Who should of got of the bus?

[namechangedforthis09]

Posting this for my Dsis so name changed !

My sister was on the bus yesterday with her DS who is ASD and her DD who has hip dysplasia and is currently in a cast (see pic of google) both her children are disabled and get DLA atm.

There was 2 spaces either side for wheelchair/prams. She was in 1 and on the other was a mum with a newborn, half way to were she was going a wheelchair user gets on and the bus driver asks her to fold her pram, she took her DD blanket of and pointed out her child is disabled and if she wasn't a baby would be in a wheelchair herself instead of a buggy & that she was to heavy to lift/hold on the bus with her ASD son also there.

The bus driver didn't know what to do but continued to say she needed to fold up her buggy, when she asked why the other mum couldn't fold hers he said it was safer for Dsis to hold her child as she was older.

In the end the person in the wheelchair asked Dsis to help her into a seat and she could fold the wheelchair, then to top of the other mum got of at the next stop literally 2 minutes up the road!

Dsis has complained about the bus driver because she feels the other mum should have folded her pram and that he totally ignored the fact she had 2 disabled children with her.

So who was actually in the wrong here? The bus company have asked DSis what she would like to happen and I personally think the bus drivers need better training to deal with these situations.

So the obvious solution is for parents to push for more buggy seats on buses as that meets a need.
Wheelchair users to push for more space as it sounds as though they don't have enough.
Then if everyone else runs out of seats for a more frequent bus service to be pushed for.
Squabbling amongst yourselves as bus users doesn't actually make anything better.

Without knowing the other mum's situation who are you to judge? If she'd had a c section, then she wouldn't be able to told the pram or use a sling. Also you don't ask a stranger to hold your baby what a strange idea. Here's a thought baby is asleep, mum folds down pram, baby wakes and screams for the rest of the journey, cue tutting and moaning from other people.
I don't think anyone was in the wrong really, just busses are badly designed. However I really don't see why the driver is to blame totally not their fault.

There could also be a push for more priority seating in buses if that met an unmet need.

All children are disabled by their nature.

No they aren’t

I’ve recently started talking with a bus driver on a very busy commuter route. I know for a fact if a wheelchair user wanted to board and no one was willing to fold their pram ( or get off) he simply would have switched off the bus and no one would be going anywhere until space was made .. he is a rarity!
I had a bus driver do that once back when dc2 was small enough to use a buggy. The bus was completely packed as it had picked up students from the nearby college. They got off, so did I as I was the driver had already got 3 buggies to squeeze in the spot (more luck as we all had umbrella types). The other two refused to move off. Was fairly joyous to see the next bus arrive mainly empty, let the man in the wheelchair on first but say no buggy space without folding. I was close enough by that point to walk but enjoyed the other two moaning but somehow managing to fold their buggies. I often use this as my example of teenagers being able to be decent when people say they're selfish.

There is a limit to the amount of pram and wheelchair space a bus can have. It also has to have seating downstairs for those who can not make it upstairs. Our buses now have space for 3 ordinary size pushchairs or one wheelchair and one pushchair. All that happens is parents get on with enormous pushchairs so there is only space for 2 of them.

And saying all children are disabled is a bloody silly thing to say. Yes babies can not walk. But they are far more portable than a 12 stone man who can not walk.

@Dangermouse37
Do you understand what it is to be disabled? Ie are disabled and then have first hand knowledge. That comment is really insulting. Babies are unable to walk. Toddlers toddle. My 11 yo is able bodied and has been all her life. I am disabled and have been since pregnancy.

I wonder if there should be a certification scheme for buggies where each possible pram is rated for its compatibility with reasonable bus travel. Prams like @Icantthinkofanynewnames's which either can't easily be folded or take up more space when folded than unfolded get the lowest rating and no endorsement and the bus companies state very clearly in their policy that they make no commitment to accommodate such prams and have no obligation to let you on the bus at all, if you are allowed on at the driver's discretion it will only be with your pre-agreement that you will not be able to continue your journey if the bus fills up. It needs to be made very clear that such prams should only be bought by people who never need to use public transport.

