To ask How long is it reasonable to wait before it’s CF?

[2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney]

Cheeky fuckery.
We were planning a weekend away and I booked 2 rooms in hotel. Paid upfront. One person had to drop out leaving a spare room. Another couple we are friends with, and also invited to event too , took the room instead.

Morning after, politely told them cost and how they could reimburse. Few embarrassed shuffles

One week later polite reminder email sent. Bit of a short PA reply but implied they were aware of need to reimburse.
Still nothing.

Fuming inside. AIBU

I think it depends entirely how it was initially framed...

X has dropped out.. The room is paid for and is going to be empty... Why don't you use it?
Happened to me a couple of times....both times asked how much would I be expected to pay.... As neither place was a place I would ever be interesting in going and paying a couple of hundred for.. Although did have 'benefit of' the break

Both times shocked retort... Nothing...!! So I paid for a meal and flowers.

OR
X has dropped out. We've already paid for room.. Would you be willing to take this over? (8 would then be clear I was expected to pay market rate)

I agree that your DH dropped the ball - he needed to be much clearer about the cost, especially if they've got form for CFery.

I don't think it's unreasonable for them to have thought you were gifting them the room to stop it going to waste. That said, in their shoes I'd have paid up as soon as the misunderstanding came to light rather than just dodge requests for payment.

Send a message saying along the lines of 'sorry to email again, just to let you know my credit card bill for the hotel room is due on x date so please could you let me have the money before then so there isn't any interest to pay on it' (dont say so there isn't any interest for 'me' to pay on it!)

That's a credible reason for giving a due date without coming across as you don't think they're going to pay at all.

You do need a plan if they come back and say we cant afford it that quick, we thought it was a freebie though. Sounds like your DH ballsed up tbh.

Your DH sounds like a wet lettuce. Is he 'reticent' about being clear in other contexts, like work

No he is not usually, just with this friend. Many , many years ago there was a teenage incident that I think DH feels guilty about.

Hederex
The actual cost needed to be mentioned up front, because however reticent your DH might be, this situation is far more awkward

Yes I agree!

Who goes away on a weekend and doesn't expect to have to pay for the room they stay in? That in itself is cfery, never mind ignoring the reminders for the payment xx

😂 didn't mean to put the xx at the end

Hmmmm some Cheeky fuckery game playing is what's going on here

DP wishy washy approach wasn't fab to be fair, but CF friend had form for this previously you said? Therefore CF friend would need it spelling loud & clear preferably over paper trail that '£££ Payment for room is required'
DP didn't particularly make this clear with wishy washy approach, even though in an ideal world with ideal friends, DP's initial wishy washy approach would suffice & ideal friends would ask of cost & reimburse promptly. What you are dealing with here is not in an ideal world nor are the other couple ideal friends They are scummy lowlife cheeky fuckers that jumped upon an opportunity to fudge you out of free accommodation. The fact that there were awkward shuffles morning after when you mentioned it proved that you exposed their cheeky fuckery expectations. I doubt that you will get the £££ back as any normal non CF friend would have apologised for the crossed wires & settled up by now. The CF's know what they have done & they have milked it.

I can't advise who to be pissed with the most OP, as with normal non CF friends DP's approach would have been all that was needed to prompt reimbursement. But we aren't talking about normal non CF folk here are we as they have past form for this?!

I would be livid. And would probably text/email telling them that they are CF's and to piss off with their £££ gained & just cut them off.

No adults expect a free stay in a hotel anywhere, you are correct, they've clearly took the piss.

I'd tell your DH 'Look, you didn't speak up about the cost and now you've got me chasing them. I'm not here to do your dirty work. So I'm out, either you chase them up for it and get them to stump up or we'll just have to suck this one up but I'm not inviting them again because you know damn well they take the piss.'

Well, unless we know how DH worded it, we have no idea.

Problem is this is one of DH oldest friends

The only CF i see here is your relative.They got you to book and pay for a room and then dropped out.Why not chase them for payment.Your original agreement was with them.

