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Original poster

Who should of got of the bus?

201 replies

namechangedforthis09 · 13/09/2019 08:21

Posting this for my Dsis so name changed !

My sister was on the bus yesterday with her DS who is ASD and her DD who has hip dysplasia and is currently in a cast (see pic of google) both her children are disabled and get DLA atm.

There was 2 spaces either side for wheelchair/prams. She was in 1 and on the other was a mum with a newborn, half way to were she was going a wheelchair user gets on and the bus driver asks her to fold her pram, she took her DD blanket of and pointed out her child is disabled and if she wasn't a baby would be in a wheelchair herself instead of a buggy & that she was to heavy to lift/hold on the bus with her ASD son also there.

The bus driver didn't know what to do but continued to say she needed to fold up her buggy, when she asked why the other mum couldn't fold hers he said it was safer for Dsis to hold her child as she was older.

In the end the person in the wheelchair asked Dsis to help her into a seat and she could fold the wheelchair, then to top of the other mum got of at the next stop literally 2 minutes up the road!

Dsis has complained about the bus driver because she feels the other mum should have folded her pram and that he totally ignored the fact she had 2 disabled children with her.

So who was actually in the wrong here? The bus company have asked DSis what she would like to happen and I personally think the bus drivers need better training to deal with these situations.

Who should of got of the bus?
OP posts:
EleanorReally · 13/09/2019 09:24

i imagine a newborn in a pram would be difficult to fold the pram - it is a difficult scenario

Beelee · 13/09/2019 09:29

If the spaces are for wheelchairs and prams then the wheelchair user who got on last should have waited for next bus.

MildThing · 13/09/2019 09:30

I feel sorry for bus drivers too.

The mother of the newborn should have folded her pram.

But Bus Drivers are not mediation experts, with skills to negotiate with people of conflicting needs / senses of entitlement.

But they end up getting complained about.

More education about the needs (and legal rights) of disabled people is needed all round.

Lysistrataknowsherstuff · 13/09/2019 09:32

Beeper Round here you'd be waiting for at least an hour, perhaps two, if you waited for the next bus. Why on earth should the wheelchair user get off when the other woman with a pram could get off a stop early and walk? The bus legally has to have spaces for wheelchairs: they have priority.

Boysey45 · 13/09/2019 09:33

I think wheelchairs have priority but its not legally enforceable its for the bus company to sort it out. In this situation the other Mum should have been told to fold the pram down or have volunteered herself to get off if its just for 1 stop.
The bus driver needs better training and the law needs to be totally specific.

ilovesooty · 13/09/2019 09:33

If both spaces were occupied the mother with the child who does not have wheelchair needs gets off to accommodate a wheelchair user.

OllyBJolly · 13/09/2019 09:34

The other mum was a bitch

Nasty. Maybe she'd just had bad news. Maybe she hasn't slept for four nights in a row and was zombied out. She might have a shoulder injury so can't take baby out of pram without a lot of pain.The baby might have been sleeping for the first time in ages and she didn't want to wake it. You have no idea.

I agree re more spaces on buses. Buses are often the only choice of transport for disabled people and SAHPs. But the poor drivers do have a lot to put up with. They can't provide a solution for every situation.

museumum · 13/09/2019 09:35

It’s easy to say the mother of the newborn was wrong but if were really talking less than a couple of weeks old she could have been unable to fold the park due to csection recovery. I know when I first had to attend early baby clinics (hv couldn’t do home visits due to budget cuts) I was barely mobile.
However if only going two more stops I’d have said so or even got off.

WorraLiberty · 13/09/2019 09:36

Nasty. Maybe she'd just had bad news. Maybe she hasn't slept for four nights in a row and was zombied out. She might have a shoulder injury so can't take baby out of pram without a lot of pain.The baby might have been sleeping for the first time in ages and she didn't want to wake it. You have no idea.

Well unless you're going to add 'completely deaf' or 'unable to understand a word of English to that list, she could surely have apologised and explained why folding her buggy or walking to the next stop wasn't an option?

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 13/09/2019 09:36

Assuming the company operate they disabled spaces as a courtesy space for buggies - The other mother should have been made to fold the pram, your DN should have been treated as a disabled passenger in wheelchair with a right to that spot. Unfortunately if there was already a different disabled passenger in wheelchair on board in that spot and not enough space for a second one and they'd have to wait. It sucks, but less so than when people don't get the courtesy aspect despite the numerous signs.

If its one of those with a first come first serve as long then its tough for the third passenger.

