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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh showers at 4am disrupting toddler

308 replies

Surfskatefamily · 09/09/2019 19:41

Aibu in asking him to shower the night before instead?

He seems to think I'm unreasonable. However he doesn't see how unsettled this leaves our son all day. He was sleeping through most nights before this. And has gone back to 2 or 3wake ups average and an earlier up time.

The shower is right next to sons bedroom

OP posts:
Aridane · 13/09/2019 20:12

What happens if he stops having a shower but then the sound of the water running into the basin or the sound of the boiler coming on wakes the child up? Will he be banned from washing at all?

Use cold water.

Run water into basin at a trickle and get up at 3.30am to accommodate extra trickle time allowance.

Or run water into bowl the night before.

Or use baby wipes

What if the sound of him flushing the toilet wakes the child up? Will you ban him from using the toilet before work?

Use a potty and empty in the evening.

Crap in a nappy

Cheeserton · 13/09/2019 20:36

What are these strip washes posters refer to?

Well, basically they're what people used to do a lot of the time in the olden days before showers were invented.

IHaveBrilloHair · 13/09/2019 21:01

They involve fanny flannels and face flannels and a hell of a lot of faff.
Just get in the shower for two minutes ffs, the toddler will get used to it.

Cheeserton · 13/09/2019 21:58

Just get in the shower for two minutes ffs, the toddler will get used to it.

That's crazy talk - the kitchen's where it's really at. We should all strip off and fanny flannel in the kitchen. Grin

ALoadOfTwaddle · 13/09/2019 22:17

They involve fanny flannels and face flannels and a hell of a lot of faff.

No, you use one flannel and you go from least dirty (face) to most dirty (genitals). Then you put the flannel in a washing machine. They can be used in place of a shower but are more usually a go-between that covers face, armpits and genitals in between showers/baths. I'd call it a basin wash.

Cheeserton · 13/09/2019 23:09

No, you use one flannel and you go from least dirty (face) to most dirty (genitals). Then you put the flannel in a washing machine.
Washing machine? You mean, scrub it on a washboard with carbolic soap, rinse then pass through a mangle. Then, clean the hearth, light the fire and dry it off.

IHaveBrilloHair · 13/09/2019 23:19

I proper snorted.Grin
Strip washes belong in those times.

ALoadOfTwaddle · 13/09/2019 23:21

Washing machine? You mean, scrub it on a washboard with carbolic soap, rinse then pass through a mangle. Then, clean the hearth, light the fire and dry it off.

Well, whatever floats your boat 🤷

Cheeserton · 13/09/2019 23:34

Well, whatever floats your boat

When it comes to getting clean in a quick and convenient way, it's showers definitely float my boat.

maz7777 · 13/09/2019 23:42

When is his day off? Because I'd be showering at 4am and fucking off somewhere so he can deal with DC. Every single time.

This. What a dick.

Cheeserton · 13/09/2019 23:52

This. What a dick.

Of course, because he's obviously 'fucking off' somewhere just for a lark, not going to work out of necessity or anything... Must be hours of fun for him getting up at four every day.

maz7777 · 13/09/2019 23:55

Christ give it a rest. He's going to work, not climbing Mount Everest. His shower doesn't trump 2 other peoples sleep.

Cheeserton · 14/09/2019 00:04

His shower doesn't trump 2 other peoples sleep

You give it a rest. He's having a sodding shower, not blasting drum n' bass out. It's minor, normal background noise that most wouldn't be nearly so damn precious about. And actually, going to work at stupid o'clock in the morning everyday counts for quite a lot. Stop acting like he's making the whole house quake or something. It's absolutely ridiculous.

maz7777 · 14/09/2019 00:14

I wouldn't actually be happy with the knowledge that I was waking my young child up every day with no need to and causing them to be tired unnecessarily. But you seem like you'd be ok with that.

Cheeserton · 14/09/2019 00:25

But you seem like you'd be ok with that.
My child is used to normal noise levels of daily life and doesn't wake up just because I shower, probably because there's not been ludicrous levels of cocooning from normal life. Knock it off already. The guy showers before work like most normal people do.

maz7777 · 14/09/2019 03:48

😂😂😂 yeah at 4am.

OwlBeThere · 14/09/2019 04:14

All the angst Hmm
I CANT go to work without having a shower...I mean, you can, you won’t spontaneously combust as you step out the door without one.

OwlBeThere · 14/09/2019 04:17

It’s nothing to do with kids being cocooned from normal life. All my kids have been raised the same with noise around them, 3 of them would sleep through the zombie apocalypse, the 4th is like me and wakes at the least sound. The sound of the light switch in my sons room from the attic when i sleep downstairs wakes me. It’s just how we both are.

ThatCurlyGirl · 14/09/2019 05:41

The irony I woke up for no reason whatsoever at 4am, couldn't get back to sleep quickly, stupidly browsed through Mumsnet and now it's 5.41am and I'm reading a thread about this.

I have no kids. And DP doesn't live with me.

So I'm being a selfish dickhead to myself and I'll be having stern words with me about my sleep hygiene tomorrow.

After a nice quiet strip wash no earlier than 10am so as not to disturb the neighbours.

ALoadOfTwaddle · 14/09/2019 07:11

So I'm being a selfish dickhead to myself and I'll be having stern words with me about my sleep hygiene tomorrow.

Well, you're not exactly being a selfish dickhead because there's no one to wake and even if there were, browsing through Mumsnet probably wouldn't wake them. And 5.41 is a fairly reasonable time to wake imo- that's my toddler's standard get-up time. She goes to bed at half six so she gets her 11 hours.

FunkySnidge · 14/09/2019 07:16

Yabu
I'm sure it's annoying for you having to deal with a toddler that has woken up too early but it's not like he is getting up at that time for his own entertainment.
If he was dictating when you use the shower I'm sure you would be complaining to mumsnet.
Your toddler needs to get used to sharing living space with other family members.

InfiniteCurve · 14/09/2019 07:22

If my DH was waking me up with a shower at 4am I'd be livid,let alone him waking the baby!
Sleep is more important than having a shower exactly when you want.

InfiniteCurve · 14/09/2019 07:35

Plus every bloke I know has a morning bowel routine that requires a shower.

What?? Confused
I can produce ideas about what this might mean but they are too gross to contemplate? In what world does when you go to the loo dictate when you need a shower???

Floralmoral · 14/09/2019 08:06

Plus every bloke I know has a morning bowel routine that requires a shower.

Not sure how true that is but reminded me of my ex who would actually shower every time he went for a poo. He was like a happy little duckie in the shower too, leaving the bathroom flooded each time, the arsehole that he was.
He couldn’t comprehend that some people don’t do it.

DecomposingComposers · 14/09/2019 08:41

Sleep is more important than having a shower exactly when you want.

I reckon the husband would also prefer to be asleep rather than getting up at 4am. He's not doing it for his own amusement is he?

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