To not think this is weird?

[ExpertPuppy]

On my name changed account for this.

My son is 19 and is a single dad to a 2 year old girl (mum isn't on the scene) and she lives with us permanently.

So occasionally if GD won't sleep in her own room and wants son. He puts her in his bed and lies next to her until she goes to sleep and then he leaves her there. But when he goes to bed he co sleeps with her and doesn't move her back to her own room.

When he did this before when a family member was visiting she said it's weird.

Do you think this is weird?

TabbyMumz, cot death is prevented by co sleeping.

We know have proven that there's no reason to not do safe co sleeping.

All of the cases you hear about involve drink or drugs, or sleeping in a chair/couch

Omg...cot death is so not prevented by co sleeping. .

You need to intervene. Is he working? How is he supporting them?

@TabbyMumz

Omg...cot death is so not prevented by co sleeping.

Actually in many cases it is as babies rely on hearing their parents breathing.

Are drink and drugs free then?

Yes he's been working a few days a week since GD was about 1

No, most parents co-sleep a bit I don't think it's weird.

Quite frankly the whole set up is weird?

19yo single dad, sole custody of 2yo, likes to drink and take drugs!

Why is it weird? Why can he not be a single dad? Why shouldn't he have the occasional night out?

I have not read your other thread but this sounds fine & like your son and GD are well bonded. You must be proud of him for stepping up so young. Plenty of young men wouldn't.

@TabbyMumz unfortunately a lot of the cases of cot death that are covered by the media, involve headlines along the lines of ‘co sleeping parents cause cot death’ but when you read the article, actually they were asleep on the sofa with their baby or weren’t co sleeping safely (had been drinking/smoking/drugs)

Please also bear in mind it is called ‘cot death’ not ‘cosleeping death’
Anyway as someone else has pointed out, for a two year old, the risk of SIDS is extremely low anyway.

Op, your son is not weird for co sleeping and is probably doing your daughter some good while she goes through this ‘clingy’ stage by being available for her when she needs him. I’m concerned about him doing drugs as it’s not a responsible parenting choice, but I guess you know that. I guess as long as he stays away from his dd whenever he is on them, there is little more I can say.

@Crunchymum I don’t think a 19 year old man stepping up to raise his daughter is weird. I commend him for doing so and trying to do right by his child. So many 17 year olds would have walked away from the girlfriends at the point she said she was pg, so I think the op should be really proud of her son for raising his daughter.

"Actually in many cases it is as babies rely on hearing their parents breathing."

That's not been proven, it's a theory, and a loose one at that.

TabbyMumz it isn't a loose theory. Which is why you put them in your room to sleep for six months.

Next you'll be saying that skin to skin hasn't been proven.

How often is he drinking and drug taking OP? And what drugs does he do?

No. Not weird.

"TabbyMumzit isn't a loose theory. Which is why you put them in your room to sleep for six months."

It is very very much a theory. No scientific tests have been done around that. It is a theory. As other people on similar threads point out. There are other reasons they tell you to put them in your room to sleep, which are more viable. Such as you being able to hear them if they are in difficulty. They do not know for sure that they regulate their breathing to yours.

TabbyMumz one of the reasons it was looked at again was because of the research done on skin to skin.

We had a seven week old baby, in the family die of what was first diagnosed to ne cot death in 1997. There was a lung specialist in Alderhey (our local hospital). He asked uf he could do his own autopsy. The family agreed. The baby was found to have died from what was thought to be a rare form of Bronchiolitis. We now know that it wasn't as rare as thought and a lot of babies thought to have died from cot death, probably didn't.

This promoted other research. Which is why the advice changed.

Who thought it was weird and why? probably anyone who has read the OP's previous thread about her son's drink/drug habit

So you don't agree with skin to skin then, because it's all connected?

There all theories backed up by research. As is a lot of healthcare, until we get absolute findings.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3686803-fed-up-with-son

The OP has said she is worried about his drink/drug use.

He drinks probably about 4/7 days a week and takes drugs once of twice a week. I think he takes cocaine

What's your real worry, OP, and who said it was weird?

So for 4 or 5 out 7 days a week he is intoxicated with drink and / or drugs and I presume leaving you to look after his two year old?

Yabu to declare him a great df.
He is imo a risk to his dd taking drugs.
Yabu not to apply for guardianship and shown him the door.
Yabu to hint for posters to support him on this thread.
A selfless df /dm Co sleeping is supported.
Not a drug taking one.
However many bloody nights of the week /month he takes drugs.
I had my dd at 17 and managed to not take drugs while raising her alone.

This is another post about the drinking and drug taking son?

He drinks 4 days out of 7, and does coke once or twice a week?! What?!

How much money is he spending on this?? And how the hell is he getting the money to spend on it??

He really isn't a great Dad if this is true, he should be at home, working full-time, and not getting off his head more than half of the week! It's pretty disgusting really.

If SS found out about this they would investigate!