AIBU to ask friend to remove her dog from the room when I visit with my child?

[BadBehaviour]

I’ve recently had a baby and I have been taking my baby to see friends, one friend has quite a large breed of dog. I have asked her before I visit to remove the dog from the room temporarily whilst we are there. She’s agreed but when I turn up she hasn’t done it, nor is she willing to.

I understand it’s her home if she wants her dog in every room that’s her right. I just end up leaving as I will not take my baby inside. She refuses to meet up elsewhere.

So AIBU to ask her to remove her dog from the room we are in temporarily?

Thanks guys

Lolasmiles your comment about irrelevant comments on my behalf are unjustified as somebody asked me that question. How rude to accuse me of that.

Whereyouleftit we met at work over 10 years ago have been friends for a long time. I go on my own so I can see her but without the anxiety of the dog.

Well thanks for all of your replies, I think some of you are thinking of your own animals which more then likely can be trusted. Obvs that’s easy to do however this dog is not yours so i can’t understand why you’d take offence, my parents have a large breed dog I have no problem with taking my baby as I feel the dog is well trained & listens to commands. Anyway as I said thank you for all your comments they have been noted.

OP
apologies. I missed the question when I was scanning the thread.

Either way it sounds like trying to push the idea of bad dog owner after another poster painted a picture joining your dots of barking, territorial, badly behaved and suggested lack of walks causes that.

Surely if you don't see each other regularly then you wouldn't know about her dog's exercise or their requirements? The only people who know half of the exercise my dog gets are me, family who walk her, the dog-sitter and other people who walk at the same times as us. Even then they can only comment on the walks we do and couldn't comment on all the other stimulation our dog gets, when we give them a lazy day because they need to rest, when we do big days out etc. Why would they?
Asserting that a dog doesn't get walked and if they do it's for no more than 20nins a week very much feels like a selective information drop to get responses to be more in agreement.

Seems like quite a shift from having no issue with the dog for ages, no issues and happy to visit alone but precious over the baby. Maybe it's just me but if I genuinely felt a dog was volatile, badly behaved, liable to jump, a potential danger and so on then I wouldn't be visiting on my own either.

Just don’t take your child there if you’re uncomfortable. I wouldn’t.

she doesn’t want to leave her house to see you, ok don’t see her then.

I agree she’s not unreasonable to object to pushing her dog out for any reason but at the same time If she can’t pop the dog in another room for half an hour then I think she doesn’t really care about your concerns, which makes her a bit of a moron imo. Most sensible ppl would register your concerns and either humour you and pop dog away or meet you elsewhere. She’s not prepared to do either. Ta ra then. Ditch her. Problem solved

Lolasmiles apology accepted. No i am not trying to paint any picture I again was simply answering a Q again by another user. I know she doesn’t walk the dog much as she’s mentioned it a few times. I’d never want to paint a bad picture of her she’s a lovely person who’s been very supportive during my pregnancy which Is why I’ve given her so many chances. IMO the dog doesn’t get walked enough but who am I to judge that it’s her dog & it is well looked after. Anyway thank you for participating greatly in the thread. Much appreciated x

Not a problem.

I hope you get a resolution that works for you both.

This is becoming quite an odd discussion, for me.

I live in a rural community. My neighbours both sides have dogs.
Each side of me, both neighbours have 3 dogs each.

On my left side, I have an owner who doesn't give a shiny shite if his dogs bark all day when he goes out. Which they do. They are those little Jack Russells and they yap and yap and yap and yap and yap and yap and yap and yap and yap and yap and yap and yap ad infinitum. And if you tell him that when he eventually comes home, he claims that it was not his dogs that are yapping.
They are obviously suffering and reacting to his absence.
Their discomfort is constant. Throughout xmas day last year, he had gone out to have xmas dinner with his family, but his dogs were distraught and barking. But they never leave his garden. He doesn't take them out, for walks, not ever.

My Xmas dinner with my family, that day, was overwhelmed with next doors doggy barking. I felt sorry for the dogs of course.
But what a fucking knob not to consider his dogs.

