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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh showers at 4am disrupting toddler

308 replies

Surfskatefamily · 09/09/2019 19:41

Aibu in asking him to shower the night before instead?

He seems to think I'm unreasonable. However he doesn't see how unsettled this leaves our son all day. He was sleeping through most nights before this. And has gone back to 2 or 3wake ups average and an earlier up time.

The shower is right next to sons bedroom

OP posts:
MerryChristmasHarry · 12/09/2019 15:15

As the child is a toddler, being a selfish arse is pretty much implied, whatever time they go to bed.

DecomposingComposers · 12/09/2019 15:21

As the child is a toddler, being a selfish arse is pretty much implied, whatever time they go to bed.

Well then I assume that the op is doing everything that she can to ensure that the house is quiet once her husband is in bed - I especially hope that she doesn't shower in the evening once he's gone to bed.

Hobbesmanc · 12/09/2019 15:30

Poor bloke. Thats a really early start. Blokes are often sweatier than women so showering isn't always an option the night before. Plus every bloke I know has a morning bowel routine that requires a shower.

Pinkblueberry · 12/09/2019 15:34

If it’s that noisy, I would prioritise getting the shower fixed really - why is it so loud? If it can’t be helped, then yes he should probably have a shower the night before but if I had to get up at 4 I would like a shower to wake me up too.

MerryChristmasHarry · 12/09/2019 15:35

I think some of the posters on here would be absolutely thrilled if OP showered while her husband is in bed!

FrauHaribo · 12/09/2019 17:31

You can't tiptoe around a child. They need to learn to get use to the noise and normal family life

that nonsense again.
All children are different. Some sleep through noise, some don't. Same with adults!

Of course being a normal human being means you are being considerate to your family. You get up when they are asleep, you stay as quiet as possible. That's how most of us live, and it makes for such a happier life.

Some posters should try it!

FrauHaribo · 12/09/2019 17:32

Plus every bloke I know has a morning bowel routine that requires a shower

I do not want any detail, thanks, but.. WTF does that even mean?!?

Please don't answer, I can happily carry on without ever knowing the answer Grin

PuffHuffle5 · 12/09/2019 18:21

Hehe @FrauHaribo I was going to ask the same, then thought better of it Grin

joblotbubble · 12/09/2019 18:27

Plus every bloke I know has a morning bowel routine that requires a shower.

I don't know where you meet your men but may I suggest you stop going there.

ALoadOfTwaddle · 12/09/2019 18:40

Plus every bloke I know has a morning bowel routine that requires a shower

The mind boggles. Envy < not envy

WillowPeach · 12/09/2019 18:44

Going to work without a shower is grim. Think about sweating etc. If it’s a problem that’s clearly going to be ongoing, could bedrooms be swapped over? I can’t imagine going to work straight from bed Shock

Cheeserton · 12/09/2019 19:03

It really isn't bollocks to suggest that children can't or shouldn't be protected from all background noise. It's really normal. And necessary. And useful.

ALoadOfTwaddle · 12/09/2019 19:05

Going to work without a shower is grim.

Oh, bloody hell. Here we go again.

Unless you have some form of gland disorder or similar you will not have gotten filthy between bathing the night before and heading off to work the next morning. You can always do a basin wash as a top up if needed.

RedHelenB · 12/09/2019 19:25

I have to shower on a morning before work so I think yabu. That's why its best to get babies used to going to sleep when there is some noise going on.

Do you work?

ALoadOfTwaddle · 12/09/2019 19:47

I have to shower on a morning before work so I think yabu. That's why its best to get babies used to going to sleep when there is some noise going on.

You really don't. And some just won't, trust me- after thirteen months of our baby waking everytime the washing machine comes on, we've learned not to put the bloody thing on while she's asleep!

Morgan12 · 12/09/2019 20:11

This thread is mental.

How dirty are all your beds? 😂

joblotbubble · 12/09/2019 21:19

How dirty are all your beds? 😂

There is some proper filth in my bed Grin

SimonJT · 12/09/2019 21:20

@Morgan12 Depends on what we’ve been getting upto!

Morgan12 · 12/09/2019 21:27

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Nuttyfellalovesnutella · 12/09/2019 22:22

You have a toddler problem, not a DH one.

I also would function poorly without having a shower first thing in the morning. Your toddler needs to “child-up” - but maybe white noise from YouTube would help. Or child sleeps downstairs.

Aridane · 13/09/2019 00:51

You have a toddler problem, not a DH one

My favourite sentence of the thread!!

mathanxiety · 13/09/2019 02:08

Child sleeps downstairs so dad can wake him while making himself breakfast or slamming the door as he leaves.

I am amazed that many people here seem to think that having a baby or toddler who sleeps very lightly indicates that the parents haven't been firm enough or haven't tried many ways of getting them to sleep through small noises. It's almost as if some of you believe that other parents have no experience whatsoever of parenting their own babies...

PumpkinPieAlibi · 13/09/2019 02:21

Waking at 4am is awful.. I've been doing it for 7.5 years and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I really, really would not function well without one and I live in the tropics so it's madness to not shower twice a day...both before work and bed.

Amazing though, how a man waking up at 4 to support his family is selfish. I suppose OP and her husband could switch roles but that just won't do as there's a man to be blamed here so that's the answer. Hmm

This place is bonkers. Children and mothers are placed on this pedestal and can do no wrong. Confused

BeepBeeep · 13/09/2019 02:32

👍 @PumpkinPieAlibi

BeepBeeep · 13/09/2019 02:36

My kids were exposed to domestic noise as soon as they came home from hospital.
The dog barking. T.V or radio on. Washing machine on. Hoover on etc.
Like adults do, they got used to the noise and slept through most things, including the shower and kettle going on at 4.15 in the morning.