AIBU to ask friend to remove her dog from the room when I visit with my child?

[BadBehaviour]

I’ve recently had a baby and I have been taking my baby to see friends, one friend has quite a large breed of dog. I have asked her before I visit to remove the dog from the room temporarily whilst we are there. She’s agreed but when I turn up she hasn’t done it, nor is she willing to.

I understand it’s her home if she wants her dog in every room that’s her right. I just end up leaving as I will not take my baby inside. She refuses to meet up elsewhere.

So AIBU to ask her to remove her dog from the room we are in temporarily?

Thanks guys

Control their pet that has tried to remove itself from the situation and has been cornered by some unsupervised brat?

True colours,eh? What a charmer you are. Nevertheless "brats" are humans and matter, dogs don't.

Yanbu
Your "friend" is.
I really wouldn't bother visiting her.

"True colours,eh? What a charmer you are. Nevertheless "brats" are humans and matter, dogs don't."

🤣 Well I don't have a dog but if I did you better believe it would be more important to me than your child, and if you can't stop them following my dog under a table then I will... only because I'd be worried about what would happen to my dog when it finally decided it had enough.

People will always take objection to being asked to move their dogs because people get very funny about dogs.
It's all situation dependent.
A friend saying they're really scared of dogs and rather than do anything to address the fear/phobia expects everything to cater around it, probably going to be a bit unreasonable.

A friend who's scared of dogs but asks for them to be in another room to start with whilst being open to short meetings over time with a well behaved dog isn't unreasonable (that's what DH did with his dog when we were just friends and I was scared of dogs and would freeze up).

Someone who has zero issue with a dog but decides that now they have a baby that's going to be nowhere near the dog and won't be left unattended, but now thinks the dog should be shut in a different room is being unreasonable.

Someone who asks for the dog to be kept back when they first arrive with kids because the dog is known to be bouncy - totally reasonable

Someone who thinks it's fine for their toddler to chase a dog under a table when it's already trying to get away from the child they CBA to parent responsibly and that it's the dog who needs removing or is at fault for being scared - totally unreasonable

Expecting a dog to be appropriately trained - reasonable

Expecting a dog to be immaculate and calm when your toddler is running at them, screaming doggie, chasing them, grabbing their face - unreasonable

Well I don't have a dog but if I did you better believe it would be more important to me than your child, and if you can't stop them following my dog under a table then I will... only because I'd be worried about what would happen to my dog when it finally decided it had enough.

Give your head a wobble, you're frothing at the mouth.

"Give your head a wobble, you're frothing at the mouth."

You forgot the tinkly laugh. 🙄

Well I don't have a dog but if I did you better believe it would be more important to me than your child, and if you can't stop them following my dog under a table then I will... only because I'd be worried about what would happen to my dog when it finally decided it had enough.

Well I don't have a dragon, but when I do you'd better not chase it under the table.

WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS??!!

Hmmmm why did that particular dog bite a toddler I wonder?? I can't possibly imagine why? It is a mystery. There's no way that anyone could have stopped that from happening is there? hmm

Maybe, just maybe, the toddler should have been stopped from terrorising the poor dog?!

Dogs and toddlers are not a million miles apart in terms of behaviour because they can’t verbally reason and are not always obidenient.

When ever there a small children and animals around both the parents and pet owners have a duty to make sure the dog and the child are in a safe environment and not in situations frightened or spooked.

Generally in my experience this is usually worked around sensibly by both the parents and the owners. Unless the child and the dog are going to be together frequently there is no need for them to become used to each other. Keeping them separate is far, far more advisable than unnecessarily mixing them when there is no need. The dog can go in the garden, the OP could visit without her child.

I think most people know that neither toddlers or dogs can be kept control of 100% of the time and sometimes accidents happen and a moment’s distraction can have out of proportion consequences.

I like dogs. I like small children. And because I like them both I think they shouldn’t be mixed without a great deal of care. If they’re not it generally has bad outcomes for the toddlers and dogs, not the people who decided to put them together.

When ever there a small children and animals around both the parents and pet owners have a duty to make sure the dog and the child are in a safe environment and not in situations frightened or spooked.
I agree. So if a dog has ran under the table that's probably a good moment for the parent to take responsibility for their child and stop them cornering the dog. That way the owner can sort the dog out once th immediate threat in the dog's eyes has gone.

I fully believe that small children and dogs should be kept apart so I always ask anyone visiting with young children to please leave them in another room.

My dogs are fine with that

In the real world my house. My dogs. My rules.

