Who should of got of the bus?

[namechangedforthis09]

Posting this for my Dsis so name changed !

My sister was on the bus yesterday with her DS who is ASD and her DD who has hip dysplasia and is currently in a cast (see pic of google) both her children are disabled and get DLA atm.

There was 2 spaces either side for wheelchair/prams. She was in 1 and on the other was a mum with a newborn, half way to were she was going a wheelchair user gets on and the bus driver asks her to fold her pram, she took her DD blanket of and pointed out her child is disabled and if she wasn't a baby would be in a wheelchair herself instead of a buggy & that she was to heavy to lift/hold on the bus with her ASD son also there.

The bus driver didn't know what to do but continued to say she needed to fold up her buggy, when she asked why the other mum couldn't fold hers he said it was safer for Dsis to hold her child as she was older.

In the end the person in the wheelchair asked Dsis to help her into a seat and she could fold the wheelchair, then to top of the other mum got of at the next stop literally 2 minutes up the road!

Dsis has complained about the bus driver because she feels the other mum should have folded her pram and that he totally ignored the fact she had 2 disabled children with her.

So who was actually in the wrong here? The bus company have asked DSis what she would like to happen and I personally think the bus drivers need better training to deal with these situations.

Just reread the original post. I change my mind about the driver. He should have asked the other mother to move, once he saw the little girl without the blanket, not say OP’s DSis would have an easier time holding her. Instead of worrying (possibly) the other woman would be very difficult. He should be reported then.

Sorry, I’m under the weather and after reading all of the other posts, forgot that last bit about the driver.

Ffs, I need to proof read. Buses with 1 wheelchair space and one buggy space.

@TheKarateKitty

Let’s not forget about the poster who thought it was ok to go to the front of the taxi line because she had kids

She was adamant she was right and couldn’t understand why we didn’t agree

@Beelee I’m reading the OP as one space for a wheelchair user (which is being occupied by the temporarily disabled niece) and the other space for a pram user (smaller space that wouldn’t fit a wheelchair)

Why?

From the OP

There was 2 spaces either side for wheelchair/prams.

Clearly both multi use spaces

Even if they weren’t she should have still moved so DSIS could use that space and the WC user could have used the larger space.

I can't believe some people think this the other woman with the pram was justified in not even trying to help. The list of possible reasons for this range from the ignorant to the absurd! Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe she was tired. Maybe she was nervous. Maybe she felt anxious because people were watching. Now May be think for a second about the person in a wheelchair. Maybe they were having their 4000th bad day. Maybe they were tired due to medication or pain. Maybe they they were nervous about using public transport. Maybe they were anxious because people were watching as she needed help to get out of her wheelchair and find somewhere to sit while a big hoo-haa is going on about it. All of which the other mother ignored bevayse she might be tired. The difference is that the mother chose that life. The person in a wheelchair didn't. Can you even begin to imagine what it must be like to be wheelchair bound? If any of us can do anything, however small, to make what I imagine to be a rather difficult life a little bit easier for people then surely we should do it?
Of course she can't go back in time but I hope the other mother did think about this on her walk home and maybe she realised that perhaps next time she will be more helpful not humiliate people with disabilities/children with disabilities by making them prove how disabled that are and who was more deserving of the space.

Also, I remember the court case to grant w/c users priority over prams, the man who started pointed out that whilst many of the kids that had been in prams when the case started were now able to walk etc he's still in a wheelchair and will be for the rest of his life.

@ChippingInLowCarbing

Do you use public transport? Buses usually only have space to accommodate 1 wheelchair. They need to be positioned correctly to ensure safe travel.

And no. If it is a designated pram space then that would be on a first come basis.

Currently sat on the bus a couple of rows back as a young woman/mum is sat in the priority seat. Meanwhile I'm hoping that I don't miss my stop again as the driver can't see that I'm on my way to the front as I need to wait for the bus to stop before standing.

Do people really admit to thinking that adult wheelchair users should be treated as “less than” everyone else? Wow. I honestly didn’t realise that anyone had the balls to actually come on here and say that.

I feel sick reading some of the comments on here because it gives me more insight into what I already suspect; people hate the disabled almost more than any other minority group. I already have agoraphobia due to people’s attitudes towards my wheelchair; shit like this doesn’t help.

Having children is a choice
Having mobility issues is not a choice

@Beelee

Do you use public transport? Buses usually only have space to accommodate 1 wheelchair. They need to be positioned correctly to ensure safe travel. And no. If it is a designated pram space then that would be on a first come basis

Yes. I use public transport, in the past with a buggy and in the past with my Adult Godson in a wheelchair - good enough credentials to be allowed an opinion?! 🙄🙄

But you patronise away..🙄🙄

IF it was a designated Buggy space it would say so, not wheelchair/pram as the OP stated.