There can then be two or three other grades according to how easy they are to fold one-handed with a baby in your other arm, and how small they pack down.

Bus company policy can explicitly state that they can only guarantee that you will be able to complete your intended journey if your pram is in the top-rated category. In the event of the bus becoming over crowded or a wheelchair user needing space, the pram user with the lowest rating will be asked to get off.

That then creates a market incentive for people who need to use buses to stop buying monster travel systems that take up 3 times as much space as they need to.

There are loads of certification schemes like this that help consumer choice - the fair trade logo, dolphins friendly tuna, the BUAV bunny logo for products not tested on animals. They seem to work.

So the obvious solution is for parents to push for more buggy seats on buses as that meets a need.

I think the obvious thing to do is charge for buggies that are not folded. £10 per buggy, obviously special needs buggies would be exempt.

When DD 1 was a baby, I lived somewhere where there were three buses a day into town. Somehow everyone managed to fold their pushchair then (despite bags of shopping, newborns etc). No one fancied the three hour wait or pushing the pram along a NSL A road while boy racers took advantage of the straights. I had an umbrella stroller for the bus, and the big pushchair for around the village.

To add to the above, DD is now eight. The bus situation is still the same there. That's rural living.

i remember when dd was born, i was post c section, therefore could not drive, had a long walk to baby clinic, along with ds of 2.5 ,put her in the sling then realised it was hot and she had no hat, i considered covering her with a muslin, but her legs!
ended up walking with her in the pram and ds as best he could, if i had a bus journey to contend with as well i think it would have been the last straw.
it is hard being a mum in these situations, we need to cut each other some slack

Yes it is hard being a mum with a new baby. But the physically hard bit lasts a few years. Those who use wheelchairs have the physically hard bit for years and years. And they get very little consideration.

it is hard being a mum in these situations, we need to cut each other some slack

I'm all for things being made easier for new mums.

But not at expense of disabled people.
She was a wheelchair user and had priority for the wheelchair space. The baby with disabilities in a hip /full leg cast had priority too. The other mum with newborn did not.

If you use a bus as a parent, you buy sensibly, a travel system or buggy you can fold down.
The lady in a wheelchair doesn't have that luxury.

Err no.Dangermouse what an ignorant comment all children are not disabled ,im.guessing you don't actually have a disabled child ,I cannot believe people try and compare disability to being a baby

If the other mum was getting off at the next stop then obviously she wasn’t going to go through the hassle of folding her buggy to then have to unfold it literally 30 seconds later when getting off. The situation was something which was difficult for all involved. There doesn’t have to be fault with anyone - it was one of those split second situations where it was difficult to say who right and who was wrong. It happened, and just move on.

No it isn’t difficult to say who was wrong. The mother of the baby who happily stood by and ignored the fact she was leaving a disabled person to struggle, with only the mother of two disabled children helping her, is in the wrong.

i do get fed up with the "cut a bit of slack" as it seems to always be at the expense of the wheelchair user.

yes being a new parent is hard, but it is not as hard as being disabled and in a wheelchair for your whole life.

(and if the mother was getting off at the next stop. why didn't she get off early)

Like is said all the time on MN, we don’t know the other mum’s situation. Maybe she wasnt able to get off the bus a stop early as she has problems with walking the extra distance - poor mobility, recent op, not feeling 100% well, heavy rain. Often distance between stops isn’t just a few hundred yards, so who are we to judge her circumstances? So yes it’s difficult to judge who is right and who is wrong when we don’t have the facts. All three may have their own very valid reasons.

Well.not really Live because regardless of what might of been going on ,s Wheel chair space is just ,that im.not sure why people struggle to understand that .

did you read the op?
this woman allowed a wheelchair user to be put to the bother and may be pain of getting out of her chair and folding it. now that reeks of selfishness to me.

it is hard being a mum in these situations, we need to cut each other some slack

It is hard being a wheelchair user and having to deal with mothers thinking they have the monopoly on a ‘tough’ life.