To think that no one, absolutely no one can understand my devastation.....

[Toooldtobearsed2]

Crap subject, I know. But we currently have a touring caravan which is sited in a beautiful part of the country.
We go there for, perhaps, 6 weeks in total throughout the year, but split into 2 or 3 ight stays iyswim.
DH has complained ad nauseum about not being able to sleep, getting tight chested ( hay fever) and being uncomfortable.
I am not a bitch. If he hates it, it simply does not work. So, we are selling said van. Tomorrow, 3 sets of potential buyers are viewing. We will get a sale - it is a huge bargain.
I cannot stop crying. This is my happy place, where I can truly relax, walk for miles, eat delicious food, flump.
It is the right thing to do. I know that. But it is breaking my heart.
First world problems and all that. Just wanted to spread my misery😄

It's quite sad if you have to spend holidays apart when you already spend all your working days apart and don't really see each other apart from holidays!

I am divorced. I go on holiday with my children and no partner. I am perfectly capable of doing this. But I wouldn't choose to do that if I had a partner I loved, who loved me.

I get it OP. Just because other people love spending time without their partner doesn't make you odd

I'm so sorry. I'd be really sad as well. But... how lovely, that you and DH so genuinely enjoy the time you spend together, too.

for you, OP.

@50Bookworm4 I understand what you are saying, but we DO spend time apart. The time we spend away form home though, we prefer to spend together.
Even when we are away in the van, we do seperate things, and at the end of a busy day, I love sitting with a glass of wine and telling him acout the walk over the moors I did with the dogs and hearing about the to be honest fucking boring fishong DH has been doing.
Yes, as HE suggested, I could go on my own, but I actually enjoy his company, so choose not to.
That does not mean I cannot be sad about losing it all.

Oh Lord! Sorry about the spelling and grammar failings...... Hanging my head in shame😣

I know plenty of couples who have separate interests and may even take a holiday apart once a year. I don't think that's quite the same as frequent trips away without each other - the OP says 6 weeks of short trips so 14ish times a year.

Can't you hold onto it until he has his hip replacement? He might feel completely differently and regret selling. Is there no chance of paying privately for a hip replacement to speed things along?

If you do sell maybe whoever you sell to might rent it out so you could still spend some nights there from time to time.

I feel your pain but from the other side.
We have a campervan and I have terrible allergies and asthma. I do enjoy going out on day trips in it but invariably camping involves grass and I end up in hospital.

It costs money to maintain the campervan and store it, as I imagine it costs you money to keep your caravan at a site - meaning we don’t get weekends away as a couple or family because the money we would spend on that is spent on the van.

The DC and DH love it but we are looking to sell because we enjoy going away together and this avenue just doesn’t work for us. I’ll be very sad for DC and DH but they think I should get to enjoy trips away too.

I don't want you to sell it if it means that much to you!

And, just to say, Thank You to those who 'get it'.

I know I am not an MN norm, but after 41years of marriage, I actually still enjoy spending time with DH.
Not too much time, you understand, just a wee bit 🤣
A new chapter I suppose. DH keeps assuring me we can go away numerous times a year but meh...... it wont be my van......

Anyways, worse things happen at sea. Apparently.

So he needs to get his hip sorted.

I have bad hay-fever and we have a caravan on a site where everything seems to trigger it. I dose up on pills, eye spray and nasal spray and it does the trick. Or go outside of peak pollen times.

Your attitude towards people who have offered advice is appalling BTW.

@05WelcomeToShootingStars Can you explain please? I would be fucking devastated to think I had upset posters, and cannot see what I have done wrong.
What have i said, or done that is appalling?
Shit. I am sorry.
I will fuck off now. I never intended to upset anyone. I am so upset myself.

I won't ask MN to delete thi thread, that is shit.

Apologies to everyone.

I'm with others who don't understand. You love the van, presumably he at least likes it during the day when he's not fighting to sleep? His issues are not insurmountable.

I have asthma and a severe grass allergy which triggers my asthma and hay fever like symptoms. I can camp. I go to my Dr who gives me prescription only anti-histamines and a new preventative inhaler which I can only use during summer. I also shower every evening and change into clean clothes/nightwear in the shower block to try to minimise the amount of grass pollen on my skin, clothes, hair etc.