"Well I don't have a dragon, but when I do you'd better not chase it under the table.

WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS??!!"

???

I always find situations like this really easy!

I will happily remove my dog when you come and visit but I expect the same courtesy and you can remove your child when I visit

@Pollypenguin01

I think most of us have heard about dangerous dogs who attack children, scarring them for life or even killing them. How is anyone to know that your precious fur-baby is one of the good guys?

I agree. So if a dog has ran under the table that's probably a good moment for the parent to take responsibility for their child and stop them cornering the dog.

You do realise that you're talking about a child who has had their face bitten off by a dog, don't you? Vile. I honestly can't think of any other way to describe you. You are talking about a severely injured child. Cop a hold of yourself.

I am surprised to hear a Boxer/Staffie cross described as a "large dog" for starters.

I think you are bothe BU. Nothing has happened with regards to the dog and your baby. The dog might completely ignore it.

You say your friend doesn't like meeting elsewhere - this seems rather odd. If she never socialises outside her home at all, which seems unlikely to be honest, then maybe you just accept this friendship is over.

Your baby is an infant? Unless you’re laying it on the floor and walking away I can’t see how the dog would even get near it. I agree she should accommodate you, and I would, but I also think you’re overreacting quite a lot.

You do realise that you're talking about a child who has had their face bitten off by a dog, don't you? Vile. I honestly can't think of any other way to describe you. You are talking about a severely injured child. Cop a hold of yourself.
You do realise it's possible to think an injury is terrible and sad whilst still discussing whether it's reasonable for a parent to allow a child to corner an animal who is trying to remove themselves from a situation?

Let's think of another situation:
Parent is visiting a friend. Toddler chases dog and dog runs away. There's some nesting tables in the front room in the corner. Dog runs under them. Parent is busy enjoying a cuppa and despite seeing the child chasing the dog does nothing because they're a toddler. At the point we press pause on this scene, the toddler is grabbing at the dog who is hiding under the table in the corner.

Is the parent out of order for passively allowing their child to harass a dog who is now frightened backed into a corner?

"You do realise that you're talking about a child who has had their face bitten off by a dog, don't you? Vile. I honestly can't think of any other way to describe you. You are talking about a severely injured child. Cop a hold of yourself."

Jesus. Christ. Almighty.

I say this because recently there was a thread where loads of people claimed it was impossible to prevent their toddler from grabbing at dogs' faces in the park, that they can't be responsible for their toddler running up to unknown dogs who are minding their own business with their owners, they can't help but charge up to dogs yelling doggie and all these people seemed to think this lack of responsibility was totally ok because they're a toddler.

Yet in bettjng they don't allow their child to chase ducks into rivers. I bet they don't allow their child to run up behind a horse and say boo! I bet they don't allow their child to run into traffic because "they're curious".

Dog owners have a responsibility.
Parents have a responsibility.

No, I don't think it's " reasonable" to "discuss" ways in which a child who has had its face ripped off by a dog is "responsible" for that happening, particularly given that dogs are neither essential nor necessary for human civilization, and actually I am repulsed and appalled that you would suggest such a thing. Seriously. You have a dangerous skewed view of the world.

"
No, I don't think it's " reasonable" to "discuss" ways in which a child who has had its face ripped off by a dog is "responsible" for that happening, particularly given that dogs are neither essential nor necessary for human civilization, and actually I am repulsed and appalled that you would suggest such a thing. Seriously. You have a dangerous skewed view of the world."

Are you really this stupid? Please do not have children.

(Also who said the child's face was "ripped off"?

“No, I don't think it's " reasonable" to "discuss" ways in which a child who has had its face ripped off by a dog is "responsible" “

Not the child, the adult/s...

Who said the child was responsible?

I note you've still not said whether the parent in my totally fictional situation was right to allow their toddler to chase a dog under some nesting tables in the corner of a room and continue to grab at their face.

Just like you've selectively avoided all the examples I've listed from a previous thread where multiple parents argued they had no responsibility to prevent their child chasing dogs, grabbing dogs etc.

Parents and dog owners have responsibilities.

Some dog owners are irresponsible. Some parents are too. It's not unreasonable to point out irresponsible conduct on either side.

How's your imaginary dog doing?
You fucking loon.

Aka don't talk about a situation on a thread because that makes you vile.
Don't talk about a fictional situation that has parallels because that makes you a fucking loon.

Aka don't talk about anything that considers that parents AND dog owners have responsibilities