YobaOljazUwaque · 13/09/2019 09:38

Maybe bus drivers should ask every pram-pusher when they get on the bus "how much of an issue would it be for you to fold the buggy if a wheelchair user gets on?" so that people like your SIL can declare right at the start of the journey that the DD is disabled and too heavy to hold. The other mother would have also given her answer, and who knows if she had some other issue as pp have pointed out, but if she had no reason to claim priority she would have been warned that she would have to fold or get off if this situation arose. If both wheelchair spots are occupied by someone with a disability then the driver can tell the wheelchair user there are no wheelchair spaces and if she is able to wall short distances and fold her chair she can choose that, or can wait for the next bus, but that must be very rare.

Sunshine93 · 13/09/2019 09:40

I grew with worraliberty it's annoying to have to fold a pushchair and carry your baby but it's not dangerous or nigh on impossible. A bit of inconvenience hardly equates to a disabled persons experiences. I don't care what the background was she should have said or done something.

Sunshine93 · 13/09/2019 09:40

Agree not grew

feelingverylazytoday · 13/09/2019 09:43

I imagine a newborn in a pram would be difficult to fold the oram
Our local buses specify 'buggy' friendly not 'pram'. That's because buggies usually are easy to fold and take up less space than a pram. I don't think you can really expect to take a pram onto a bus, though it's nice if the bus is empty and no one else needs to use those spaces.

StrictlyComeMarie · 13/09/2019 09:45

The other mum was definitely in the wrong. I find that quite a few women with young babies begin to think they’re god’s gift and that they’re entitled to anything they want.

ohdearmymistake · 13/09/2019 09:47

The bus design is in the wrong here, if you only have 2 spaces then clearly that's not enough.

OP sister couldn't do anything to help (by that I mean collapse the buggy), the other mother wasn't obliged to help (by that I mean the bus company policy is to leave newborns in the pram) so that left the wheelchair user to come up with a solution. Which is unacceptable.

There is no need to blame the driver what were they supposed to do, it was a no win situation.
I think complain to the bus company about lack of spaces but it was a bit mean to complain about the driver.

BlankTimes · 13/09/2019 09:47

Do google for 'Please Treat as a Wheelchair' badges and stickers for your DN's buggy.

GruciusMalfoy · 13/09/2019 09:49

The other mum had a brass neck to watch a disabled person get onto a seat and have to fold her chair, when she could have folded her pram with assistance if necessary. I'd be furious if I saw that.

WellLetsSayHesSquare · 13/09/2019 09:52

I agree with most posters above that the other mum should have folded. Your DSis should ask the bus company for a treat as wheelchair sign. Ours made one for me as our little girl is on oxygen and it is too much to hold her and move her canister off the bottom of the buggy as I can't put one down without the other lol.

ChippingInLowCarbing · 13/09/2019 09:52

@Beelee If the spaces are for wheelchairs and prams then the wheelchair user who got on last should have waited for next bus

Don’t be so fucking ridiculous! One woman had a baby she could have easily asked someone to hold the baby while she folded the buggy, it’s really not difficult.

In this case the wheelchair user was very kind and able to fold their W/C but she shouldn’t have have had to.

None of this should have impacted on the OP’s sister who had two children, one with SEN & one temporarily disabled.

If the newborns mother wasn’t confident about folding her buggy in front of people on a bus, she should use a sling and fold the buggy before she gets on. Nothing else excuses her very selfish attitude. As for getting off one stop after, FFS, she should have just got off when the W/C user got on! Even if she got off because she was upset (typical mn stretch there ) she could have got off at the previous stop.

viques · 13/09/2019 09:57

Why are people making excuses for the woman with the newborn? She was able to get herself onto the bus with the pram, she could have got herself off with the pram, and walked or waited for the next bus. She is clearly in the wrong and I don't care if she was possibly sleep deprived, sleep deprivation is not a disability.

StrictlyComeMarie · 13/09/2019 09:58

The other mum had a brass neck to watch a disabled person get onto a seat and have to fold her chair, when she could have folded her pram with assistance if necessary. I'd be furious if I saw that
Me too. Selfish cow

Sirzy · 13/09/2019 09:59

If the other mum was going to struggle to fold then she could have asked for help from others on the bus to do so.

nonmerci · 13/09/2019 10:02

The other mum should have got off considering she only had two stops to go or she should have volunteered to fold her pram. I appreciate it’s tough holding a baby and folding a pram simultaneously but she still should have offered, maybe asked you to hold the baby while she folded the pram? I’m unsure, either way she was in the wrong.

EleanorReally · 13/09/2019 10:02

if there were 2 wheelchair users on the bus , the third wheelchair user would not have the space to get on.
the newborn - has some sort of priority
the sister - temporarily disabled
and the wheelchair user, who was last on

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