Who should of got of the bus?

[namechangedforthis09]

Posting this for my Dsis so name changed !

My sister was on the bus yesterday with her DS who is ASD and her DD who has hip dysplasia and is currently in a cast (see pic of google) both her children are disabled and get DLA atm.

There was 2 spaces either side for wheelchair/prams. She was in 1 and on the other was a mum with a newborn, half way to were she was going a wheelchair user gets on and the bus driver asks her to fold her pram, she took her DD blanket of and pointed out her child is disabled and if she wasn't a baby would be in a wheelchair herself instead of a buggy & that she was to heavy to lift/hold on the bus with her ASD son also there.

The bus driver didn't know what to do but continued to say she needed to fold up her buggy, when she asked why the other mum couldn't fold hers he said it was safer for Dsis to hold her child as she was older.

In the end the person in the wheelchair asked Dsis to help her into a seat and she could fold the wheelchair, then to top of the other mum got of at the next stop literally 2 minutes up the road!

Dsis has complained about the bus driver because she feels the other mum should have folded her pram and that he totally ignored the fact she had 2 disabled children with her.

So who was actually in the wrong here? The bus company have asked DSis what she would like to happen and I personally think the bus drivers need better training to deal with these situations.

i agree with nogreat bob

A friend who is paraplegic will not use buses as she says it is simply too hard with so many prams about and parents who refuse to fold them. It is really tough having to use a wheelchair, much tougher than having a child who uses a pram or buggy.

There was a case against First Bus because the driver would not allow a wheelchair user to board because the space was taken by a buggy. The Court ruled that drivers must make it clear that the space is for wheelchairs and although they can not physically remove a passenger who won't vacate the space they can take other measures such as refusing to carry on until that has been done.

Like it or not the mum with the newborn was in the wrong, as was the driver for not requiring her to move. I don't think the driver requires reporting although it is reasonable to ask for clarification from the bus company and to ask them to confirm that they comply with the law.

As someone who cares for a wheelchair user I have to say that using public transport is very stressful. We go to the trouble of catching the bus the beginning of its run to be sure we can use the wheelchair space rather than run the risk of having to ask someone to get off so that we can get on.

Eleanor have you any idea how much the mobility part of DLA is ?the baby is too young for the mobility part anyway I think it's two even if the child is in a wheelchair,so assuming the older child gets low rate mobility most children with ASD do unless they meet the SMI criteria ,which is incredibly difficult to prove ,it's about £20 ish a week ,it wouldn't fund many taxi,s

'ask someone else to hold the baby' - oh yes, this brand new mother should clearly have asked a complete stranger, with unknown illnesses, to hold her most precious belonging in the world.

Well, yes. If you catch the bus it’s something you have to accept. We have all had newborns, not everyone carries on like they are a piece of china and they are even built to withstand toddler siblings (gasp).

If I had been mum with a pram and knew it was only one stop I would have got off and walked and suspect most people would but new mums are in a blur sometimes.

Agree driver was in a tough position if the pram lady was in a space for pushchairs rather than designated wheelchair spot..no harm in having some disability awareness training for the drivers if that is the outcome of the complaint though. Actually the training needed is probably in how to explain the situation to passengers with pushchairs being asked to move/fold their buggy.

Shame no other passengers helped the lady fold her wheelchair etc.

Sorry about the grammar of my post, up all night with a 3 year old who was in pain where he's had surgery :(

I don't see why an adult in a wheelchair should come first

Fucking unbelievable.

@ilovesooty

Over a baby who needs to get to hospital and I cannot drive him there? Seriously?

Seriously.

Other mum was unreasonable

Your dsis essentially has a wheelchair bound child

All those saying the adult in the wheelchair should wait for the next bus - that sounds like common sense. In practice most buses have prams in the space. If a wheelchair user in my town did this, they would often have to let multiple buses go by before they could get on.
And yes I understand why my friend who uses a wheelchair refuses to use buses and just pays for taxis instead. She said she has had too many horrendous experiences, and would rather go out less, than use buses.

Re rash - the driver would have no way of knowing that was true and they get all kinds of stories all the time (pos true sometimes but prob not in the majority of cases) from people trying to use the bus for free.

And I don’t get why people struggle with the bassinet type buggies.

When I had one, I detached the bassinet with baby in, placed it on the floor/seats, collapsed the frame and left it in storage and then sat with the baby and bassinet

Easy

And a wheelchair user might certainly be harmed by having to wait for another bus.

also a rash is probably a one off situation where you can pay for a taxi if really worried, or fold your pram, etc

I agree with people saying we don't know the other mother's thoughts and it might not have been easy for her to fold the pram and hold her child. the next kind thing to do then is offer to get off. she was only another few mins up the road walk, or wait for the next bus.

Surely if the bus policy is that wheelchairs take priority then getting on the next bus with your ticket should be a given.

Your niece should have been treated the same way as a disabled person.

Those saying it wouldn’t have harmed the wheelchair user to wait, what happens if the next bus has buggies in the spaces? Which invariably they are in busy periods. The reality is the wheelchair user never gets on.

People roll their eyes at baby wearing but if the other mum has a sling it would've solved the issue. As for it being a walk from one stop to the next, when DS was at the carry cot stage, in the middle of winter we walked everywhere, he'd sleep, and I'd get some exercise (and a coffee), just wrapped us both up warm, we walked at least three miles a day and often up to eight or nine. He still loves to be outside. I could've used the car or busses but as a new mum fresh air and some quiet is nice. The other mother was clearly in the wrong.

The other Mother could have got off as she was getting off at the next stop anyway.

Wheelchair users should take priority.

The other mum was in the wrong, disability trumps newborn etc BUT I do think some people dismiss how difficult it is to fold a pram down when you’re still in the carrycot stage. Most don’t fold down in one piece and have to be taken apart, newborns don’t travel lightly, it’s daunting. I’m going to end up with a double pram in November and I’m already dreading having to use public transport. It seems that a lot of non pram users would prefer that mums with kids in prams just stay home so as not to be an inconvenience to anyone.

I actually spent a day with a disabled person as part of my job to see how it is for them to get around and its a real eye opener. They have to leave hours before an abled person does just to get to their destination as they have to factor in that they may not get on the first bus etc. that they will need extra time in stations to get to the platforms as often the lifts are further away and not well signposted. That for some wheelchairs the even small gaps between trains and platforms are too big and so they can't use those stations.

Their life is so much more difficult and we should be doing so much more to make the world more accessible.

I don't know the whole cicrumstances of the other mum but clearly she is able to get a bus so she should of got off and walked 2 mins up the road as she is fortunate enough to still be able to walk.

The bus driver made the decision that it was safer for op sister rather than newborn, I would advise she let's it go

If a wheelchair user wants to get on and a buggy is taking up the space surely they have to get off? That's what happens here.

I'm just saying in a situation where my child is ill and needs to get to the hospital (and I have no money for a taxi) I'd ask them as politely as I could if they'd mind if I had the space. I would feel very guilty! A lot of wheelchair users have expressed guilt and extreme grattitude when I've folded my pram up for them or got off. They've all been lovely about it and there is no need for them to be.

Thinking about it more, I'd very probably try and pick up my ill child and try and fold the pram, as difficult and stressful as that would be (hoping someone offered to help). I HATE putting people out.