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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely furious

106 replies

Alfiesmom15 · 10/09/2019 17:42

Me and my partner been together 6 years we have our problems like most but weve been working on them but seriously today I could actually throttle him.... my cars at garage so he needed to take me to work then drop son at school. He also picks son up from school.... I rang him at 3pm to make sure he was getting ready to go get son..... queue 20 past three school.phones hes not turned up and no one can get hold of him.... hed fell to fucking sleep (my sister fetched him).... and then I get home sink full of washing up, crumbs all over the side, boxes I've asked to be moved full of his shit and still there in my living room.... sons come home from school with shit all over his wellies (forest school) instead of washing them or putting them outside my house now smells of horse shit.... I had to wait 15 mins outside work to get me..... my cars not going to be fixed till tomorrow the problem is bigger then what they thought so probably going to cost more money.
Now hes driving an hours drive to buy a computer desk. Which he will defo make out hes doing me a massive favour except it's for his computer that I never actually use.... someone please tell me I'm not over reacting because I'm fuming

OP posts:
Chocolatemouse84 · 10/09/2019 17:47

Does he work nights? Why has he been asleep all day?

inwood · 10/09/2019 17:48

Why has he been asleep all day?

Original poster
Alfiesmom15 · 10/09/2019 17:51

He works nights over the weekend hes a DJ but he does get in till 4am so it's hard to get the normal pattern back in the week for him...

OP posts:
ReapersHowler · 10/09/2019 18:01

So he got home at 4am, had 4 hours of sleep then dropped you off at work and your child at school went home and got some more sleep? I'd understand being pissed about the missed pick up but the state of the house is a bit OTT considering he needed to sleep.

Lazypuppy · 10/09/2019 18:05

You're over reacting, is there other stuff going on?

AlwaysCheddar · 10/09/2019 18:06

He just works nights as a DJ? He needs to get a proper job.

IHaveBrilloHair · 10/09/2019 18:10

Is he your son's Dad?

thecatinthetwat · 10/09/2019 18:11

Not picking up his son is awful. I’d be furious.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 10/09/2019 18:14

Does he work Sunday’s as well as Fri/Sat

Original poster
Alfiesmom15 · 10/09/2019 18:14

When I say 4am weekends. I mean he finished 4am monday morning.... were now on Tuesday!!! He only does a 3 day week.
In confused as to why he needs a 'proper' job though @alwayschedder .....

I work 5 full days a week and clearly expected to clean up the mess hes made today and yet hes done 3 night shifts and hes bloody tired. Well ain't he bloody all

OP posts:
BentNeckLady · 10/09/2019 18:15

He just works nights as a DJ? He needs to get a proper job.

Tell that to Carl Cox

PonderingPanda · 10/09/2019 18:17

Does he always pick DS up from school? If so why are you having to remind himConfused

MyHeartIsInCornwall · 10/09/2019 18:19

YANBU You must feel like his mother not his partner. As for not setting an alarm to make sure he picked his son up from school, that’s really not on at all. That’s the bit that would really infuriate me! He sounds completely insular and selfish in this instance.

gilliansgardenbench · 10/09/2019 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 10/09/2019 18:21

"He just works nights as a DJ? He needs to get a proper job."

Twat.

Original poster
Alfiesmom15 · 10/09/2019 18:24

Yeah I remind him everyday just in case.... because of his sleeping pattern I like to make sure hes not dropped off.... but who falls asleep enough you cant get hold of them in 15 mins.....
Yes hes his dad... not that should make any difference...
I'm probably being a bit dramatic about the mess he does leave it probably once or twice a week but today it really grated on me.... hes not done anything all bloody day

OP posts:
Each2TheirOwn · 10/09/2019 18:24

YANBU, he sounds like a lazy shite! Is the afternoon siesta and leaving everything at his arse a common occurrence or is this a one off?

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 10/09/2019 18:25

He fell asleep between 3pm and 3:20pm? So he was in bed when you called at 3.00. Why were you ringing to remind him? Doesn’t he normally pick him up? What time was he in bed at last night?

InterestingView · 10/09/2019 18:26

@BentNeckLady showing your age specifically mentioning Carl Cox Wink but I do agree hes amazing! The yoof of today would probably say David Guetta etc!

FatBottomGirls · 10/09/2019 18:26

Is he Grinder from People Just Do Nothing? Grin

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 10/09/2019 18:27

Yeah I remind him everyday just in case

This is the problem. You’re taking on the responsibility so he doesn’t bother. Stop ringing him. Make him totally responsible for picking DS up. Make sure school know to ring him first. It’s his job. He’s an adult.

BloggersBlog · 10/09/2019 18:31

He doesnt "need to get a proper job" because he is a DJ, he needs to get one because the one he has means he's not coping with everyday life and being a support to you and your DS. Sounds fecking useless

Original poster
Alfiesmom15 · 10/09/2019 18:34

To leave everything to me isn't a one off buts its overly common either If that make sense. He does take naps alot but generally I dont come home to tip Just today it's really ground my gears.

OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 10/09/2019 18:39

He just works nights as a DJ? He needs to get a proper job.

Can you expand your definition of a “proper job” Confused

Some DJ’s make more money on a night than some do in a week....

coconuttelegraph · 10/09/2019 18:40

Why is there horse shit in the forest school

I'd definitely be having a strong word with the school about that, are there actually horses in there or have they put the shit there for a reason, that sounds very wrong either way. Surely any kind of animal shit in a school is a huge no no