And in your DH never mentioned money for the room,how would the other couple know.Unless they are psychic.

I would put this one down to a mistake but you know the next time,you deal with it.

Your DH is to blame, as he should’ve been clear about costs upfront.

However, if I was the other couple and had misunderstood this situation and was told the price of the room etc, I would pay. So they are all in the wrong.

Your DH caused the situation, the CFers are exacerbating it by not just sucking it up and paying.

I think you need to actually see the email chain and look at it objectively- was it ambiguous?

If so, I'd call and say you get the impression that they thought the room had already been paid for and that you were offering for free and, if this was the case you're sorry for the misunderstanding and are willing to just forget about it and move on.

Relative is a dependent so no wouldn't chase for money. However plan B was to offer room to other friends who might want to stay in that city and recoup that way.

Love a good CF thread OP 😂 ( sorry not making light of the situation as I would be livid )

Throw them to the dogs here on MN & send them a link/screenshots of the thread & then sit back & enjoy exposing their cheeky fuckery & imagine how embarrassed they would feel 👋🏻

Hope they enjoyed their free stay .... fucking spongers!

Copy them both into an emait, text or whatver it is you use. Tell them both to sort themselves out as your credit card won't pay itself off... £XXX needs to be paid!

So, you originally paid for both rooms with no expectation of getting money back for the second, then offered it to a friend expecting them to pay the full price for the room?

If they wanted to go that much, op, they could've just booked and paid full price on a day they actually chose. I think, if you didn't make it explicit how much the room would cost and that you'd be expecting them to pay it, you may be a CF.

Was there an event on that they were also attending? Or, is it a very sought after hotel that is difficult to book? I mean, where was the benefit for them to take on an unwanted room at the time and place of someone else's convenience?

I can kind of see, especially if your dh was a bit limp about the whole thing, why they may have thought that they wouldn't be paying full whack for this room.

They decided to come to event nearer to the date. Because hotel was booked a couple of months in advance the price was much cheaper than they could get it for. Not a fancy place just a chain.

Not wanting to drip feed but morning after we chose to eat away from hotel . If they thought they were getting hotel free wouldn’t you offer to pay for breakfast? ( and not wait there expecting us to pay for that too!)

How much money are we talking about here? The fact that the price wasn’t mentioned says to me that they thought that the room had been paid for. Otherwise the obvious question that anyone would ask would be ‘how much does it cost’. If they didn’t ask the cost then your oh hasn’t told them they were paying

"A dependent"?

we're not exactly big spenders, but if I dropped out of something and mum invited a friend instead, I can imagine she'd just give the room away.

now wondering why the dependent dropped out. Why is it wrong to take their money but not your friends' money?

I think it's really bad form OP, you should find out what's happened here, maybe you owe the friends an apology. They could be scrabbling around to find money they didn't know they owed.

That last bit about breakfast has just occurred to me!

I don't think they are the ones being CF.

As I understand you, this was an event you were all going to (wedding? reunion? whatever?) and you and relative decided to book hotels rooms and stay over. DH's friends also attending. Relative dropped out. Rather than cancel the room or ask relative for payment, your DH offered it as going spare to his friend who says, great, thanks.

No mention of "would you want to pay for this," no "we've got a spare room at £xx, do you want to pay for it or should I just cancel?" If I'd got a room I'd paid for and couldn't get a refund, I'd offer it to a mate for free, naturally - it's a sunk cost and they may as well benefit. Indeed, this happened to me this summer with a room I couldn't use.

At breakfast the next day you spring them with a demand for cash. No wonder they looked awkward. They weren't planning on staying over until your DH offered and suddenly find they'd got themselves a financial commitment they hadn't agreed to.

Breakdown in communication. Be cross with relative, be cross with DH, be cross with hotel that wouldn't let you cancel and get a refund. But you can NEVER ask for money retrospectively. You agree up front or you shoulder the cost.

So originally you werent looking for the money off your "dependent".But they dropped out and now you want the money off the couple.

Why,you had written the money off anyway.I think you are coming across as the CF.

Is "dependent" your child?