As for the pain, it's not permanent, he'll get the OP, the pain will get better and you might start to regret selling the van. Has he tried sleeping in a reclining chair? I know a few people with bad joints who prefered that while the DR was getting the right cocktail of pain relief sorted?

The money you will get from selling it and saving with site fees you can put towards other holidays with comfier beds!

As pp's have said, my DP struggles massively with hay fever, piriton is pointless and doesn't make a difference, he needs to go to his gp so they can prescribe him something stronger.

I get you OP, have no idea why others have been so ridiculous! You will find a new happy place!

How has the OP had any kind of “attitude”?

This is your happy place but you want to holiday with your partner who can’t manage holidays there. That’s shit. Of course you’re gutted.
Could you rent out to family members or friends to save selling it right now?
Hope he gets the hip fixed soon. Pain is shitty to live with.

I can't think of anything worst than going on holiday without my husband frankly. That might change when we retire or we suddenly can afford to take 10 holidays a year, but until then, it would be miserable.

Can and want are 2 different matters!

SOme posters are just odd and rude.

I lost my happy place of 20 years, a few years ago. But while I still miss it at times, I did find another happy place! So all is not lost.

I can't go to the new one as often as the old one, but just knowing there's a Place, is important. I hope you find your new one soon, OP.

The OP hasn't done anything wrong!

Not all advice has been constructive, some has been quite nasty.

She has no need to apologise

@WelcomeToShootingStars what on earth are you on about? The OP has said nothing wrong and has no attitude whatsoever. Seriously, you need to look to your own attitude.

OP, please don't be driven away by the nutjobs.

Op, in the kindest possible way, you are being way too hard on yourself. It sounds like you have far too much on your plate. I don't think your posts are weird or evenly remotely upsetting.

I am the same way about time with DH. And, I have been through waiting two years for my extremely sporty and active DH waiting for a hip replacement. It was torture for both of us, but especially him. He could not make it through a grocery shop without going and sitting in the car. It basically ruined every vacation we tried to take. It is night and day now he has had the surgery.

I hope the two of you are not jumping the gun on selling. Have you really talked it through? Are finances stressing you?

You could try going there when the pollen counts are low or off season. Things will be different after the hip replacement.

Hang in there. Try to be kind to yourself.

OP, I get it. You love the caravan but don’t want to go away in it on your own as you’d rather spend time with your dh. Which is fine. And it’s fine to still be sad about losing the caravan.

Can you use some of the money to buy something nice like a summer house for the garden? Could still be a little happy place?

Or use the money for some cottage holidays over the next few years? Comfier beds but still nice walking and food?

It may sound slightly mad, but would it work if you go to the caravan and your DH visits, or maybe stays in an airbnb nearby?

I don't understand why you're selling the caravan at bargain prices anyway? Why not at the right value?

I wouldn't sell it, especially if it's really your happy place, it's unfair to you.

I really don't see why you can't go for a couple of days on your own, it must be special to you, so go! It's so silly to not.

Also, if he really must go with you, look for allergy testing, if you know what it is, you may be able to combat it. Ask his GP for more help. I'd at least hold off for that.

We have a tourer, too.

I have a week away every year ON MY OWN because I love it.

I love DH, too - but I do enjoy a bit of just-me-and-the-dogs time. (I take our 3 spaniels - they drive DH daft, but they keep me sane.)

It's truly lovely and helps me re-charge my batteries.

Keep your van for yourself. You could try it for a year anyway, and if after next year's season you still feel it's unfair, sell it then.

I'd be buggered if I'd want to drag a touring caravan around on my own for odd weekends, sounds like hell on earth. My DH is over 6 feet tall and after just one caravan break, he vowed to never again sleep in a bed made for midgets . To be fair, he was horribly uncomfortable. The kids and I did a few more to be fair in half terms but we moved onto holiday cottages.

I can see totally what you mean OP, you just need to find a new happy medium. What about a lodge or static caravan on a site near the sea?