To think that no one, absolutely no one can understand my devastation.....

[Toooldtobearsed2]

Crap subject, I know. But we currently have a touring caravan which is sited in a beautiful part of the country.
We go there for, perhaps, 6 weeks in total throughout the year, but split into 2 or 3 ight stays iyswim.
DH has complained ad nauseum about not being able to sleep, getting tight chested ( hay fever) and being uncomfortable.
I am not a bitch. If he hates it, it simply does not work. So, we are selling said van. Tomorrow, 3 sets of potential buyers are viewing. We will get a sale - it is a huge bargain.
I cannot stop crying. This is my happy place, where I can truly relax, walk for miles, eat delicious food, flump.
It is the right thing to do. I know that. But it is breaking my heart.
First world problems and all that. Just wanted to spread my misery😄

I'm another one not getting it here. It doesn't follow, you giving up something you love is not a proportionate solution to the problem you've described. No loving spouse would want their partner to be giving up something that made them happy like this. I don't get why his allergies are an issue in the caravan but not at home? It just doesn't make any sense that you've reached this conclusion, unless there's some info missing. Please don't be a martyr, it's not required.

Sell the blasted thing.
Use the money for comfy cottage rentals in the same area. Or deposit on a holiday apartment. So you still get to be where you love to be.
There comes a point where our bodies are too old to sleep in the crap beds in caravans.
DH can look into the hay fever thing more...maybe get tested and the shots to desensitize him to whatever he is allergic to. It may even be a mold allergy from sleeping in a caravan.

Ah this is what it is. You've been with him since you were 17. Probably never had another relationship. Probably have very few intimate friendships that don't revolve around you two as a couple. Probably quite co-dependent. Which is fine if it works for you. But the upshot seems to be if you want something and he doesn't, you lose. Hopefully in similar situations he gives up things for you too. But that's why most people on here aren't getting it, because they fully matured before finding our partners rather than essentially growing up with them always having to be taken into account.

What the hell is wrong with people?

Always thinking they bloody well know best.

Well you don't.

Christ do you not think Op and her husband have actually had conversations about this and the solution was to do exactly as Op is doing?

I get it Op. It's shit. You will find your happy place again. Could you find a cottage to rent in the area (or is the area itself part of the problem?).

And I entirely understand why you would want to share your relaxation time with your DP.

To everyone with suggestions of moving site, we did consider that, but the sleeping and sitting in comfort would not be resolved, nd yes, at bome he is reasonably comfortable most of the time and when he is not, he can sit somewhere else - which he cannot do in the van.

I think I need to leave now. Although, obviously I wont (😣) because I just wanted a whinge, whine and pat on the back. There are no solutions folks. Just support my misery🤣🤣🤣

Obviously your call OP but just wanted to say piriton doesn’t cut it for bad hayfever you need to get DH to see a doctor and get something better.
It won’t help with the hip replacement issues obviously but worth investigating for hayfever alone.

@weaningwoes how fucking patronising are you?

Maybe you can find another little
Holiday home somewhere OP that is more comfortable for you and DH so you can both enjoy it.
Hopefully when you find your new place you’ll look back at the caravan with fondness instead of sadness at losing it.
Don’t undersell it though! You mentioned it will sell because it’s a bargain, but I hope you’re not letting it go too cheaply :)

I totally get why you don't want to have such a large expense without your partner and why you are feeling sad right now. I wonder whether you could develop a love of camping together? Or would he get the same issues there? Have you tried throwing out the mattresses and buying new? is he allergic to animals? if he is and animals have been in the van this will really be the only way to get rid of their dander (it's what I'd have to do if I bought a used van). If not and there really is no way to make this work then do let yourself feel sad at the end of this era. And do brainstorm with your OH re: how you can get a new happy place where you can walk and flump -both very good for wellbeing.

I get it OP. I’d be gutted to lose our motorhome. And I completely understand why going by yourself wouldn’t hold the same appeal at all.
I was coming on to suggest trying a coastal site too.
Has the van ever had a habitation check to check for mould or, damp or, something in the van that could be contributing to the problem?

If you don’t have to sell it now, why not wait another while? Especially with an operation on the cards. After his hip replacement we used to joke that my df had got a personality replacement at the same time. Pain makes everything difficult.

@MaidenMotherCroneen pretty patronising!

Can you find somewhere with a camping pod or get a cheap tent and have the odd night away? We have had to give up camping. My fault. Pain and stuff. But I understand the “my place” thing.

Can you not sell DH instead?

@Toooldtobearsed2
Awww sympathy here

Sometimes you don't came to mumsnet for solutions you come to get somethjng off your chest whichnyoube explained several times but you still get twats like @weaningwoes thinking they know better than you

All the suggestions to use it on your own are weird. Who wants to go on holidays without their partner? I wouldn’t.

It’s a shame, but you can console yourself with having breaks in nice hotels instead. But I say that as someone who thinks the idea of a caravan is horrendous.

That thread saying how horrible people can be on here has absolutely nailed it!

I don't do everything with my DH (I'm older than the OP) and happily spend weekends apart.

That's us.

Some couples like spending their time together. They're not wrong. What @weaningwoes said was absolute tripe!
And as for You don't sound like a fully fledged adult. Well, what a downright stupid thing to say.

Can't people just come on here and express sadness, or disappointment or something without being ripped to shreds?

@33MaidenMotherCrone and @37Bellasblankexpression thank you. You get it.
@33weaningwoes, to be fair, you might have a point. I honestly dont know. We do spend time apart. I volunteer for a homeless charity, he does for a community allotme t.
I go on 10k walks, he teaches silver surfers (their name, not mine).
I am involved with the local community, he does more 'hands on' kind of stuff.

BUT, we love being together, spending time together. Poor bugger is waiting for a hip replacement. He cannot walk the 7 or 8 miles per day I do. He cannot sleep in comfort anywhere really, but particularly outside of home.
He is a total and utter pain in the arse, but I love him and would not really enjoy time spent without him. So shoot me 😁

You sound lovely OP, and "normal".
Yes, couples make compromised sometimes if one is truly miserable.

I hope you can find a happy compromise of sorts, I am sure you will!

Some posters are truly miserable, don't know what being in a happy relationship means - shame yours just met a hurdle.

Never forget that some posters genuinely believe that no one living as a couple can be happy, have any right or freedom, laugh, be happy, be equals and love their best friends. Sad.

Toooldtobearsed2. ignore the trolls( there is another thread today somewhere on awful posters) yes looking at you namechanging2019! .it must be so sad for you but lots of good advice from the nicer posters, I too get really bad hay fever and it is hell! I really cant breath! Nose totally blocks up and really hard to breath! Xx

sorry it's not worked out for you. hope you can find something you can both enjoy in comfort.

Thank you all

@Bookworm4 it's not complete dependency on another and it's not weird.

Busy lives often leave little time to actually be together. If I'm going away I'd rather it was with DH.

Sympathy here too.
I agree with a pp not to sell cheaply, could you put the money to another little holiday home, chalet or even a static van, something you could get a decent bed in and a comfier chair? You could experiment with the site, maybe, to check out the allergies.