To report this to Head of Year? *warning- explicit*

[mumofthree74]

Namechanged.

DD is 11 and has recently started at secondary school. She was added to the year 7 WhatsApp group a few weeks back which is mostly the girls talking about homework/uniform/school stuff.

Tonight another parent called me and told me to check the chat. One of the girls had shared the attached picture

I've removed DD from the chat and deleted the photo from her phone (autosave to camera roll) but I'm wondering if I should notify the school. I'm no prude but I'm truly horrified that an 11 year old would share it or even understand it.

I'm a new secondary parent and do recognise that the school are no as interested in out of school issue than primary but this feels like it crosses a safeguarding line?

I would definitely report it to the school. I would be horrified if my dd read stuff like that in Year 7. That child needs to learn now that images/writing like that cannot be shared on social media as there are consequences. Better to get it sorted now.

As somebody else said it may even be a sign that things are going on at home for the child which are not too good.

*“They shouldn’t have an account until 16. This is just one of many reasons why. Lesson learnt”

A whatsapp account? Whatsapp is just like texting? It’s not the app that’s the problem *

parentinfo.org/article/whatsapp-a-guide-for-parents-and-carers

WhatsApp does now have an age limit of 16. Year 7s should not be using it.

My assumption is that the photo was of OPs DD. Hence bullying and needing to be reported. If that's not the case then I would not report.

Yes I would report it. That is disgusting

I have a year 7 DD and I say report. The school should know better than to mention your DD's name so it won't make her unpopular.

I'd report it to hoy. School SHOULD be interested in this stuff, it's most of what our pastoral staff deal with on a daily basis. Talk to the hoy, with as much detail as you can, ie which child shared it, when, etc. The hoy will have a word with that child, deal with it appropriately (hopefully) and you won't hear anything more about it (because they can't talk to you about another child).

I would mention it. More than likely it is a crass picture and thought that she looked cool sending it. But sexualised language and behaviour from a child is a red flag for sexual abuse and even though it is the minutest chance, if the school has it on record, if anything else happens they have all the info available to them.

Not having a mobile phone at age 11 is NOT unreasonable. I don't give a shit if it's 2019 or 2229.

Please please report!

Yeah! And also what distancecall said!

WhatsApp is not like texting in that the majority of people use "group chats". This sort of environment it is much easier for kids to gang up on each other and for things to get out of hand.

I don't think it is unreasonable to not allow an 11 YO to have a phone - or perhaps to have one but not have internet access on it. However I think most 11 year old would vehemently disgree

I wouldn’t report it. What good will it do? You’ll feel better probably but what will actually be the result? The kids have all seen it now anyway.

Definitely definitely report it. If they decide to do nothing then that's their decision. But they should be aware. As others have said it's a real red flag for safeguarding.

And to answer your question, yes I would report this to head of year and tell them which sent it as well as screenshots if you can.
They may not be able to do anything about this particular incident but if the same sort of thing is happening a lot it will help build a picture.

I wouldn’t report it. What good will it do? You’ll feel better probably but what will actually be the result? The kids have all seen it now anyway

What a weird logic! The reason to report it is to prevent this sort of thing happening again. Imagine if someone punched your kid at school, would your response be "well what's the point in reporting it, he has already been punched so you can't prevent it"

Some of the stuff they see on instagram is on par with this. Its one image of about 743454 mil. Delete the picture, talk to DD and keep an eye on the whatsapp group. If another image like that pops up again then remove her from the group I say.

Oh god that is absolutely disgusting! Why on earth would 11 year olds be having sex anyway! That's a major safeguarding concern. I'd report it !

The reason to report it is to prevent this sort of thing happening again. Imagine if someone punched your kid at school, would your response be "well what's the point in reporting it, he has already been punched so you can't prevent it"

It’s a vile picture don’t get me wrong but not reporting it is hardly the same as allowing someone to get away with punching a child it won’t stop things like that happening again- this is what a lot of kids do whether we like it or not and whether they make it known or not. As a PP said, even a lot of the stuff on Instagram is on par to that.

@EmmiJay I've already removed her and she's not allowed to rejoin it.

If there are any other incidents I will be deleting WhatsApp.

That's just grim. Definitely report to the school.

I think the view that most kids of that age won't understand it is very naive IME
Sadly

as the parent of a high schooler this kind of stuff is just par for the course

As a secondary teacher I disagree that this is par for the course in year 7. They are only 11! I would report this. I think age is significant here and would be less likely to say report if the child was in year 10 say.

Oversexualised language can be a sign of abuse so the school must know so they can speak to the girl and her parents.

This is 100% a safeguarding issue.
Also an E-Safety incident.

This is inappropriate content, something which year 7's are expected to be taught about at the start of year 7 in computing lessons.

I am currently teaching my year 7s about this.

Also the school would be interested in this, its a sign of possible sexual activity. I stress the word Possible.
It wouldn't be the first time.

Their parents need to be informed, that's the schools job though.

To anyone here who seems to think it's OK, or not to tell the school needs their head checking.

Sadly many of the Year 7’s here would understand that. I’d definitely report to school as god forbid if the child is engaged in any sexual activity it’s a safeguarding issue.

I am actually gobsmacked at the parents on here saying not to report it

That is vile and well out of normal behaviour for even fairly savvy year 7s

I’m guessing/hoping the girl got it from an older sibling and actually doesn’t understand it but surely no one thinks they can just shrug and move on about that?

Report it to HOY. Your DD won’t get involved or blamed as it’s a year wide group chat so nothing to link your DD in particular.

The fact that adults turn a blind eye to this is contributing hugely to the rise of over sexualisation of our youngsters.

I’m genuinely appalled.