Partner pays more towards rent so expects me to do all the chores. AIBU?

[Milosunshine]

I’ve lived with my partner for nearly 2 years. It has always been he pays the full rent, gas and electric etc. and I pay the food bill, council tax, tv & broadband. He was the one that suggested it was divided like this.

I do all the housework, cooking and general errands that need running. We both work full time however I am in earlier than him. It’s the second week back from the holidays, I work in a sen school and it’s been quite tiring. He’s pointed out today that the fridge and microwave needs cleaning, I asked could he do it when he gets in from work later and he’s completely lost his shit. He said he pays more of the rent and he shouldn’t be expected to do anything it should be all down to me. I don’t mind doing 90% of the chores, but was I unreasonable to ask just this once if he could help me?

It should never be about who brings in the most money. It should be around hours worked, with some flexibility in place for length of commute, times of high stress and the impact of shifts for those couples where antisocial hours are an issue. You and your DP both work full time so housework should be 50/50.

@FixTheBone has it. It’s about time outside the home working for team household versus available rest time.

Has OP been back?

My father was/is like this but my mum didn't work for 14 years raising me and he paid for everything. She did all cleaning, cooking etc "woman duties". He gave her money for clothes (she shopped designer too lol) but usually it was high street spending like marks and sparks back in the day.

When she started earning she paid for food and her huge shopping habits.
Then it moved to them paying for a lot together.

Did her chores change? No. She still does everything because she always has. Even though she started paying towards stuff.

Don't let partner make his doing less into a habit. Its harder to stop a habit of laziness over years.

In general my father needs someone to do washes if my mum goes away (her father was ill so she left for three weeks) so I had to come every two days, make meals so it has leftovers, do his wash. Or he'd just kinda do bare minimum and look like a tramp. It's not even about getting a cleaner at that point I'd need to get a housekeeper cook maid or whatnot for those weeks she was away. How do you even afford that lol

Nip it in the bud or accept your future.

@Milosunshine Of course YANBU.

As a few posters have said, this will only get worse.

When (if) you have a child together, you will be doing EVERYTHING.

He sounds awful.

LTB.

A cleaner won't change the fact that you live with a selfish nasty pig of a man.

Put your family plans on hold. If he can't treat you as an equal partner - then leave him and find someone who will. Tell him where to shove his flowers

He sounds hideous. I'm so sorry OP.

I wish he would let me pay more than maybe he will consider us equal
his baseline his, foundational belief is that you can never be his equal, he must always be above you and he must always feel himself to be above you
Whatever you do he will work to restore this status quo, he will work to bring the situation back to what he likes and what he enjoys which is him Tarzan you Jane.

Nip this in the bud now OP.

It's wrong on every level.

You're not a skivvy.

And NO healthy relationship works like that.

Fuck that.

You do not need such a sexist arsehole in your life and imagine what he would be like with a daughter.

Get rid!!

I find it almost painful to read your posts.

Who convinced you that you should expect this level of drudgery and disrespect, taking it with quiet acceptance while he swans about like King Dick.

You need to find your anger and tell him to fuck off.
You could find someone who actually deserves you because he sure as shit doesn't.

I'd be telling my soon to be ex husband to drop dead.twice