You are not being unreasonable, that is definitely racist imo. What if the child was Chinese and adopted, would the teacher refuse to give the child to the legal adoptive parents? It is judging by skin colour (which in today's day of mixed race families, is racist. I have to be honest, I would be marching down to that teacher and read her the riot act. Because, if he is listed on the contacts, she could have checked, and then there would have been no need for that awkward moment.
A similar story from a mother who is of Indian heritage and who lost her child in a supermarket is here; and like the teacher, the store manager judged on the colour and judged that Nama could not possibly be the boys' mother (putting aside what that insinuates about adoptive parents and what they most go through). www.mamamia.com.au/single-parent-story
^ There was the time I lost Winston in a shop, when he was two years old. As I was heading to the front desk to get his name called out, they announced they had a child waiting in the manager’s office.
But when I went to claim him, they wouldn’t let me see him. “He’s not your child,” the manager told me.
I remember looking around and thinking, well, no one else is claiming this kid, and I have a missing kid, so…
“Please let me see him,” I implored.
“This child is not yours,” was the repeated response. “He doesn’t look like you.”
Almost hysterical by this point, I darted into the office – and of course, there was Winston. Another time, when Winston was about five, he flew off a flying fox. I was consoling him in the dirt, letting him wipe his snotty nose on my top, and a random dad came up to ask Winston directly, “Where’s mummy? Do you want me to find your mum?”
Seriously, dude. Do you think I’d be sitting in the dirt letting some kid’s bodily fluids smoosh into my shirt if I wasn’t legally obliged to do so?
There was also the time when we were checking in on an international flight and despite our passports, the airline lady insisted on calling her supervisor right in front of us and explaining her concern that we didn’t look like mother and son.
That was one of the scariest experiences of my life: our relationship being questioned like that when we were travelling. I was so worried they were going to call the authorities; luckily, the supervisor was satisfied by our passports.
But to be honest, the damage was done. Winston was old enough at the time to understand what was happening, and it’s something he’s never forgotten, either. He was also old enough to understand when someone asked me at the shops if I was helping him find his mum, and when a waiter in a restaurant asked if I was his nanny.
He also remembers the time a lady who sat next to us at the movies, asked if he was adopted – and I answered, “no, but he’d be even more treasured if he were.” And hopefully, because of them, more people will accept that, especially in 2019 and into the future, family isn’t defined by pigmentation or superficial appearance, or race.
So please, next time you see a family that doesn’t look like the ‘typical’ family, take a moment to think of me and my son who may not at first glance look like I made, but whom I most definitely did.
I even have the C-section scar to prove it." ^