To be absolutely furious

[Alfiesmom15]

Me and my partner been together 6 years we have our problems like most but weve been working on them but seriously today I could actually throttle him.... my cars at garage so he needed to take me to work then drop son at school. He also picks son up from school.... I rang him at 3pm to make sure he was getting ready to go get son..... queue 20 past three school.phones hes not turned up and no one can get hold of him.... hed fell to fucking sleep (my sister fetched him).... and then I get home sink full of washing up, crumbs all over the side, boxes I've asked to be moved full of his shit and still there in my living room.... sons come home from school with shit all over his wellies (forest school) instead of washing them or putting them outside my house now smells of horse shit.... I had to wait 15 mins outside work to get me..... my cars not going to be fixed till tomorrow the problem is bigger then what they thought so probably going to cost more money.
Now hes driving an hours drive to buy a computer desk. Which he will defo make out hes doing me a massive favour except it's for his computer that I never actually use.... someone please tell me I'm not over reacting because I'm fuming

@AlwaysCheddar DJ’s can earn ALOT of money. You sound very uninformed

No horses theres so I can only assume they've put it there for fertiliser, but no not even get the big clumps off the wellys and put them back in his bag.... i sent a old outfit that they requested but the didmt use so not only does he have it on his school trousers it's on the clean clothes too that are still perfectly folded the way I left them... I dont have a lot to do with the school that's partners domain.
I'm not about to make him scrap his job hes actually good at what he does, and he enjoys it plus he is highly sought after in our area which his price reflects.

Apparently I've gone illiterate now too with no commars and spelling mistakes. Hopefully it still makes sense lol

So prior to this he was a fully functioning adult presumably? What do you think has caused him to change into a useless lazy lump?

Yes he works night 3 days a week he last worked sunday .... I wash up the breakfast dishes before work so all he has to do is keep his own mess clean.... I dont expect him to come home from his work at the weekend and wash the dinner plates so why should he expect me to wash his half a sink worth of stuff when I get home from work before I can cook dinner?? (Who needs three cups in the day really) @MrsElizabethShelby because I dont see why I should do a full days work and then clean up after him while hes been home all day and all hes done is take a nap makes me disrespectful? I don't think to expect a grown man to clean up after himself is a big ask really

He fell asleep at pick up time, he isn't the first and he won't be the last. Nights kill. They seriously muck up with health and your sleep patterns, I'd cut him some slack.

I know nights kill I would usually cut him some slack but like I said my house smells of horse shit, my kitchen was a tip, I'm not getting my car back for another 2 days and is likely going to cost a hell of alot more money, I've had a couple weeks off work holiday that needed to be used so I'm tired too..... so today it's really annoyed me that I've had to come home and clean up someone else's mess who.in my mind has been more than capable to do it themselves.... it's not a full days work it's less the ten mins to wash some dishes and run the hoover round...
I'll probably be over it by tomorrow but as of right now I'm really angry about it

Unless this is part of a bigger issue OP yes you are packing in respect for your husband.

He is not your servant and neither are you his. From your other posts I do not get the impression that he expects to be picked up after on a daily basis.

You state that he usually does these things and today was not his usual behaviour.

Everyone slacks now and then.

Your only making yourself unhappy sweating the small stuff like this. If it only took 10 minutes to wash the few bits why does it matter. Let it go. What are you really angry about?

Otherwise sorry but you are just an arsehole.

Lacking.

Everyone has days like this OP. Go for a nice relaxing bath/shower, get your jammies on, nice cup of tea and go to bed and stick a box set on/read a magazine and leave everything as you've found it. Hopefully it will be all tidied up and smelling fresh when you get up in the morning (maybe wishful thinking but you've got to dream) lol x

Reverse the genders. Would it still be acceptable for you to speak about your wife like this? And be 'absolutely furious' over such a non issue?

No I don't think it would be.

As someone who works nights I'm not surprised he fell asleep, even if it was the day after he stopped working. Were the 3 nights he worked Friday, Saturday, Sunday by any chance? And if he finished at 4am what time did he start?

I've missed the school run after I've worked a run of nights too, was only woken by the school phoning to ask what had happened to me. Very embarrassing, but my body was telling me it was the middle of the night and I was exhausted.

Unless there are things you're not telling us, I think you probably need to cut him some slack.

Yes I am aware it only took ten mins to do because I did it.... after I was at work all day..... I do not expect him to be my slave otherwise he would of cooked the dinner put the washing away and then put son to bed and then washed up after dinner and will then proceed to replace all the computer stuff over onto a different desk..... oh wait that's me that had to do all that with being at work till 5pm.... again while he has not lifted a finger in 24 hours ...... I never said he does it everyday ..... i said he will leave it once or twice a week.... weekends I do everything....
Reverse the genders? I dont care if your a man or woman if you've been sat at home all day then why one earth would anyone expect someone to clean up after them? Take a nap and then forget their child at school? Hes only been at school a week.

Carl Cox - what a bloody legend.

Not sure about this one. I have worked nights and still do, and have never not been there at school pick up time regardless.
In fact many a time I have done a night shift, gone home just in time for my oh to go to work then done the school, gone to bed at 9.30 ish and then had to be up at 2.45 to do school run again, then await my husband getting home at 4.30 so I could try and rest for 2 hours before starting it all again. Sometimes for 4-5 days in a row.
Having a nap is not the issue. Not picking up a child from school is.
However- I don’t think that stressing about the washing up and hoovering is worth the effort.

Friday he works 9pm till about 2.30/3 (gets home 4am) saturday is the same...
. Sunday he works 8.30 till 11.30....gets home about 12ish or half past depending on how long it takes to pack up .....

Ah I see, mum guilt.

You shouldn't feel guilty for working full time OP and you really can't take it out on your husband like this.

Fwiw I have the exact same home set up. DH is the part time worker in this house. When the DC were under 3 he was the main carer and I worked full time.

He doesn't do things how I would do them so it caused some clashes but take my advice and let it go seriously. It's really really not worth falling out about.

My anger at the washing up was everything in the sink has been used between 7.45 when I left for work and 5pm when I got back as I had washed up before I went...... why use 3 cups... 2 plates a bowl and about 5 knives I'm a day and not once think about rinsing the other one off instead of getting another one out.... usually I get over the lack of cleaning if he doesnt do it but today its really got to me because I've been at work all day and I'm tired but I still did it...
Our son only stated school last week and hes been forgotten about 1 week in... keep in mind I booked last week as holiday so this is his second pick up!!!

I dont feel guilty for working full time I've worked since 2 weeks after I gave birth so I've gotten over that by now.