To ask How long is it reasonable to wait before it’s CF?

[2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney]

Cheeky fuckery.
We were planning a weekend away and I booked 2 rooms in hotel. Paid upfront. One person had to drop out leaving a spare room. Another couple we are friends with, and also invited to event too , took the room instead.

Morning after, politely told them cost and how they could reimburse. Few embarrassed shuffles

One week later polite reminder email sent. Bit of a short PA reply but implied they were aware of need to reimburse.
Still nothing.

Fuming inside. AIBU

Friend clearly didn’t want to pay at all and his GF stepped in and paid (their breakfast)

How utterly embarrassing - hopefully the GF will learn from this just as you have

From all you've said I'm not convinced CF would have paid up even if your DH had been crystal clear; ot seems he's the type to grab whatever's going and no doubt he'd have found some excuse

Still, at least you've got fair warning for the future ...

Ouch, £35pp for breakfast is steep!

The thing is, we can't expect everybody to have the same morals and manners as us. You just have to read all the threads on here to see that they vary wildly, so where money is concerned, it needs to be explicit up front.

Personally, I wouldn't have accepted the invitation, without knowing how much I needed to pay for the room first. I also wouldn't have paid £35pp for breakfast, although if I'd been asked along to breakfast, I wouldn't have expected it to be that expensive, so would have gone with you, and when I saw the prices, would have only got something cheaper (assuming it wasn't a set price).

I think you're going to have to up the cost. It shouldn't be you chasing it anyway, it's your DH's friend, it's because of him, that this has happened.

Argh, my keyboard is having problems, it keeps not registering my typing! I meant to say "You're going to have to suck up the cost".

Ouch, £35pp for breakfast is steep!
It was £35 per couple, not pp.

Friend is a piss taker.

Well, lesson learned and everything OP but honestly, regardless if the miscommunication originally, having been asked several times to pay up, they do have quite the nerve to just.. not.

£35 per couple for breakfast.

Friend clearly is like dhs friend. He’s cringe worthily stingy. He went to stay with mutual (more wealthy) friends and sat on his hands for a fortnight while they fed him and took him out for meals at naice restaurants. He wanted to return a couple of years ago and funnily enough the answer was no. This is the same friend, who used to come to parties at our house with a few beers for himself, drink our booze, eat our food and return home with any bottles including the empties (to collect the circa 5p deposit on the bottles). They seem to be Teflon coated and nothing will make them sway.

You could get your DH to send them something like this by email:

Hi CF Friend,
I've just received my credit card bill and realized that I must have forgotten to mention to you that the charge for the room when we stayed at X hotel was Y per night. I'm sorry if you were under the impression that we were going to comp you the room. We can't do that. Can we settle up the costs over the next few days as I need to clear the credit card as soon as possible."
See how that goes.
If they cough up, brilliant. If they don't, you at least know that they really are CF and not to be so vague in the future.

DH did communication beforehand not me. The cost wasn’t discussed

Who, out of you or dh, did the 'you owe us xx amount' chat the following morning? And who wrote the polite email a week later reminding them?

Sorry I think you already said it was you op. In which case, I'm afraid, although they are takers, they did so because your dh seems to willingly allow them to. You let him handle the invitation to use (for free or otherwise) the hotel room and you need to let him deal (or not) with this now. I'd personally write off the cost and never have them in my space again. I cannot abide tight fuckers.

@PuppyMonkey is right - yes, there may have been miscommunication at the beginning, but a) why wouldn't you ask how much you owed, if you were offered a hotel room, and b) the OP and her dh have asked for the money, so the other couple DO now know that they are expected to pay for the room - so they are cheeky fuckers for not asking if they owed the money and for not paying up now they have been asked!!

It was £35 per couple, not pp.

Ah thanks. I misread. It's still a little bit steep though (in my world), I'd only usually pay around a tenner each!

@Motoko it is fairly pricey but probably quite standard for a 'nice' breakfast (at least in this area).

£17.50 each is fairly easy to add up to if you had something like an Eggs Benedict or Royale for £9-12, a nice coffee (£2.50 - £3.50) and maybe a juice or a smoothie (£3-4ish)

@2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney If your DH didn't mention money beforehand and you only asked the morning after the night they stayed, I would be annoyed - because the implication was it was free.

Both of you were rather silly not to mention the room fee before they used the room.

As for breakfast- £35 for 2 for £17-50 for breakfast? That seems pretty steep. Premier Inn is around a tenner for a full buffet and coffee, eat as much as you like.

Find it hard to believe a chain hotel charged £35 for 2 breakfasts unless it was a la carte and each item priced separately.

You and your DH seem a bit PA to be honest. You would be far better off asking and talking about money on the day when these things happen.

At breakfast all you had to say was 'this is the bill for breakfast, do you have the cash on you and if not there is a cash point blah blah or drop it off for us at home later...'

Sorry but you think the friends are cheeky; you both come over as socially inept.

Did the conversation about paying for the room happen before or after the breakfast?

@JinglingHellsBells
They didn't eat at the hotel. They ate breakfast at a different place after checking out from the hotel. Lots of nice breakfast places cost about £20 each.

Under no circumstances would you expect someone else to pay for your hotel room. They are being cheeky and rude. Tell them you need it paid ASAP. If they say they can't- say no room then.

I wouldn’t even keep over thinking it .. they are CF and they owe you money and they know it ... just ask them outright .. who expects a hotel room for free ... my dear OP .. they are taking the piss !

I would send a last message as say as discussed we are still awaiting payment for the room you used on the weekend. Thanks

Regardless of what your DH said they are still very much CF for not offering to pay without being asked.

And if DH had said something that made it actively sound like you were offering them a free room, they were then vv CF for not paying for your breakfast.

So either way, unpleasant CF.

Some Men find the topic of discussing money embarrassing, and often dumb down or fluff the exercise; that said! extreme care needs to be taken when asking friends to join you in an event such as holiday breaks, the theatre etc. This is analogous to cold callers, whereby an event is sprung on them which they feel compelled to except, but which they would not have budgeted for. Lots of discussion and fees need to be paid in advance, or except you may not get paid. Don’t let it ruin your friendship

I think it all falls on your DH sadly . If someone phoned me up a few days before I was going somewhere and said I’ve got a spare room do you want it. Then I would assume they were offering it to me as they would lose the money anyway as it was too late for them to cancel. If I could afford it I would offer to pay but if it was an expense that I wasn’t expecting and was made out to me as spare and going to waste otherwise I wouldn’t . As for breakfast maybe they didn’t offer to pay for both as £70 is a lot of money if they were just planning on going home after the event and they were invited out for breakfast so could only afford their own. Some people need time to save up for extras like hotel rooms and expensive breakfasts.

What adult in the UK expects to have their hotel room paid for?

If it was presented as the room having been paid for, and either you occupied it or it would sit empty, I think quite a few people would assume it was a freebie.

Your dh did not make it clear so he should now ask for money not you. Don't trust him to do this sort of thing in future, if you want it doing properly do it yourself.

Surely whether you thought the room was free or not you would still offer some kind of money or otherwise to reimburse the persons offering it. If they then declined that then fair enough. However if said persons had declined the payment for the room I would not have let them decline my paying for breakfast as a way of thank you.