This is a long one, please stay with me lol.
SIL and BIL are extremely bad with managing their finances. They live in rented accommodation, with 2 DC. I've been with DP 4 years, and in that time, have witnessed DP be pressured into lending SIL large amounts of money by their mother.
Their rent is around £700 a month, SIL is a SAHM and BIL doesn't have stable work, so no stable income. They go on luxury holidays, buy very expensive dogs and cars, all while borrowing money from DP to pay their rent, feed their children etc.
Myself and DP are youngish, and both lived at home when I fell pregnant, which meant we wanted/needed to move out of our family homes and move in together, in our own house. While we were hastily saving for a deposit before DD arrived (with absolutely no savings prior) MIL was pressuring DP to give money he had saved for this to SIL. He refused since he knew how she was choosing to spend her money and why she was short for rent etc. and explained we actually needed this money for a home for ourselves and DD when she arrived. MIL then turned around, furious, saying he was leaving his SIL and her DC homeless and without food! He was leaving them in that state?! She didn't care about how we needed that money for ourselves and our child! DP annoyingly but understandably ended up giving them the money.
DP has also ended up paying for their shopping, rent on many more occasions and sometimes, I don't even know what they are asking for the money for. We are not well off ourselves, we now live in our own home, but I myself am a SAHM so DPs wage is the only income we have and it's not a lot, he is an apprentice.
Their money situation has became so bad recently, they decided to move out of rented accommodation and back in with BILs parents (who they are aware treat their DC appallingly). So their money situation is that poor they are choosing to live with people who borderline abuse their children, but are still going on holidays, buying new cars etc.
As I said earlier, I am a SAHM and DP an apprentice, we have a home to run and a child to provide for, we're left with little money at the end of the month. Now whilst since we have moved out, they have not asked for any money (knowing we could not afford to lend it) they have started doing what feels like using us, in other ways.
They come round to see DD, but as soon as they sit down will say "ok, what are you feeding us". Myself and DP meal plan as a means to save money, which means we buy enough for one set meal for breakfast, dinner and tea everyday. We never plan for them to come for breakfast/dinner/tea, so when they do this, we are subsequently left a meal short for that week.
I don't feel as though I can say this to them though, as before or straight after they have asked for food, they will say because of their poor money situation, they have nothing in the fridge at home etc etc.
SILs excuse for her poor management of money is that she has a very poorly controlled illness which means she may not live as long as someone who doesn't have it (but it doesn't mean she will die tomorrow) so she wants to make memories with her DP and DC. AIBU to think this is an awful excuse to almost lose your home and leave yourself and children without food?
AIBU to feel we are being used and that we shouldn't be made to help someone who puts themselves in such situations because they aren't careful with their finances? AIBU to be livid with MIL for pressuring DP to lend money we desperately save up and need ourselves whilst she has a rich husband who could lend SIL money no problem, but she won't ask?