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AIBU?

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To be furious with this text!

279 replies

Caramelblonde70 · 12/09/2019 22:47

I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I've been dating a guy for nearly 5 months. He is in the process of divorce and has 3DC. I'm divorced and have been on my own with my 4 year old DS for 2.5 years. We've been getting on really well and feelings are developing and we're getting closer too. I decided it was time for him to meet my little boy so we all went out for pizza together at the beginning of the week. I thought it went really well! My son thought new guy was funny and it was lovely to see them getting on. After the lunch we went our separate ways home. 15 minutes later my guy texted to say ffs he'd missed his train home and would be late picking his sons up. I said did he want us to give him a lift home (he lives in a different town about 12 miles away) and he declined. I said I thought the lunch was a success. No reply. After pushing for a response he said he wasn't going to lie but it was hard for him seeing me with my son, that he was very affectionate towards me and he couldn't see there was room for him! He said hes used to just being with me and having all my attention. I was completely shocked at this admission. We've barely spoken since but I raised the subject again this evening and he said a relationship should have balance and basically that's where we differ as he wouldn't necessarily put his kids first and that he'd weigh up all the factors! I said my boy will always come first and he replied saying he didn't like the sound of that and that's what his soon to be ex wife used to say! WTAF?! I'm upset but my anger is out weighing this! What do you all think? Hes 46 btw and a Dad which is why I'm even more shocked.

OP posts:
Boswellisdead · 13/09/2019 15:36

first for once

ONCE?? That pillock thinks he should be put first at all times! Euch, I can feel my vagina drying out and shrivelling in horror.

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 13/09/2019 15:37

It's always the ones who go on about what great guys they are that are actually the absolute opposite, IME! Judge the behaviour, not the words!

You've dodged a massive bullet there OP.

everyonecaneffoff · 13/09/2019 15:40

He added he cant be with someone who doesn't have his back or love and care for him unconditionally and just when it suits them!

Good, then he's found out now after 5 months that you aren't right for him so he can move on.
Send him one more text saying "We're clearly not compatible" and then block him.

Boswellisdead · 13/09/2019 15:46

Oh god yes, the whole "Nice guys like me always get screwed over" shtick.
a) No, they don't
b) Maybe you're not as nice as you think

Vanhi · 13/09/2019 15:47

He added he cant be with someone who doesn't have his back or love and care for him unconditionally

Well love is very rarely unconditional although the love between parents and children comes closest to that. Which is why he had a problem seeing how you were with your son.

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 13/09/2019 15:50

Lucky escape, op. Lucky escape!

chickenninja · 13/09/2019 15:52

Just send him a link to this thread, let him read what everyone thinks of his attitude.. then block. What a tosser.

ColaFreezePop · 13/09/2019 15:53

He added he cant be with someone who doesn't have his back or love and care for him unconditionally

Then he's going to be lonely for a long long time.....

57lady · 13/09/2019 16:01

Your darling little boy is a baby. Honestly, by the time he's 25 you'll realise how little time you've deliberately set aside to give him your full attention, and you WILL regret not putting him before EVERYONE especially yourself. Children "like" anyone who gives them attention and mucks about to make them laugh. This is superficial. Your son's well-being and safety is your priority and your full time mission until this little guy can look after himself (and probably you too!). Forget the 'relationships ' concentrate on raising happy, healthy well adjusted child. Men on heat are ten a penny, your child is your world and can never be replaced .put so called romance right out of your mind and one day the guy that you're ready to meet will be also ready to meet you. Have friends, not 'boyfriends ' and enjoy your favourite guy for the very short time you have him all to yourself!!

BeepBeeep · 13/09/2019 16:01

I just hope any future women he meets has the same common sense as you have OP.
He sounds like the type that you read about who ends up abusing and killing the women's child.
You and your child are worth someone special, not someone who should have been a stain on a wanksock.

Worlds0kayestmum · 13/09/2019 16:05

57lady have you actually read the thread??

simplekindoflife · 13/09/2019 16:08

I'm shocked this manchild has actually admitted feeling like this so blatantly?! And demand that you put him over your son?! Shameless!

So glad he showed his real self before you got any further into the relationship... what a selfish, immature weirdo!

MeetMeInMontauk · 13/09/2019 16:11

I think this thread basically outlines what happens when incels hit middle age.

sqirrelfriends · 13/09/2019 16:14

Good thing you found this out sooner rather than later.

I wonder if he would have been ok with his mother putting a BF before him? Hmm

WizardOfAus · 13/09/2019 16:22

Please send him the link to this thread

CandyLeBonBon · 13/09/2019 16:27

@57lady she's a mum. Not a nun.

And try reading the full thread Confused

MRex · 13/09/2019 16:30

What a fuckwit the man is to be jealous of a child. You're very well rid of that one OP.

BumbleBeee69 · 13/09/2019 16:34

Block the PRICK. Flowers

Didiusfalco · 13/09/2019 16:42

Ahh, he’s re-writing the narrative to suit him. If you find yourself wavering have a look at this thread. Everybody is right - he’s a self centred prick. Block him and enjoy your time with your lovely son.

MzHz · 13/09/2019 16:48

I absolutely guarantee this was a test to see if you’d fall for what would be abusive bullshit

Your red flags fluttered, and rightly so

Bin him totally, block and roll on with the rest of your life

You’ve learned a great lesson today.

Make sure he’s history

TanselleTooTall · 13/09/2019 16:54

Cor, he is deluded and sounds insufferable! I'd be sorely tempted to troll him. How the bloody hell has he managed through his adult years expecting unconditional position of number one?! Study him for science!

Sagradafamiliar · 13/09/2019 17:05

He is utterly pathetic and self-absorbed. Mememememe.
Oh please block him. Blast his ego. He deserves it. He'll be sat frantically typing out memememe texts then realise he can't send them anymore 😂

YouTheCat · 13/09/2019 17:42

Gaslighting too! What a catch!

Lucky escape.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 13/09/2019 17:46

How often does he see his children? I bet he's one of those dads who try to arrange LESS access rather than more.

Theendofmyrope · 13/09/2019 17:47

@57lady Oh do go away FFS. What a bucket full of utter bollox.

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