To report this to Head of Year? *warning- explicit*

[mumofthree74]

Namechanged.

DD is 11 and has recently started at secondary school. She was added to the year 7 WhatsApp group a few weeks back which is mostly the girls talking about homework/uniform/school stuff.

Tonight another parent called me and told me to check the chat. One of the girls had shared the attached picture

I've removed DD from the chat and deleted the photo from her phone (autosave to camera roll) but I'm wondering if I should notify the school. I'm no prude but I'm truly horrified that an 11 year old would share it or even understand it.

I'm a new secondary parent and do recognise that the school are no as interested in out of school issue than primary but this feels like it crosses a safeguarding line?

Oh my goodness, it's vile!

Jesus wept, I have a 10 month old DD - is this what’s normal for 11 year-old girls now?

I think the fact that 100 girls’ parents either sanctioned them being on that WhatsApp group or don’t know/care what their daughters are doing online is a clear indicator of the woeful lack of knowledge around social media nowadays 😦.

@ReanimatedSGB

This is a joke that refers to sex. It does not refer to abuse, non-consensual sex, or any kind of hate crime. It is basically harmless. The sex it's referring to is straightforward PIV sex, nothing else - and kids of 11 will know what PIV sex is because they will at least have been taught how babies are made.

I’m genuinely surprised at this comment. I’ve been on here for years, joined after you, and I’ve generally nodded along to most of your posts in agreement, finding them generally sensible and mature.

I can’t believe you can’t see the difference between the mechanics of sex (birds and bees, babies, PIV etc) that 99.9% of 11 year olds know about (and should), and:

• something that’s about sex that’s not embarrassedly/nervously/giggly funny (like using a term like willy might be) but, to an 11yo, confusingly “funny”. To an adult it’s not remotely funny but your average 11yo will probably think ‘huh? Why would you want to be like a snail? Why is it funny to leak from your bits?’. Most 11yo I know just won’t get why they should be finding this funny or cool

• the word cum instead of semen or ejaculate or even jizz. Cum is from porn. Ejaculate is from your biology textbook. 11yo’s probably don’t talk about either all that much, but if they did definitely won’t be using ejaculate bit they also certainly wouldn’t be using ‘cum’. 11 year olds talking like porn videos shouldn’t happen

• ditto for pussy

• most importantly, why a girl should be saying she loves this. It’s an adult idea, to want to please your boyfriend using sex, especially in a way that doesn’t benefit the girl/woman at all. These are not grown women who can choose whether to have this kind of relationship with men or sex or their bodies, or use sex as a tool in this way (or all the thousand other things that this kind of ‘joke’ hints at in the realm of women and their bodies and sex).

These are young children. 11 year olds go to summer camp, read Harry Potter, eat sweets, pay no bills, get spelling homework, cry when they hurt themselves, may not have started their periods yet, have adults cook food for them and take them to the doctors and house them and raise them emotionally and physically and......FFS!! THEY’RE 11!! This is not normal and not should it be.

Cum and pussy and recreational sex and girl pleasing boys through sex to their detriment and anyone finding that good-funny - NONE of that is appropriate for an 11yo.

Dont be stupid whatevs

Gish that is so vile.

I am more repulsed though by some responses suggesting that we should all just sit back and accept that this is how things are these days. Just no.
Acceptance of this makes it a non-issue. This would be a massive deal for me and no way would I not report it. Otherwise if we as parents fail to challenge these things where does it all end?

Thank you 7salmon.

Does the school have any kind of behaviour contract or conduct policy? I'm pretty sure I have signed up to a workplace IT usage agreement that would mean I and my other fully adult and sexually aware colleagues would be prevented from circulating/opening things like this on computers provided there, even if the account may be my own, never mind 11 year olds. If I read your OP correctly, this content has been mixed in with school and homework stuff? Perhaps a letter to the school explaining why you will not be allowing the use of all-age apps or accounts that are not under the watch of that school for the purposes of passing on school-related information in yr 7.

I think this is a WhatsApp group separate to school.
Lots of students have them.

Apparently one of my GCSE classes had one where they'd share photos of revision notes from sessions for people who missed revision. There was lots of other gossip and generally being year 11s too but it was a mix of reminders frrom peers about school and general chat.

*Lolasmiles
*
I actually think it's an awful reflection on a primary school and the local kids/ families in general. Yes I'd be horrified if this happened at my ds school. Thankfully he is not allowed to use the internet.

Yes you need to report it so the safeguarding lead can deal with it.

I dont let mine on what's app x

I would report this too.