To not think this is weird?

[ExpertPuppy]

On my name changed account for this.

My son is 19 and is a single dad to a 2 year old girl (mum isn't on the scene) and she lives with us permanently.

So occasionally if GD won't sleep in her own room and wants son. He puts her in his bed and lies next to her until she goes to sleep and then he leaves her there. But when he goes to bed he co sleeps with her and doesn't move her back to her own room.

When he did this before when a family member was visiting she said it's weird.

Do you think this is weird?

Com sleeping was poo pool's a long time ago because of cot death. I'm amazed its come back as a thing. She needs to learn to sleep in her own bed, and yes it could become weird as she gets older, or he gets a girlfriend.

As long as he’s sober then not at all weird - although personally (me or DH) never sleep a full night with the kids as they wriggle/squirm/steal covers/sleep the wrong way round across the bed - so I always lift them back own beds after an hour or so of lively squishy cuddles 😁 😂

co sleeping if perfectly normal. I still do it sometimes and my son is 8!

Not weird at all as long as he's sober.

He goes out when he takes drugs or drinks and he only goes out if she goes down to sleep ok. Last night he was going to go out but he didn't because she kept crying and calling him and wouldn't settle with me when I went to her because he was doing something.

@TabbyMumz co-sleeping does not increase cot death if it is done correctly.

At 2 years old, the risk of SIDS is drastically low: "The vast majority of SIDS deaths happen when babies are less than 6 months old; with the highest number happening at 2-4 months old" from the Lullaby Trust website.

Think before you post.

TabbyMumz, cot death is prevented by co sleeping.

We know have proven that there's no reason to not do safe co sleeping.

All of the cases you hear about involve drink or drugs, or sleeping in a chair/couch.

Who thought it was weird and why?

The co-sleeping is not weird at all.

On the other hand going out to take drugs etc and leaving his child in someone else’s care while he does so is weird. Parenting entails responsibilities.

Not weird as long as he isn’t sleeping with her after he’s come home from being out partying (though if I was a single parent and the only parent in my child’s life, I’d not be out doing drugs and drinking loads).

Otherwise, not weird, both our dc slept with my dh and I (him alone when I’m not there), eldest til she was 3.5 and youngest still at nearly 2.

Not weird, it's weird you allow your son to live with you and go out on the lash and take drugs. He is a parent and should be more responsible!

I still co-sleep with DS. He's 2.

I don't drink (if I do on the odd occasion it's only a glass or 2). I don't smoke. He still bfs too.

It is not weird to comfort your child to sleep. It is not weird for a father to comfort his child, just the same as it's not weird for a mother to comfort her child.

There are some views that a child should be separated from their mother as soon as possible. We're encouraged to stop breastfeeding to 'make our lives easier', to stop co-sleeping to 'get children to learn how to sleep on their own' and told that if we don't we're 'making a rod for our own backs' (probably the least favourite phrase I've had hrown at me)

Every family must do what they feel is right. If that's stopping breastfeeding to get some decent sleep, so be it. If it's sleeping with the whole family in one bed, so be it. It is NOT for others to judge someone else's family situation or a child's temperament. Every child is different so their responses to various techniques will all be different. We're all just trying to do our best for our children, to keep them safe and happy, and that's all we should be concerned with.

She can sleep in her own bed but sometimes she cries for him if she's teething or very tired or wants cuddles.

When she's older she probably wouldn't want to co sleep with him anyway but at the moment she is clingy and wants him a lot and even cries when he goes to work and is very unhappy until he comes home.

What I think is weird is that you tolerate him leaving his daughter with you so that he can go out and take drugs.

Poor little girl.

Of course it isn't weird.
My only concern is if he rolls onto her and hurts her.

I don't tolerate him taking drugs or drinking alot. But I wouldn't mind if he wanted to go out once a month or one every few months etc to drink and not drinking alot. That's why i posted yesterday

Most definitely not weird. My DH often goes in the spare room with DD (4 years old) if she refuses to go back to sleep on her own and won't resettle in her own bed. She always asks for Daddy when she's unsettled at night and I definitely don't mind as it means I get a decent nights sleep or can focus on our baby (who I often end up co-sleeping with). Clearly he shouldn't be doing that if drink/drugs have been involved though. I do however think the drugs need be stopped-he's got a precious daughter to look after, don't let him ruin it all by taking drugs.

Not weird at all as long as he is sober and not smoking ect

Oh I didn't realise he had a drink and drug problem. Now I feel sad for the little girl

That family member is weird. Co-sleeping is completely normal and good for children.

It’s not weird to co-sleep, but he needs to stop with the drink & especially the drugs.
He’s a single parent. What would he do if they lived in their own house/flat? Why don’t they?

He goes out when he takes drugs or drinks and he only goes out if she goes down to sleep ok

Well that's weird right there, what kind of responsible parent goes out taking drugs and drinking on any night? Are you enabling this immature and irresponsible behaviour? I feel sorry for the poor child, do you tell her where her dad is if she wakes up whne he's on a bender?

She asks where he is and I say he's gone out. I don't enable it but I don't know what can do to get him to stop taking drugs.

They don't have there own house/flat because when GD was born he was 17 and was still in sixth form. But now he doesn't have enough money.

PlinkPlink

@TabbyMumzco-sleeping does not increase cot death if it is done correctly.

At 2 years old, the risk of SIDS is drastically low: "The vast majority ofSIDSdeaths happen when babies are less than 6 monthsold; with the highest number happening at2-4 monthsold" from the Lullaby Trust website.

Think before you post.

How funny....."think before you post!!", how funny and rude. My post stated how it used to be poo pood as was dangerous. I didn't refer to ages. I was commenting on how it's now a "thing". Even giving it a posh name and making out its trendy to "cool sleep". Lots of people slept with their child until they were warned of the risks .

Co sleep, not cool sleep