AIBU to ask friend to remove her dog from the room when I visit with my child?

[BadBehaviour]

I’ve recently had a baby and I have been taking my baby to see friends, one friend has quite a large breed of dog. I have asked her before I visit to remove the dog from the room temporarily whilst we are there. She’s agreed but when I turn up she hasn’t done it, nor is she willing to.

I understand it’s her home if she wants her dog in every room that’s her right. I just end up leaving as I will not take my baby inside. She refuses to meet up elsewhere.

So AIBU to ask her to remove her dog from the room we are in temporarily?

Thanks guys

[shesgrownhorns]

I'm interested, in all those of us who have dogs AND children - who are more important to you, the children or the dogs?

Just interested. There are some people on here who are incredibly attached to their dogs!!

I also hear people crediting their dogs with emotions they can't actually possess.

[Applejack5]

"My oh my, some of you are very easily shocked if all it takes is for a bunch of dog owners to say that they'd prefer the dog to your child.
I wonder how you all cope when things get really hairy."

But we're not talking about the posting dog owners' own dogs and a child who is a stranger to them... in the OP's dilemma it's a friend's child. I find it hard to believe (yes, slightly shocking) that people think this way about their friends' children.

[harrypotterfan1604]

I have 2 dogs, I love them dearly but they’re very excitable and bouncy. So if I’m having visitors over I always ask them if they’re ok with 2 bouncy dogs if not I pop them in the kitchen with a kong for a couple of hours it doesn’t kill them!
I also have a small child and there’s no way in hell she would be unsupervised around them because although they’re very nice dogs I doubt they would be if she pulled their tail or cornered them 🤷🏼‍♀️ She will grow up to learn she has to be gentle with them just as I’m training them to be gentle around her. Pretty basic parenting and dog owner skills really!
Your friend has the right to refuse to put the dog away it’s their house after all but if you don’t like it don’t visit.

[LolaSmiles]

I don't understand why a couple of my posts have been deleted when posts talking about how a toddler is wrong for having his face ripped off are allowed to stand
For the umpteenth time nobody has said the toddler was wrongm

Commenting that parents of children have a responsibility not to allow their children to chase animals who are trying to get away is not blaming a toddler.

If a parent allows their child to run into traffic because they're a toddler then the toddler is not at fault, but the parent hasnt supervised them properly and hasn't kept them safe.

If my dog runs into traffic then the dog isn't at fault, as an owner I haven't kept them safe.

I can't believe that saying parents and dog owners need to both take their responsibilities is such a controversial thing to say.

[Leighhalfpennysthigh]

@Fuma you sound really angry. Did you know that the beneficial effect that a dog has on mental health is really well known?

[GorkyMcPorky]

OP I'd cut your losses. Dog lovers of the type that believe their animal would do no wrong are beyond reasoning on this subject. I've been made unwelcome in my own family's homes after requesting similar (small dog who had recently gone for a toddler). Caused me a lot of sadness at a time of actual, real grief. They'll never get it and they're perfectly comfortable being rid of me, as I now am of them. Your friend isn't worth the bother.

[bluebeck]

No one needs to modify their behaviour because some people choose to have a mute companion who is also an environmental pollutant and who endangers members of human society. You dog owners literally own this. Grow up.

Do you seriously think that dogs, actual dogs are doing more to harm the environment and are endangering members of human society more than humans themselves?

You do sound increasingly deranged.....

[bluebeck]

But we're not talking about the posting dog owners' own dogs and a child who is a stranger to them... in the OP's dilemma it's a friend's child. I find it hard to believe (yes, slightly shocking) that people think this way about their friends' children.

Yes, I love both my dog and my cat more than I love anybody elses children, including friends DC. I do love my own human DC more though

[shesgrownhorns]

For those of you who love your dogs...

Guess what?

They don't love you

[bluebeck]

shesgrownhorns

But I just asked him and he said he did

[TrendyNorthLondonTeen]

"For those of you who love your dogs...

Guess what?

They don't love you"

So?

[shesgrownhorns]

Mine just demanded his tea and told me the room service was shite. CF.

[Fuma]

@bluebeck the human activity of pet ownership is environmentally damaging and more than a little creepy. Not about dogs per se, more the act of "owning" them. In that context, to then expect everyone around you to modify their behaviour to accommodate you doing something that is damaging, weird and has a benefit for only you is cracked.

[TrendyNorthLondonTeen]

Riiiiiiight.

[Wolfiefan]

Pet owners are the cracked ones?

[BadBehaviouR]

Omg you’ve all gone mad. I didn’t know asking a Q about asking a friend to pop her dog into another room for an hour would create this!

[Choochoopop]

She's a liar. Doesn't follow through with her arrangements and clearly doesn't value your wants and needs. She is the one being unreasonable--not you. For the sake of a friendship, a baby's needs and a few hours, it really shouldn't be that much of a deal to put the dog out. Sounds like the sort of person I avoid

[LolaSmiles]

It's a dog thread. What were you expecting? Every dog thread on Mumsnet at the moment is guaranteed to end up with most posters advocating common sense (even if they have different personal preferences) and responsibility on all sides and a few hysterical posters who argue that dogs are simultaneously awful and should behave passively regardless of any human treatment.

She says as someone formerly really scared of dogs and now owns one.

[BadBehaviouR]

Not this. Wasn’t expecting so many comments & an arguments on mumsnet. I am relatively new here though

[Gruntvsgunt]

You are being unreasonable and incredibly precious to expect her to ask her dog to leave a room in its home yes. She can trust her dog or not, that’s not a call for you to make.
Maybe don’t visit people’s home if you expect them to make adjustments to suit you.

[BadBehaviouR]

@gruntvdgrunt Yes god forbid we actually accommodate our friends! Before I ditch this thread, if any of your dogs bit a person/child for whatever reason. Your dog would be destroyed. How would that make you feel? Could you have done more to protect your dog by removing them front a situation that was preventable. Anyway I’m done with this thread!

[Gruntvsgunt]

Just because a dog bites someone doesn’t mean it would get destroyed! Please don’t spout nonsense.

[BadBehaviouR]

I’m guessing you would happily take the chance then!

[Gruntvsgunt]

Your guess would be wrong then. Just because I pointed out an inaccuracy in what you said doesn’t mean I would risk anyone’s safety

[BadBehaviouR]

Well it’s clear you wouldn’t accommodate a request like this from a friend so, Yes! Anyway as I said I’m done this thread has had a lot of posts/opinions it’s something to think about. Enjoy your night