The three dogs on the other side of our garden are working dogs, labs, who are taken out at dawn for at least a 7 mile foray around our local coast. And they'll do it again at sunset. And they bloody love it.

They never, ever feel the need to bark at anything or anybody.

A dog cannot really be a member of your family. I understand that you get close to a dog. Like I did when I was about 18 and needed someone to talk to. The dog shifted up and leaned against my legs when I was upset and crying. But the dog would have done that anyway. It was a lovely dog.

However, it bit the 4 year old next door and we had to agree to have her put down.

I really don't understand why people want to keep dogs
They are just smelly,and horrible.

I get where you’re coming from. A friend of mine used to do this, insisting her dog was no danger around her grandchildren.

At one point a toddler chased it under the table and had his face quite badly bitten and the dog had to be put down.

It’s not fair on either dogs or children for dog owners not to recognise they should not be mixed without great care.

YABVU and incredibly rude.

You don't get to dictate what goes on in somebody else's home.

If you don't like it, don't visit. I doubt you'll be missed.

Ibiza2015

At one point a toddler chased it under the table and had his face quite badly bitten and the dog had to be put down

It happens so often, yet dog owners won't own it,

Bad Behaviour, you have been more than patient. People are insanely defensive about their dogs. I can't believe the attitude that a dog can't be put in a different room for a short visit when a vulnerable baby is present. Honestly, these people have lost perspective on reality, and that is putting it nicely.

Why would a person, who knew that another person was scared of dogs, and then promise to keep the dog away from them, but then let the dog out all excited and batky. so that the scared of dogs person would just get used to it.

I can't understand this contra argument that people should put their babies away. A few month old baby is no threat to a dog. A dog could be a huge threat to a newborn. but the newborn is no threat to the dog.

I have friends who have dogs that they love But fuck me, they would not be insensitive to the fact that newmum doesn't want dogs allover her newborn.

"At one point a toddler chased it under the table and had his face quite badly bitten and the dog had to be put down

It happens so often, yet dog owners won't own it,"

Hmmmm why did that particular dog bite a toddler I wonder?? I can't possibly imagine why? It is a mystery. There's no way that anyone could have stopped that from happening is there?

YANBU. You have a bad feeling about the dog. Protect your baby.

I have had visitors with young children who are afraid of dogs and have put the dog away in a separate room. I sort of do an inward eye-roll but I still do it.

The easy answer is don’t go there. Even if the dog is excellently trained and of perfect demeanour, the fact you’re nervous is reason enough.

Personally I think the owner is being a bit U; you take guests needs/wants into consideration when hosting visitors, no matter how close.

YANBU as the dog is a Staff cross. A Labrador would be fine.

I don't think you're being unreasonable whatsoever. I wouldn't leave a young baby around a large staff cross breed.

Funny how whenever you read stories in the paper about dogs attacking kids, the owners are always falling over themselves to say how out of character it was for the dog.

'Jack Russell type that yaps yaps and yaps'...……….really??? I have owned one for the last 13 years and she never yaps.

There are no bad dogs, but there are bad owners.

At one point a toddler chased it under the table and had his face quite badly bitten and the dog had to be put down.

Maybe, just maybe, the toddler should have been stopped from terrorising the poor dog?!

My PIL have a huge dog. It's a mixture and stands about chest high on me. Soft as anything, but very lively and will leap all over you and face lick, when you first come in. I hate this as he nearly knocks me over, but have learned to stay calm and it's soon over. They stand on the other side of the room saying oh silly Dog, he's just saying hello!

This made me hugely nervous when taking DCs round as babies and DC1 was nearly knocked out of my arms on the first occasion, so I would only take them into the house in the car seat. Dog still gets his head in the car seat to have a good sniff and lick , but I felt baby was more protected. This is the main reason I hardly took DC2 round there as a small baby.

YANBU as the dog is a Staff cross. A Labrador would be fine

Why is that? Statistically Labradors have the highest rate of biting in the UK.

This might be a solution for your friend OP