Please stop trying to find petty ways to excuse this able bodied woman’s selfish behaviour. She got off easily as the next stop, she could have got off as the wheelchair user got on!

Wow you lot are mean! The poor mum may have just been sleep deprived and not paying attention. It doesn’t excuse her not moving but she may not be a nasty entitled bitch. We’ve all zoned out from time to time!

@gingersausage I have mobility issues but not a wheelchair. I have occasionally had some awful things said to me and one person briefly stalked me. It really does say more about them than it does about you.

Sure, she absolutely could've not noticed a w/c user was getting on, however how the hell was she supposed to miss the rest of the (entirely avoidable if she had moved) kerfuffle

@gingersausage I’m sorry you had to read some of these messages 🌷 - well actually I’m sorry there are such nasty people out there. The logistics of needing to use a wheelchair can make going out difficult enough, without feeling like people are thinking nasty things 😢

Still, silver lining- you might be disabled but you’re not a nasty twat, unlike some others! 😊

...and there are still plenty of us out there not thinking such horrible things and who are happy to help if we can x

Ideally the other mother should have realised what was happening and volunteered to fold her pushchair or got off, wonder if she had headphones in? Though the parent with the newborn should have been asked to fold it once dsis has revealed the disabilities - I had a bus company pass at that age because my dd was autistic so drivers knew she needed to stay in the pushchair

• Having children is a choice Having mobility issues is not a choice*

This true but once you have dc leaving them lying around is frowned upon so taking them with you when you travel isn't so much of a choice.
We need a travel system that works for both people with mobility issues and people with dc. Rather than laying into one woman whose decision making process we will never know how about putting this energy into trying to make sure public transport works for all who need to use it.

Though I would say it is a nightmare for bus drivers, especially if the disabilities aren't obvious (at first in this case) my dd was asked to go upstairs recently on a busy bus by the driver, what he didn't know is that she has crippling anxiety, asd and ocd luckily I was with her and explained the up stairs was not possible, we stood (no problem but the bus goes on a 50 mph road and doesn't really allow standing)

My newborns roam can’t really be folded down. Well, it can, but it takes up even more room when folded.

Well you know maybe campaign for that like Wheel chair users had too Pumkin?

Well you know maybe campaign for that like Wheel chair users had too Pumkin?

Yes this is what I am suggesting. Campaigning for sufficient space for all rather than just shredding each other apart.

I'm guessing it would need to be legally enforceable or you would just end up with the parent parking situation where people think that it isn't actually meant for parents despite the signage to the contrary.

But basically rather than hound the mothers of newly born dc just try and make sure there is enough space for everyone. It has got to be a more productive use of everyone's time and energy.

I have no skin in this game, I don't use public transport that much and never took dc on it as babies.
But it really doesn't sound there are enough wheelchair or buggy spaces from some of the stories on this thread.

As said up thread, there was a time you didn’t have any space on the bus for a pram! We coped, we all carried enough shopping that we knew we could manage, we bought prams that were practical, and not simply fashionable, we used slings, or we walked.. simple! Then it got better where you could get a couple strollers in,but we were all still prepared to fold our prams etc.. it was just the norm. But some of the prams of today, are beyond silly and liken to something you had to work out on the krypton factor to open and close!

This really should be a non issue. Fold your pram if someone in a wheelchair needs it but most people don’t want to even do that they are more concerned about the shopping in the basket that will be an inconvenience for them to carry, or what may happen to their precious so must keep them in their pram when in reality it’s unlikely anything will happen. Millions of parents got by on public transport, with a folded down pram without a scratch on their child’s head and The drivers then were no better than now.

Whenever a thread like this pops up all the wheelchair users say it’s a pain for them due to prams and parent not wanting to make space. It’s a sad state of affairs when people think is acceptable, reasonable, normal, or whatever you want to call it, to knowingly watch someone who has a disability to the point of needing a wheelchair and they literally have only one space on a bus, not have the ability to get on ( and god knows when they will get on a bus) because someone doesn’t want to fold their pram.. I mean come on!

I’ve recently started talking with a bus driver on a very busy commuter route. I know for a fact if a wheelchair user wanted to board and no one was willing to fold their pram ( or get off) he simply would have switched off the bus and no one would be going anywhere until space was made .. he is a rarity!