To think that no one, absolutely no one can understand my devastation.....

[Toooldtobearsed2]

Crap subject, I know. But we currently have a touring caravan which is sited in a beautiful part of the country.
We go there for, perhaps, 6 weeks in total throughout the year, but split into 2 or 3 ight stays iyswim.
DH has complained ad nauseum about not being able to sleep, getting tight chested ( hay fever) and being uncomfortable.
I am not a bitch. If he hates it, it simply does not work. So, we are selling said van. Tomorrow, 3 sets of potential buyers are viewing. We will get a sale - it is a huge bargain.
I cannot stop crying. This is my happy place, where I can truly relax, walk for miles, eat delicious food, flump.
It is the right thing to do. I know that. But it is breaking my heart.
First world problems and all that. Just wanted to spread my misery😄

DONT SELL YOUR VAN ! You will regret it for the rest of your life. I have hay fever from February to November and i have asthma, I live in the country surrounded by fields and i am fine, his hayfever is easily controlled, What the hell has his pending hip replacement got to do with the caravan ? My Dh was a scaffolder right up until the day before his hip replacement. He is being a selfish bloody drama Queen, dont allow him to ruin your happy days

Try a dehumidifier/air purifier. I got tight chested and felt generally crap in our holiday home due to stale damp air ( mould spores irritating my previously almost non existent asthma) and dehumidifier sorted it out. I couldn’t have coped with it otherwise but so glad it worked. Just try it.

Aw, so sorry your caravan is going.

But your relationship with your DH sounds lovely.

He is your Happy Place.

Sorry OP, that sounds really disappointing. If you don’t want to go by yourself rather than with him, or can’t justify the cost of keeping it just for you, it’s just not the same.

Hope you manage to sell and spend the money on something you can both enjoy

Well it’s not a competition of who has the shittest life. It’s possible to have sympathy for people struggling to feed themselves as well as sympathy for people with “first world problems”.

@namechanging2019
I am sorry, I don't know who you are? I came on to have a self pitying whinge, I fully acknowledged that.
I spend 3 days a week volunteering for a charity. I foster animals . I have stage 4 breast cancer and when younger knew real poverty.and I mean real poverty
I will not be coming back to this post because I should not feel the need to defend myself when I just wanted a fucking friendly ear.

To everyone else - sincere thanks.

@SleepyKat

I didn't ever say it was but there's frankly no comparison. To see the posts on here recently (such as the woman whos partner died suddenly and very young) shows the kind of things that really affect peoples lives. I have no desire to try and source sympathy for those with 'first world problems'. The op did post on AIBU so people are welcome to disagree. It clearly was for the purpose of having a whine while living in her own little bubble.

When you say he tried Piriton it makes me wonder if he’s actually been to see his GP? There are a lot more effective allergy tablets through prescription, such as Telfast. Sorry if this been covered already, I didn’t have time to read the whole post.

Can’t he take a piriton like everyone else? Or get a stronger tablet from the doctors? There are plenty of remedies that he could have

I think some posters were just trying to help. You're clearly heartbroken about having to sell so suggestions were made for how you could possibly keep it. And then (obviously because you're upset) you did kind of snap back, saying how you were being "slated" and "will crawl back into your hole", etc which was a bit disproportionate.

@Whatevskev did you miss this? I have stage 4 breast cancer

I note you say "recent diagnosis of a terminal illness" so perhaps the OP just doesn't meet your criteria.

Stage 4 breast cancer is when it has spread. There is no cure. It can, with medical support, be controlled - though how long for depends upon where it's spread to. But the OP's life expectancy must be regarded accordingly, as must her quality of life when having chemo and various drugs to try to lengthen that life expectancy.

People whining that a woman in that position minds time apart from her spouse, and losing the chance of spending time with that spouse in a place she loves and feels restored by, and that this constitutes First World Problems and she should think of others, need to either read more carefully, or develop a little more compassion.

You never know what other people are living with and coping through, anyway, and it's completely normal to focus on a seemingly smaller issue when dealing with the unfathomably huge. I wish people online tried to remember that a little more.

I feel your pain - we are selling our lively house in Hampshire which has been our holiday home for 14 years - because kids won’t come now and it’s just big and mostly empty - but my beautiful garden! I live it there so much but we have other things to invest the money in and we don’t use it much now so it has to go - breaks my heart though! We now have an offer on it and I actually really resent the buyers! Crazy I know but I’m so attached.

Could you replace it with a tent maybe? (runs for cover).

Oh God! So sorry Op - hadn’t read whole thread until after posting my reply which must appear so flippant! Not intentional and I do of course wish you the very best.

@Toomuchtrouble4me actually I think your post was really kind and understanding. If only others had posted in such a manner.

What's that saying - be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle? That.

Haven’t read every post and you may already know this (but not everyone does); there are lots of different types of antihistamine and it may just be a case of finding one that works. For example, loratadine doesn’t work for me or my husband, but cetirizine does. Might be worth trying a few types.

@perfectstorm

The OP said first world problems herself in the post. She also made the whole thing about her DH's hayfever.
Now, not that anyone is obliged to share anything they don't want to, but the fact that a more serious illness was brought in as an afterthought obviously puts a different slant on it.
If OP is that ill (and genuine condolences, I wouldn't wish anything like that on anyone) then you'd think her loved ones would put her first.
I am disabled myself (neurological and connective tissue disorder) but if my partner of 4 years, never mind 40 odd as with OP, was seriously ill then you'd better believe I'd do absolutely everything I could to make their time as happy as possible whether it made me uncomfortable or not.

I would try and move the van

If you’ve already made your mind up, why are you still carrying on?
Either sell it or don’t and move on.
I mean no disrespect but surely you & hubby can find another activity you enjoy doing together.

Caravan dust is often allergenic, however clean you try to keep it, my BIL had asthma attacks whenever they went in their caravan, so they had to sell it.

Not RTFT but hay fever vaccine ?

’She also made the whole thing about her DH's hayfever ’

Because that’s part of the reason why they’re getting rid of the caravan and is therefore very relevant...

The OP’s illness isn’t part of the reason they are getting rid of the van, which is what the post is about, and so wasn’t initially included.

I wish I had a happy place... Keep it.

Does he have a happy place that you don't go to?