Dh showers at 4am disrupting toddler

[Surfskatefamily]

Aibu in asking him to shower the night before instead?

He seems to think I'm unreasonable. However he doesn't see how unsettled this leaves our son all day. He was sleeping through most nights before this. And has gone back to 2 or 3wake ups average and an earlier up time.

The shower is right next to sons bedroom

He would be dead.
Selfish selfish man !!!

Is there anyway you can swap rooms so your sons room isn’t closest to the bathroom ?

I feel like soon your son will get used to the noise and will be able to sleep through it.

I’m a bit surprised that he’s got such a slating - I’d want a shower before I left, it must be horrible getting up that early. But I do understand why it’s horrible for you too - neither of you are being unfair. But you’re toddler is unfair for sure. Hope it sorts out.

He would be dead.

The award for the most bat shit post goes to Blissa1.

Massive over reaction there.

I'm a sweaty sleeper, there's no way I'd go to work without a shower. When it's hot, I've even ended up having one before bed and one after waking up.

Old, solid house here and we definitely would hear electric showers on. The noise might not be much during the day but in the complete silence of night, it would be a right racket.
Whilst most people might prefer a morning shower, the baby sleeping would certainly dictate changing it when he is being woken so early.

YANBU.💐

@blissa1 Are you always this ridiculous or just playing up for this post? He would be dead? Really? . Good lord.

Opening my eyes too loudly woke my DD1

😂

No, I think adults come first. Your dh is trying to earn a living and wants to have a shower. I would probably take toddler into my bed and encourage him to go back to sleep.

Toddler can have a nap in the day.

YANBU

It's cleaner to have a shower at night anyway, who wants to go into bed unwashed?

If you really need a quick wash, use a flannel.

Always made noise around my daughter, morning noon and night. Guess what wakes her at 4am? Nada. Stop pussy footing around your kids, noise is a thing, can't do much about it unless you sound proof your house and subject them to eerie silence at all times. Ignore your child, will soon get bored and tired.

It's all fine saying you shouldn't tiptoe around sleeping children but if you're the lucky bugger who has a nice shower and walks off to work to leave the other parent dealing with an overtired, cranky and sleep deprived small human being as well as being all those things yourself, then you got the lucky end of the deal.

And not all children are the same.

Erm, toddler will survive. Your oh who is commuting for work May well need that shower to feel alive enough to do that commute.
Seriously, he is getting up and going. To work at a crappy our. He needs that shower, your toddler and you will survive
Mum of three who use to get up at 4.30 and commute with baby from 5 til 6 am every day for two years.

To be fair i cab get up and be doing all kinds around the house and ds3 stays asleep. My partner switches on the shower and that's it he's awake. The boiler is right next to his room and wakes him. He can sleep through anything really apart from that bloody boiler.

Always made noise around my daughter, morning noon and night. Guess what wakes her at 4am? Nada.

Yeah? Well my gran smoked 60 a day and lived to be 98 so clearly smoking isn't harmful.

Not all kids are the same. Reign your smugness in a bit.

Yanbu. Tell him to take a strip wash downstairs if he has to! Young chiksren’s sleep needs take precedence, sleep is proven to be vital for body, brain and emotional development ffs. He can use a flannel, the kettle and a plastic bowl if needs must!!

I start work at 5am quite often, get up at 4.25, dressed quicker than the flash and out the door at 4.45. I wouldn’t be giving up any precious moments of sleep to have a shower.
But to answer your question I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I put all my stuff in the spare room the night before so I don’t wake my hubby, never mind a child.

Yabu id need a shower at that time in the morning to help me wake up. I always have a bath or shower in the evening but I would also have one then too until the novelty wore off and i just need the extra sleeo

Definitely try a white noise machine. We live in a busy road and have used one in the hall since dc birth- they're 7 now.

I shower in the evenings as I sweat less the next day. I know that my dh would never not have a shower in the morning. It's part of his routine so I think yabu to ask him not to. See if the darker mornings help also.

Oh my apologies, cancer from smoking and a cranky toddler are definitely the same thing. Sounds to me like someone is moaning and BVU because they got woke up not the toddler, anyways, toodles

Oh my apologies, cancer from smoking and a cranky toddler are definitely the same thing

Never said they were. What I was doing (as I suspect you know) was pointing out the ridiculousness of thinking that because you experienced something, that it must also hold true for everyone else.

And yes, OP also probably didn't want to be woken up, but the toddler does need sleep too. So OP's DH is putting his wants above the needs of two other people. He is being unreasonable.

@Sami4141 lucky you! My kids have always been used to noise, I crash around after they’ve gone to bed, I cook, bath, shower, hoover, go in and out of their room putting washing away etc. They don’t wake up.

If they hear a noise after about 4am, they’re awake. For the day. It’s the lightest stage of kids sleep, so good for you that nothing wakes your kid - in the mean time my husband will shower in the evenings because my 3 year old is stroppy enough at the moment without being woken up even earlier than he normally gets up