AIBU to ask friend to remove her dog from the room when I visit with my child?

[BadBehaviour]

I’ve recently had a baby and I have been taking my baby to see friends, one friend has quite a large breed of dog. I have asked her before I visit to remove the dog from the room temporarily whilst we are there. She’s agreed but when I turn up she hasn’t done it, nor is she willing to.

I understand it’s her home if she wants her dog in every room that’s her right. I just end up leaving as I will not take my baby inside. She refuses to meet up elsewhere.

So AIBU to ask her to remove her dog from the room we are in temporarily?

Thanks guys

[SciFiGirl]

Perhaps that’s why I’m so protective, I never even thought about it until posting that comment. Nor have I ever been scared of dogs, I do sympthaize with those who are afraid of dogs. Good on you @LolaSmiles for over coming your fear. It’s not easy x

[LolaSmiles]

BadBehaviouR
That's a horrible situation. Sorry to hear it.

I used to be really scared of dogs and would freeze to the spot so I have a lot of sympathy for people who are scared of dogs or are uncomfortable around them. Part of that I think is not being brought up around them and so wasn't taught properly how to interact (it was very much, you don't go near them, which then made me nervous around any dog which I don't think was the intention).

I also think that there's reasonable and unreasonable expectations. When I met DH he had a dog. He'd put the dog in another room when I'd come over, wait for the dog (friendly and bouncy and harmless but scary to me) to calm down and then he'd let the dog in when I was sorted and the dog would settle on its bed, over time I got closer to it. I think that was a good approach we had.

I own a dog now and love them dearly. It's helped me get a better understanding of dogs too and family/friend dogs don't bother me. I'm still not terribly happy going up to new dogs on my own, but my own dog is good as working out which dogs are friendly and which aren't.

There's responsibility on all sides. Dog owners have responsibilities for their dogs, but parents also have responsibility to teach their children how to behave around animals (eg you wouldn't do anything to startle a horse so don't do it to a dog). What I struggle with are irresponsible parents and dog owners who think their child/dog should be entitled to run or chase or intimidate anything it wants to and everyone else should facilitate it.

[Applejack5]

"In my own experience when I was 5 I jumped off a friends sofa to go into the kitchen I scared their dog & it big my face almost taking my eye out. In that situation neither were at fault but it could have been avoided."

I don't know how anyone can justify keeping an animal in their home that would react like this to someone jumping off the sofa.

[DriftingLeaves]

Nit because I worry about my dogs har,in them, but because of the fucking stupid, arsehole parents out there who think that they and their child is superior to all other living creatures. I don't want those children touching and potentially harming my dogs. My dogs are more important to me than random children. If that makes me a sociopath then I embrace the description.

This is so sad. Children are superior to dogs. I'm sorry that you don't realise this. Sadly there is no treatment for personality disorders, even for those who embrace the description
.
But fortunately society and its laws know you are wrong so you can't do much harm with your twisted way of thinking.

[OneToughMudderFudder]

YANBU. She's probably one of those weirdos who sees her fur baby as being on the same level as a human baby.

She obviously has no consideration for you or your child so ditch her. If she was a true friend your anxiety (even if SHE thinks it's irrational), and comfort when making the effort to visit her, would trump her dog being shut outside for a few hours.

[Dieu]

And very precious. Presumably the baby is in your arms anyway.

[Dieu]

YABU.

[BadBehaviouR]

Okay. I understand now. In my situation my baby would never provoke an animal. I am fully aware of how you need to respect an animals feelings and learn to take signals. In my own experience when I was 5 I jumped off a friends sofa to go into the kitchen I scared their dog & it big my face almost taking my eye out. In that situation neither were at fault but it could have been avoided.

[LolaSmiles]

Id like to think with all those safeguards my dog is never unfortunate enough to ever encounter a situation where they meet such stupidly arrogant and irresponsible people though (after all most people in life do take responsibility for their actions and get long just fine with others who have different preferences to them).

