something in the hospital than from someone on the bus and if you’re that fucking paranoid maybe going out in public isn’t a great choice.

MorrisZapp get to fuck yourself. You said yourself you would have got off, that one didn't. You actually saying that a new mother takes priority over a disabled person? No they don't. She had options, the disabled person didn't. She could have got off and walked, could have folded the buggy. She stood there and did nothing, watched as a disabled person was removed from their wheelchair. If you actually think that's OK you've got problems.

Priority goes to those in the most need

I’d have thought it was first come first serve else what happens if there are three wheelchair users? Do they have to play disability top trumps?

Again Baldilockss - the space is for wheelchair users that is courteously extended to pushchair users if no wheelchair user requires it

Assuming only 1 space on bus:
Pushchair user in space and wheelchair user gets on... pushchair user moves

Wheelchair user in space and another wheelchair user wishes to board the bus... either 2nd wheelchair user waits for another bus, or wheelchair users are able to agree between them who takes the space

So first come first served only applies when it is only wheelchair users impacted. Wheelchair trumps pushchair every other time

No idea who should've got off the bus, but what a wonderful smile your niece has.

I don't think it's possible to judge who should've got off from this post without the input from the other mum.

If I'd been the mother of the newborn I wouldn't have been able to fold the pram as I'm disabled (though you wouldn't know to look at me) and on some days I wouldn't have been able to walk the 2 minutes home (which is more than 2 minutes walking rather than on the bus). If she wasn't disabled then she's massively in the wrong if she was able to walk (not stitched up/recovering from c section etc).