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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boys and noise!

200 replies

Stapelberg · 07/09/2019 17:42

I have one child. ONE!! The neighbours might think there's 6.
This child cannot do anything at a normal speed or noise level.
All my friends have girls. They sit quietly. They colour in cute pictures. They thread beads to make colourful bracelets. They pet and rock their cats/dogs or push them in a pram.
My son:
Runs everywhere at top speed. Screeches to a halt when he spots a bug/worm/spider/butterfly which is then carefully lifted up in a dirty little hand, gently placed in his bug box, and off he runs screaming at the top of his lungs 'Muuuuuuuum!!!' to show me his new find.
He never rocks the cat. He ambushes it, then chases it up the stairs and laughs hysterically when the cat in turn waits for him around the corner and pounces on him when he races past.
He doesn't thread beads. He gathers them in his hands and throws them outside up in the air, then marvels at the patterns the sunlight makes with the colourful plastic gems.
At bathtime he utters war cries while saving a drowning clothes peg from an oversized plastic jug.

When I get home from work, he squeels in a high pitched little voice, drops everything in his hands and throws his whole 6 year old self into my arms. He never stops talking, smiling and playing. His bike stunts ('look mum, I can left my bum off the seat while I fly over the ramp') leaves me breathless.
And yet come bedtime and he nestles, fragrant and clean and damp after his bath, in my lap for story time, there's not a more perfect, more quiet moment in the world I would want to swap him for.

AIBU to think boys are just the noisiest, most amazing little creatures?!

OP posts:
dollydaydream114 · 07/09/2019 17:44

It’s got nothing to do with him being a boy. Some boys are noisy, some are quiet.

PurpleDaisies · 07/09/2019 17:45

Your boy might be. Many girls are like this too. Gender stereotypes are helpful.

PurpleDaisies · 07/09/2019 17:45

^UNhelpful

Imonlymoominafterall · 07/09/2019 17:45

God. Really?

Thesearmsofmine · 07/09/2019 17:46

I have 3 boys and they they are all totally different to each other. One is very noisy but that’s just him, not because he is a boy.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 07/09/2019 17:48

It sounds like he has a wonderful imagination. My girls are the noisy ones in this house. DS will sit and read or play with Lego, but the girls are going a mile a minute.

Try to get involved in what he's doing, you might enjoy it 😊

BackforGood · 07/09/2019 17:50

Hmm.
I agree with everyone else.
Some boys are noisy bundles of energy, others aren't.
Some girls are noisy bundles of energy, others aren't.
You have a strange perception of girls, tbh.

Loopytiles · 07/09/2019 17:50

Urgh

Winsomelosesome · 07/09/2019 17:51

AIBU to think boys are just the noisiest, most amazing little creatures?!

Yes YABU and sexist. My boy has never squealed or been loud, nor would I ever have let him chase our cat, the little girl next door otoh screams like a banshee for no apparent reason on a regular basis --she's 10 ffs-.

WorraLiberty · 07/09/2019 17:51

For goodness sake, it's nothing to do with them being boys and I say that as a mother of 3 of them!

All my friends have girls. They sit quietly. They colour in cute pictures. They thread beads to make colourful bracelets. They pet and rock their cats/dogs or push them in a pram.

That's such a shame, unless perhaps you just don't see them running, jumping, climbing, collecting bugs and getting dirty?

AdelaideK · 07/09/2019 17:52

Well he certainly sounds lively.

I would not put it down to being a boy as I have two and neither of them are like you describe.

It's like me describing all girls as constantly squealing and shrieking just because my next door neighbours do.

Malvinaa81 · 07/09/2019 17:54

Make the most of it. He sounds a lovely child.

I presume all developmental signs are OK for a boy his age? It does sound as if they are.

The one thing with boys as vigorous as yours is danger of accidents from sharp corners, bangs to the head, broken limbs etc!

Do be careful with the poor cat though.....

EdnaAdaSmith · 07/09/2019 17:55

Practice for your creative writing class?

What everyone else says is true. I have several children, boys and girls - they're all a mix of traits, but if you expect gender stereotypes you reinforce and exaggerate them if matching personality traits happen to exist or make your child feel inadequate if they don't match your expectations.

It's nice that you enjoy your child, but stop with the purile stereotypes.

lazylinguist · 07/09/2019 17:55

Yup, YABU.

whatisit12345 · 07/09/2019 17:55

All my friends have girls. They sit quietly. They colour in cute pictures. They thread beads to make colourful bracelets. They pet and rock their cats/dogs or push them in a pram.

My girls can't be as far away from your description as possible. Why should they 'sit quietly' 'make colourful bracelets' ... just because they are girls. They jump in puddles, play football and run after pigeons! They are kids for god sake ... doesn't matter girls or boys!

PurpleDaisies · 07/09/2019 17:56

Praising girls for “sitting quietly” is utterly depressing.

Victoriajosephine86 · 07/09/2019 17:56

Maybe you should discipline him a bit better to make him use his inside voice...and tell him off for chasing the poor cat

Confused your child is doing it because you allow it. Your child is no more noisy than mine would be naturally but the difference is, I tell my children when their behaviour isn’t what I’m expecting and for that reason, they’re fairly quiet (within reason).

Your kid isn’t special I’m afraid and it’s not the fact that he’s a boy that makes him noisy and boisterous. It’s the lack of control and discipline in your home.

Hope that helps

SimonJT · 07/09/2019 17:56

I have a son.

He is sat drawing a picture of the cat, he has been sat quietly doing it for about half an hour. Before that we played with lego, none was thrown and there was no shouting/squealing. He’s very gentle and generally very calm.

A childs personality makes them noisy, quiet etc, not their genitals.

plunkplunkfizz · 07/09/2019 17:56

Please show me this mythical cat that will allow itself to be rocked and pushed about in a pram...

It’s a shame that part is a figment of your imagination while gender stereotypes are a very real and significant part. Hmm

WorraLiberty · 07/09/2019 17:58

Yes actually I do wonder if your 'boys will be boys' attitude is inadvertently making him shy away from enjoying quieter passtimes?

I think the majority of children I know, tend to enjoy both rough/messy/noisy play and quieter activities such as reading/colouring/creating various things etc.

bluebluezoo · 07/09/2019 17:59

AIBU to think boys are just the noisiest, most amazing little creatures?!

Yes. Very U.

My dd has spent her toddler life fighting these stereotypes. She’s active, fearless, fast, physical. Everyone assumes she’s a boy. I get lectured on how boys are so physical, but I’ll be grateful when all those mums of girls hit the teenage bitchy phase as boys are much easier, don’t you think?

It actually confuses the fuck out of people when I say she’s a girl, with some standing and arguing with me!

Children are the most amazing creatures. Some are noisy, some aren’t.

GhostHoward · 07/09/2019 18:04

I have three boys and I'm not sure I'd be able to spend 5 minutes with yours. He sounds like he's undisciplined a handful.

pimbee · 07/09/2019 18:21

Is the shrieking coming from his genitalia?

ipswichwitch · 07/09/2019 18:26

Agree, nothing to do with being boys, just that’s their personality. I have two boys - one is capable of sitting drawing and making models but he talks CONSTANTLY. The other has ASD and does everything at top volume. He is boisterous and very physical. I know some girls that are the same.

roisinagusniamh · 07/09/2019 18:28

So sad that in this day and age such appalling stereotypes still exist.
Your son is a child.
Children need exercise.
You need to learn how to parent properly, thereby reigning him in a bit.
There is no need for that level of noise.
Perhaps he is lacking attention from you or his other parent?

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