[LolaSmiles]

You went down the route of suggesting dog owners would be responsible if their pet had to be out to sleep if it lashed out for any reason and then started trying to guilt owners for not doing more. Same old nonsense from people who fail to understand MUTUAL responsibility.

I was pointing out that my dog would generally not get in a situation where they would be put down due to someone else repeatedly harassing them.

I have no time for irresponsible dog owners who allow their dogs to harass mine.
I have no time for irresponsible parents who can't be bothered to prevent their children harassing animals.
In any situation like that they'd be asked to leave my house and/or I would making it very clear to all witnesses that it's an act of negligence on their part as my pet is trying to get away from the aggressor.

So no, I wouldn't feel any situation was my doing. I would place the blame for any accident at the foot of the dog owner or parent of the dog/child that has harassed and intimidated my pet.

[BadBehaviouR]

@lolasmiles I’m unsure about your comment. I’m not sure what you’re suggesting

[LolaSmiles]

**If it was a stranger in public I would walk away with my well trained dog and loudly call them to stop their child harassing unknown animals.

[LolaSmiles]

Before I ditch this thread, if any of your dogs bit a person/child for whatever reason.
I'm a responsible dog owner who doesn't want anyone injured.
I wouldn't have my dog around anyone who is so arrogant and incompetent to allow their child to grab its face, chase it and corner it and generally harass it because I'd be telling them it's time to leave my house. If we met in public I would be leaving because they can't be bothered to parent properly. If it was a stranger in public I would love away with my well trained dog and loudly call them to stop their child harassing unknown animals.

I have no time for irresponsible dog owners who allow their badly trained dog to harass mine.
I have no time for irresponsible parents who refuse to parent their child properly and expect.

[BadBehaviouR]

Well it’s clear you wouldn’t accommodate a request like this from a friend so, Yes! Anyway as I said I’m done this thread has had a lot of posts/opinions it’s something to think about. Enjoy your night

[Gruntvsgunt]

Your guess would be wrong then. Just because I pointed out an inaccuracy in what you said doesn’t mean I would risk anyone’s safety

[BadBehaviouR]

I’m guessing you would happily take the chance then!

[Gruntvsgunt]

Just because a dog bites someone doesn’t mean it would get destroyed! Please don’t spout nonsense.

[BadBehaviouR]

@gruntvdgrunt Yes god forbid we actually accommodate our friends! Before I ditch this thread, if any of your dogs bit a person/child for whatever reason. Your dog would be destroyed. How would that make you feel? Could you have done more to protect your dog by removing them front a situation that was preventable. Anyway I’m done with this thread!

[Gruntvsgunt]

You are being unreasonable and incredibly precious to expect her to ask her dog to leave a room in its home yes. She can trust her dog or not, that’s not a call for you to make.
Maybe don’t visit people’s home if you expect them to make adjustments to suit you.

[BadBehaviouR]

Not this. Wasn’t expecting so many comments & an arguments on mumsnet. I am relatively new here though

[LolaSmiles]

It's a dog thread. What were you expecting? Every dog thread on Mumsnet at the moment is guaranteed to end up with most posters advocating common sense (even if they have different personal preferences) and responsibility on all sides and a few hysterical posters who argue that dogs are simultaneously awful and should behave passively regardless of any human treatment.

She says as someone formerly really scared of dogs and now owns one.

[Choochoopop]

She's a liar. Doesn't follow through with her arrangements and clearly doesn't value your wants and needs. She is the one being unreasonable--not you. For the sake of a friendship, a baby's needs and a few hours, it really shouldn't be that much of a deal to put the dog out. Sounds like the sort of person I avoid

[BadBehaviouR]

Omg you’ve all gone mad. I didn’t know asking a Q about asking a friend to pop her dog into another room for an hour would create this!

[Wolfiefan]

Pet owners are the cracked ones?

[TrendyNorthLondonTeen]

Riiiiiiight.