To ask How long is it reasonable to wait before it’s CF?

[2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney]

Cheeky fuckery.
We were planning a weekend away and I booked 2 rooms in hotel. Paid upfront. One person had to drop out leaving a spare room. Another couple we are friends with, and also invited to event too , took the room instead.

Morning after, politely told them cost and how they could reimburse. Few embarrassed shuffles

One week later polite reminder email sent. Bit of a short PA reply but implied they were aware of need to reimburse.
Still nothing.

Fuming inside. AIBU

How did your DH phrase the 'offer'? From their reply to you it does sound like they know they need to pay so perhaps it was more obvious than you think.

Breakfast situation definitely cheeky fucker territory.

Sorry but if someone said do you want this room/ticket/sandwich that’s going spare, and didn’t mention a cost, I’d assume they were giving it for free because it was paid for and it was a shame to waste it. They should have paid for their own breakfast though not yours necessarily.

Have you managed to access the emails yet, OP?

It’s been a couple of days now

You don’t stay over night anywhere and expect not to pay unless you are a CF. I but straight with them and again ask for the cost and deadline it- if you loose ‘friendship’ so be it.... who wants freeloading friends? Ps you could always suggest instalments if it was THAT expensive.....

is your husband getting worked up over it- or just you? If they are his friends, why is he not talking to them?
This.is your husband actually bothered about this or is it just you getting in a twist

I have been in a situation before where a friend asked me if i wanted to go for a night out in a nearby town because her frjend had booked a hotel and didnt need it anymore but it was non refundable and therefore he was letting her use it for free. I agreed but when we arrived she said he had now asked for a contribution of £30 each, i was pretty pissed off with that as i had no intention of booking a room at all.

I think unless it is clearly agreed you really cant ask them after the event. They may have preferred a different hotel or an airbnb they could get cheaper. If it was offeredd as spare that suggests you dont want money for it as it would go to waste otherwise. This may be why they were reluctant to pay for breakfast after being landed with a shock £80 bill.

You don’t stay over night anywhere and expect not to pay unless you are a CF
I disagree. People often give things away for free rather than waste them. Last year we had tickets for a show followed by an overnight hotel stay, but just when we were due to leave our DC became ill and was taken to hospital. It was too late to sell the tickets so we gave them to our friends for free rather than waste them. It’s a fairly common thing to do.

Even if I assumed the room was going for free, I would still check by asking how much I owed.... Anything else is cheeky fuckery, end of

Have you managed to access the emails yet, OP?

It’s been a couple of days now smile

That’s very unfair- do you really expect OP to out herself as the (inadvertent) cheeky fucker

If you think they thought it was going to be free (because of DH vagueness), but you’re going to be out of pocket, I’d ask them for a contribution towards it. Maybe not the whole amount (if they wouldn’t have paid that otherwise) though. But then again the breakfast thing would piss me off too, so on the other hand, yeah ask for the full amount!

You just need to say "sorry if you thought the room was free. We really don't have £80 to spare so we offered the room as we thought you'd appreciate the cheaper rate we got it for, rather than us paying a cancellation fee. We'd be really grateful if you could pay your share, as like we've said, we really don't have that sort of money to spare."

We'd be really grateful if you could pay your share, as like we've said, we really don't have that sort of money to spare

Except they do. Because they planned to pay for the room anyway before their relative dropped out.

Well clearly DH email did not set out or raise any expectation that they would have to pay so he is totally at fault here.

Regarding this friends form for being tight - if that is the case, why on earth did you invite him of all people?

Sorry but you only have yourselves to blame here. This is a known CF but you still exposed yourselves to this.

Surely they would have lost the full rate for the room at such short notice ? Depends if they paid for the cheapest fare or not. So they would have lost the money regardless.

Whether or not your DH stated the room cost beforehand or not - you have asked them for money and they have ignored you, yes? They haven't come back with "we thought it was free" or "your DH said he'd pay for it" or any other sort of mitigation - they have just ignored your request for payment. That's what makes it cheeky fuckery.

I can imagine the reverse: My friends offered me a hotel room at short notice, they said it was going spare and didn’t ask for any money. Then the following day they asked me to pay for the room! I don’t have the money and wouldn’t have gone if I’d known I had to pay. They’d have lost their money anyway if I hadn’t gone. AIBU to not pay them?

Sorry OP but you are BU to offer them the room without mentioning any payment, then wait until they’ve used the room (and it’s too late for them to say no) and ask them to pay. The full amount too, not just the amount you’d have got back if you’d cancelled!

From what you’ve said I assume you booked both rooms as “advanced purchase” which means no refunds or changes to the booking. I often do this but am aware that the reason it is cheaper is because you won’t get any money back if you don’t use the room!
To be honest, you shouldn’t book anyone else a room, in this kind of situation, without them paying you when you make the booking!

Your dh has said there is a room going spare, as there was. Irrespective of whether it was used or not, the cost was the same and had already been paid.
Perfectly feasible that they thought it was a freebie, especially as dh did not say how much the room cost! You let them go away with you, still not mentioning how much the cost is and that you expect them to pay. Would you go away with someone without finding out how much it was going to cost you?? Don’t think very many people would, unless money didn’t really matter to them, which is very obviously not the case in this situation. To wait until they have used, what they thought was a “freebie”, then announce how much money you want off them makes you the CFs! I can imagine that they were then really annoyed that you had “tricked” them into going!

YABVVU. Really think that you need to phone them and apologise for springing it on them that you expected them to pay

To be honest, you shouldn’t book anyone else a room, in this kind of situation, without them paying you when you make the booking
@playmytune If you read the whole thread, the OP said the 2nd room was for a 'dependent'. Now I assume this was a teenager or younger child or an adult relative they were paying for.

The dependent couldn't go because of work, so s/he was an adult.

The dependent couldn't go because of work, so s/he was an adult.

So the room would have went to waste.I think its better @2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney friends used the room.

And if they are cfs,why invite them.They have form,you know what they are like.Its not like it was a big shock.

Well OP, has your friend been in touch or made any effort to pay the money owed?

Or more accurately the money you think is owed?